There was a period in my life where I was chronically depressed. I wasn't born with it cos I was a happy kid when I was younger. But in my teens, it ws bad. It wasn't your typical teenage angst though I suspect that the phase did contribute to my misery. I would have no appetite, didn't want to go out, didn't want to watch TV, cry a lot, hurt myself physically, contemplate suicide. While I cannot blame everything on my JW upbringing, I CAN AND WILL BLAME THEM FOR THEIR demonization of the world.
"Everyone on the "outside" is not good company."
"Reading the Bible brings you Happiness"
"Fellowship with God's household is wholesome" (It wasn't. If you've ever been in a congregation with arrogant elders and power hungry young men you might know what I mean. It never ceases to amaze me how the power of God's Word cannot compel these ones to change.)
"We must not shy away from being DIFFERENT in this world"
The last message was particularly damaging to my ability to socialise and interact with other youths at school. I would never curse, express disgust at obscene jokes, feign disinterest in sex, reject well-meaning peers (non-JWs) who tried to be my friend ("they're not good company, no point getting close to them"), take pride in the derision I suffered from my peers for being different. I was a martyr, product of the pharisaical self-righteousness of the bloody old men of the Watchtower, but more significantly, I wasn't happy.
How could one be happy when he constantly defies his true nature?
Now that I'm away from my home cong and I do what I want, when I want, I am beginning to see that life is truly enjoyable if you choose to make it that way. You needn't postpone such simple pleasures for a future Paradise that will never come in your lifetime, if ever.
INQ