Posts by Super

73

Nearly a week smoke-free, and I am MOODY!!!

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

i've been off of cigarettes for almost a week now.

i'm chewing nicotine gum like mad, but i can still feel myself melting down inside.

the world seems like such a crummy place to be right now.

Super_Becka

It varies from state to state. In Ohio, they're $4-6 a pack. The ones I like are $6, the ones I can tolerate are $4. (There are even some $3 and unders, but good heavens, even smokers should have standards!!!)

Here they cost about £5 ($8) a pack of 20.

I don't smoke, but I'm pretty sure they're around $9 plus sales taxes (15% in Newfoundland) up here, give or take. The government keeps putting more taxes on them to raise the prices and make smoking less attractive. I don't think it's working - smokers who want to smoke will pay for the cigarettes, no matter how expensive they get.

And AlmostAthiest, sorry about the failed attempt to quit, you're certainly not the only one who's had trouble kicking the habit, but I have every confidence that, when you're good and ready for it, you'll be able to give it up for good. Keep us posted on your adventures in quitting smoking!!

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

My problem I could do with advice on is tiredness in the day.

I get that, too, but it tends to be because of the lack of sleep. I find that I really hit a wall early in the evening, say around 7pm or so, and I feel like I could just go to bed then and sleep all night. Of course, if I go to bed then, the problem would be waking up at 3am and I still wouldn't have a normal sleep schedule.

I generally just try to ride it out and wait until a more normal bedtime, say, around 11pm or midnight, but then I tend to be wide awake again. I have no idea how to fix it, no matter how tired I am, I always "wake up" when it's bedtime, even if I was dead-tired all day. Weird.

I'm actually in one of those slumps right now. It's just past 8pm here and I feel like I should go to bed. No can do, I have homework to get finished, but in another two hours or so, when it's getting closer to a normal bedtime, I'll be wide awake again.

I'm starting to wonder if I have "delayed sleep phase syndrome" - that's when a person can sleep for the usual 8 hours or so, but he/she can't get to sleep until really late in the night, so his/her sleep cycle is the same as a normal person's, it's just delayed by a few hours and so doesn't fit into a regular routine.

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

A lot of my nurse friends swear by Gravol or Benadryl for helping them get some sleep. ; I have only used Gravol a couple of times since I started working permanent night shift. ; The nice thing about both of these medications is that they are not addictive the way sedatives can be.

My mom is a nurse who works permanent night shifts and she says that a lot of her friends and co-workers use Gravol to help them sleep if they're having trouble. I guess it's a common remedy in the nursing community, and if it's good enough for them, I guess it's good enough for me. I think I'll pick up a package the next time I'm at the drugstore, just in case.

Maybe the things you are learning about your boyfriend's belief system are causing some conflict for you. ; It would be natural, for example, for you to feel on ;some level that your investigations on JWD may be perceived as a betrayal of trust, and this conflicts with your knowledge that you are a trustworthy person. ; It also puts you in a position where you are no longer at a disadvantage to his belief system. ; Remember how empowering it was when you first arrived here, and learned why your boyfriend has such a negative attitude toward the celebrations that you cherish? ; You learned some different ways to cope with his attitude, and by the sound of things he has responded well to the way you handled the matter. ; Is it possible that you feel a bit "guilty" for "tricking" [for lack of a better word, or to use a word that he might use in this circumstance] ;him into behaving better?
Only you know the answers to those questions, and please don't feel that I'm not supportive of the action you've taken to improve the relationship from your end. ; But if there's a chance that this has been bothering you on a subconscious level, it wouldn't surprise me that it would be interfering with your ability to get a good night's sleep. ; Either way, it would be worth checking into it.

Oh, no offence taken, I don't think you're being unsupportive at all. I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about my relationship and JWs in general and this board and what I've learned and am continuing to learn, and how all of this figures into my life now that I'm in a relationship with a JW, so it could be having an effect on my sleep habits. I'm not especially concerned about this being a betrayal of trust in my relationship, though, because I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, I'm a student and I'm researching, and I've also never lied about my research, it's just something that doesn't come up in conversation. If I was lying about it, then I would certainly feel guilty, I have an incredible guilt complex, but I never lie to him about anything, I'm just conveniently not telling him about this board. It still feels so good to learn more about why he believes what he does and behaves the way he does, and I actually think that this is helping me relax a little and not stress out so much about everything. Before I learned anything about JWs and the WTS, I was so stressed out, I didn't know what to think or how to handle things, but now that I'm learning, I feel much better about everything. Actually, I think I've actually been sleeping better since I started posting here, this board is very therapeutic. True, the world of the WTS still confuses and scares me, but I actually feel good about learning about it, I feel better prepared and well-armed with good, solid information, it's a very good feeling. And it's even better that my relationship is going more smoothly since I started reading here, I'm getting better at dealing with my JW boyfriend and understanding him and I'm feeling much more comfortable with everything.

This new sleep problem has arisen very recently, in the past two weeks, but it's not resolving itself, which is unusual. I've been researching for months and posting here since November, so I'm inclined to think that there's some other problem that's keeping me awake, I just don't know what it is. Nothing has changed recently, nothing new at all, I just can't seem to sleep anymore.

I always listen to some quiet music when I go to bed, I've always found that it helps me sleep, but I don't do anything else that might be distracting. I never have caffeine after supper (or "dinner" for all of you non-Newfies out there), I don't talk on the phone in bed, I don't read or watch TV in bed, nothing like that. Hmm, maybe I'm just meant to be nocturnal.

Or maybe I just need a vacation...

Well, it's late here now, so I'm gonna attempt to get some sleep, I have an anthropology test at 10:30am. If I sleep, great, if I don't, I'll probably be back here, perusing the threads, in a couple of hours.

Thanks for all the advice, everyone, I appreciate it!! If there's anything else, I'd love to hear it!!

-Becka :)

12

A little more about me.....

by mandivided in

jw
friends

hey everyone,.

just want to thank everyone for responding so positively to my first post (a long rant...and a new beginning).

thought i'd share a little of mys story...well maybe alot of my story!.

Super_Becka

Hi Joe,

I'm glad you've decided to stick around the board, we're happy to have you along. As you can see, there are lots of good people here who will listen and help you with what you're going through, everyone here is very warm and kind and accepting.

It's good to read some more of your story, I'm sure you'll find that just getting it written down will make you feel better, and there are lots of people here who have been through similar situations who can give you advice and tips on how to handle everything. If you're willing to share your story and your life with us, you'll find lots of listening ears on the board, and lots of love and support when you need it.

I've never been a JW myself, I stumbled across this forum in my research because I'm dating a JW (he's unbaptized and inactive), but I've been reading lots of personal stories here and it never ceases to shock me when I read a story like yours, with so much heartache and pain caused by a group that claims to be "God's organization". I can't relate to what you have been through and are going through, but I can see the pain in your words and I feel for you. My heart broke when I read the part of your story about your friend who died thinking that you'd abandoned her, I can't imagine how that must have affected you. I just hope that you're not blaming yourself for what happened to her, everything you did was based on what the Watchtower Society taught you and forced you to believe.

I hope you feel free to post any stories you'd like to share with us, I know I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Write whatever you want, and as much as you want to, you've had a rough go of it and we're all here to listen and help you get through this. And if you worry about writing posts that are too long and boring, check out some of my first threads, from back when I first came here a couple of months ago, crying for help with my JW boyfriend, those were some extremely long posts and I still got a lot of responses, the people on this board are not afraid to read some long posts. Nobody will try to shut you up, you can't possible talk too much to bother us JWDers.

Enjoy your time here on the board, Joe, I look forward to more posts from you. I wish you nothing but the very best in getting through the pain you're feeling right now, and I hope you're never afraid to ask for help here.

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

Firstly, don't try alcohol to solve it, it only makes the problem worse

I guess I should note that I don't drink, not at all, so this wouldn't be a problem for me. I'm a full-on teetotaler by personal choice. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a geek, I don't drink and I don't smoke, either, I'm clean. And I'm not on any form of medication at all, none at all, prescription or otherwise, nothing that might keep me awake, but also nothing to help me sleep, either.

Read a Watchtower.

Heh, good suggestion, Frannie. I haven't even seen one of those around here in years (not many JWs in these parts), might make for an amusing and sleep-inducing read. It might make me laugh too hard, though, and then not only would I not be sleeping, but my three roommates wouldn't be sleeping, either.

Thanks for all of the tips, everyone, if there's anything else you can think of, I'd love to hear it!!

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

Gotta say it.
I reckon sex is the best way to get a good nights sleep. Truly

Spoken like a true man, doofdaddy. My boyfriend has the same advice - except he lives on the other side of the continent, so he can't help me out here.

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

If I have trouble sleeping from worry or frustration, I get myself tired, really tired.

I find if I get up at 5 am a couple days, I'll for sure sleep good the second night.

Hmm, tried it. I'm actually really really really tired right now, completely exhausted, just like I was when I went to bed last night, but I still can't sleep. Meh, maybe I'm just weird.

Hehehe, and I'd try getting up at 5am for a few days, just to see if I could be tired enough to sleep after a few really early mornings, but I'm generally still awake at 5am. Can you still call it "getting up" then if you haven't really "gone to bed" yet??

Looks like I'm not the only one here with at least occasional sleep trouble. I'm trying to stay away from medication, but I've had some friends recommend taking Gravol (the anti-motion sickness OTC medication) before bedtime because it tends to make you really drowsy. Anyone ever try that?? I'm just concerned with becoming dependent on something, prescription or otherwise, especially because I have a hard time remembering to take something every day (I can't even remember to take a multi-vitamim every day!!) and I don't want to depend on medication to do something that should come naturally.

-Becka :)

12

The Better Days...

by Blueblades in

jw
friends

my mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cuting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning.

my mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and i used to eat a bite raw sometimes, too.

our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper, in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but i can't remember anybody getting e.coli.. almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool ( talk about boring ), no beach closures then.. the term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school pa. system.

Super_Becka

Hehehe, I'm 20 years old and I still remember most of this stuff!!

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cuting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't get food poisoning.

Yup, and my mom even had an old, worn wooden cutting board - people shudder now at the thought of using a wooden cutting board for raw meat, they can't soak it in bleach like they can with a plastic board.

a pager was the school PA. system. We all took gym, not PE. ( PHY. ED. )...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's ( only worn in gym ) instead of having cross - training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built - in light refelectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must of happened, because they tell us how much safer we are now...

Flunking gym was not an option...even for stupid kids! I guess PE. must be much harder than gym.

Hehehe, love that school PA system. I don't remember Keds, though, I've only seen those in the movies. When I was younger, everyone had a pair of LA Gear high-tops, anyone else remember those?? And I didn't even hear the term "phys. ed" until I was a teenager, and when I did, I was horribly confused by it - I've always called it "gym class", thanks, and I still do. And no, there was no way to fail gym class, all you had to do was show up!!

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the National Athem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must of had horribly damaged psyches.

We had to stand for "O Canada" and the Lord's Prayer, and some responsive prayers from our school's prayer books every morning, and I never thought it was weird. What was weird was when there were two JW kids in my class (only briefly, they left after a week or so) and one in my brother's class (nobody knew him very well, he had no friends) who would step out of the classroom when the national anthem and prayers were being done over the PA system. Why did they bother going out into the hallway, anyway?? There were speakers out there, too!!

we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48 - cent bottle of Mercurochrome ( Kids liked it better because it did not sting like iodine did.

OK, now I'm jealous, my mom always used peroxide and iodine when I managed to hurt myself, and that stuff stung like a sonofabitch!! Where was this fancy no-sting stuff when I was a kid?! And the only thing worse was when the bandages had to come back off - Mom would just tear them off, no being gentle, no soaking them off slowly, it was quick and painful, but it worked!!

I also grew up in time of VCRs and the original Nintendo system, you know, with the little controllers with the red and black buttons and the Super Mario Bros. games (didn't you all just want to shoot that dog from "Duck Hunt"??). We had basic cable, but that was it, just about 25 channels, most of which were boring American channels. We had an old TV that didn't have a remote control, we had one of those old pop-top VCRs with a remote control that you had to plug in, and we had a car with no air conditioning or power windows. I didn't wear a bicycle helmet, though I fell off my bike a lot. When I went to the school library, there was a card catalogue, remember those?? Drawers filled with cards with the information and call numbers for books by topic, no fancy computer systems. Imagine how shocked I was when I switched schools as a teenager and they had computers instead of card catalogues!!

Wow, now I feel old!!

Anyone else have any fun stories from when they were younger??

-Becka :)

6

Looking for helpful advice

by Gizmo5013 in

hey everybody i am looking for some help.

i am in love with a jw and she has told me she loves me.

we have absolutely everything in common.

Super_Becka

I have decided to go a different route- a non christian route. Haha. well for now anyway we'll see where this goes. So I decided to be just friends with this girl and just ya nkow be there for her and have her be there for me. So yeah...go me.

I'm glad you've found a route that you're comfortable following. And I'm glad that you're still willing to be this girl's friend, that might be just what the both of you really need. I hope you find your own path and that you're happy being who you are.

I wish you the best of luck.

-Becka :)

40

Sleep trouble - any tips??

by Super_Becka in

jw
friends

argh, i'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so i'm looking for some help.. i'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, i'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, i've been having some trouble sleeping.

a scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive.

i do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and i never nap during the day, i avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and i always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, i'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep.

Super_Becka

Argh, I'm a little on the frustrated side right now, so I'm looking for some help.

I'm usually quite good at getting lots of sleep, I'm usually in bed at a decent hour in the night and can usually get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep a night (more on the weekends, of course), but for the last week or so, I've been having some trouble sleeping. A scattered night of sleeplessness can be expected from time to time, but it's been about 10 days now, that's a little excessive. I do all of my usual things during the day - classes, homework, chores, cooking, cleaning, errands - and I never nap during the day, I avoid all forms of caffeine after 5pm, and I always go to bed feeling like it's time for me to go to sleep, I'm usually tired at bedtime, but lately, it's been taking me forever to get to sleep. I go to bed at midnight, and I'm still looking at the clock at 4am. I was awake until 5am this morning.

I've had this trouble before. Last year, I spent 6 out of the 8 months I spent in here university trying to get rid of a nasty bout of insomnia. I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night, sometimes less, and no matter what I did, I could never sleep before 5am or 6am. I avoided caffeine completely, I never napped during the day, I would take some time to relax before bedtime, but I just couldn't sleep. It didn't resolve itself until I went home for the summer. I think that episode was caused by the stress of school compounded with the stress of a bad relationship and consequent breakup (my boyfriend had been cheating on me for months with my roommate, and after the breakup, they continued their relationship in the room next to mine - not what I needed). Once I got home and away from all of the stressors - no schoolwork, no ex-boyfriend, no backstabbing roommate, etc. - the sleep problems just disintegrated. I slept 16 hours my first night at home last April, it was great, and I haven't had any sleep problems since.

Until now, that is. And to make matters worse, I don't know what could be the problem this time. School is going well, I'm in a good relationship with a great guy who treats me very well (and my family likes him, too, so all the better), things are even going well at home, no arguments with my parents at all. I have lots of big plans for the summer, lots of travel planned, and I'm going home for a visit in a couple of weeks to spend some time with my parents and my new baby half-brother, things are going nice and smoothly. I can't think of anything that could be horribly wrong, everything seems to be working out quite well. I don't even have anything gnawing away at the back of my mind that I'm trying to ignore, my mind and conscience are clear. I just can't sleep.

So aside from figuring out what the hell is wrong with me this time around, does anyone out there have any tips for insomnia?? Anything tried and true methods of getting to sleep?? I've tried counting sheep, it doesn't help, it just makes me bored and then I lose count and just give up. I've tried getting up and doing something for a while, then going back to bed, but that never works, either. I've tried listening to some nice, quiet, relaxing music at bedtime, but that doesn't work. I've tried reading in bed, to help me relax, but it doesn't work. I've tried everything I can possible think of, so now I need some suggestions.

So, oh wise JWD posters, what do you recommend??

-Becka :)

Super_Becka

Posts by Super_Becka