Cool! I've got a great story too!!
So....half way through child number 7 the missus books me into some rural vet masquerading as a part time surgeon. I kind of think it's a sensible idea.
So I give myself a Brazilian in the shower that morning and reacquaint myself with my exquisitely sensitive testicles.
Drive about 60 km to the quack. He squints and prods at my nuts and then grunts and says lie on the bed/table. He says "Don't bother taking off your shoes we wont be here long. Just pull your pants down to your ankles"
He and the, fortunately, unattractive nurse scrub up and put their masks on. "O.K." he says, "This will JUST feel like you've been kicked in the nuts" (and sticks a huge hollow piece of metal in my soft, warm vas.)@#$% ME GENTLY!!!!Did it what! But I felt it numbing up and tried to relax a bit. And then he says,"Now the other one" Sweet Baby Jesus!! I've got TWO!!??.
Now I didn't realise but not all people can be anaesthetised all the time. Turns out I'm one of them.
My right vas wouldn't numb up. The guy looks at me hyperventilating, sweating, bulging veins and asks, "Does that still hurt?" I don't need to answer as the nurse sticks a paper bag over my face and says "Breathe"
The sadistic bastard keeps poking his bloody needle in my ball sac. Nothing but pain and terror. "Sorry, but I'll just have to carry on" he says.
So I get a vasectomy with only half the pain relief. He whacks of about 1 cm of each of my vas's and sticks them in a pot and shows me. "Look what I caught!" They look like baby crab sticks!
I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED SUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!! And unlike my wife I would never go back every couple of years to have another vasectomy.
I know that my testicles are connected to my eyes.
Best wishes,
Pete
bigmouth
JoinedPosts by bigmouth
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43
Vasectomy Horror Stories- Have Any? Or Normal Vasectomy Stories ?
by flipper inwell, i know you all pretty well now after 9 months of being on board , so i feel o.k.
to approach this subject.
this subject is a pretty touchy one for most of us men, especially those of us that have been put under the " knife" , and got to the point where we did not want any more children.
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bigmouth
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42
What are some J.W buzz words you hope to never hear again??
by karter inthe elders will sort it out aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg.
we realy do like field service.
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bigmouth
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/108646/1.ashx
Re: happifying. If you go to this comprehensive post you'll find others that remember 'happifying'.
I recall it was a word beloved by some WT writer.
Cheers,
Peter -
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2008 study WT will be confiscated from non-publishers
by mac n cheese inthe literature servant told me that their instructions are to only give one study wt per publisher starting with the january 1st, 2008 issue.
under no circumstances are they to provide any other copies (if lost or whatever, much like kms are provided now).
any guests attending the wt study will be provided a copy, but then the servant who gave them the copy must confiscate it after the meeting.
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bigmouth
My return visitor hand delivered both editions to me. I haven't been near a hall in years.
And I don't doubt that mac n cheese related the story truthfully. The lit. servant must have had a power surge. -
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I was part of a strange little group...now more so...littler and stranger
by oompa inhave you ever wished we were more mainstream?
it was weird enough being a dub, but they were a decent sized group.
i could get laid in most halls i visited, plus there was communinty.
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bigmouth
Nah, JWD's too big now. I'm gonna join up with OBVES.
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JW e-mail going around (gag warning)
by alamb ina different congregationthrough all my years as a witness, the times past were not always good.. too many mistakes were being made, brothers not doing what they should.as i look back now, there are times, i can recall,when i didn't look forward to going to the kingdom hall.
the brothers showed no love.
they didn't seem to care.the elders were unyielding, demanding and unfair.meetings were dull and boring.
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bigmouth
This drivel fits the Watchtower technique of subtly implying we are individually valueless.
Any dissatisfaction is entirely your fault.
It's a wonder more Witnesses with low self esteem and depression don't just give up now and top themselves. -
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What are some J.W buzz words you hope to never hear again??
by karter inthe elders will sort it out aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg.
we realy do like field service.
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bigmouth
"All right minded people......"
Bountiful spiritual provisions.
Fleshly.
Happifying.
Timely.
Marriage / Elder / some other 'arrangement'
Fine, upstanding.....
Do we not...... -
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Kingdumb maladies gone bad ... er, I mean worse
by Frequent_Fader_Miles inlet's face it, those kindumb songs aren't award-winning compositions.
at one of my former congos, for the dedication of the kingdom hall, the elders decided to form a choir.
congregation secretary conductor stood there waving a broken radio antenna wildly in front of the group as they assaulted our ears!
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bigmouth
One of my old congs. had a small KH (Waiheke Island). We had a piano played by a feeble old biddy or my mother who had a rudimentry ability with the damn thing. And a brother who played an alto sax in the Glenn Miller style. When he got testifying on that horn you couldn't hear the racket from the twenty or so there. Actually you were deaf for half an hour.
By contrast, in Hamilton, we had a brother who was a concert pianist. That man was spectacular on the ivories. He always played the songs unaccompanied and most of us just shut up and listened. How he made the Kingdum Maladies sound so good I'll never know. -
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Yay! first post ever!!
by Matilda Wormwood inmy name is matilda, and i just started a jwd account.
i know some other posters- rollerdave, my uncle, gopher (he visits roller), and my mom, my own soul.
since she's making a record in delaying posting because she wants to write a novel, i thought i'd get in here and start.
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bigmouth
"I'm learning sign language and trying to learn Japanese"
That's excellent Matilda! When you become more proficient the Society will be able to send you where the need is greater. (ask rollerdave)
Don't let anyone try and 'waltz' with you.
Welcome
Pete -
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American Class Structures. How Does That Work?
by bigmouth insave my soul made a comment in his current thread that interested me: .
"he said he had never met a black man of his class in his small town.
" - this was said to him by a white man.
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bigmouth
Would I be right in saying that Dr Phil is representative of a respectable southern gentleman. Even from NZ I can pick his accent!
To jgnat, can you explain what the 'native' people are in Canada. I imagine it's the Indian or Innuit maybe.
The more I read your comments I see the difficulties you have to deal with in society. Obviously it's not just black versus white but the legacy of prejudice taught from colonial times. Add to that the rapid influx of poor foreigners looking for work and being prepared to do anything that others wont.
FHN, that's pretty sad about nurses. Our nurses here are not paid particularly well but they do have a lot of status.Sadly, many leave for overseas after graduating leaving us perpetually understaffed and overworked.
Tradespeople are also highly valued. Plumbers, mechanics and builders. With the exception of IT people, the academics are kind of sniggered at as being a bit sad! -
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American Class Structures. How Does That Work?
by bigmouth insave my soul made a comment in his current thread that interested me: .
"he said he had never met a black man of his class in his small town.
" - this was said to him by a white man.
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bigmouth
Thanks darkuncle. I know this is a dig at elders who are generally unqualified to counsel people that should be given professional help. But clarify this for me; "uneducated (secondary or post sec) ". Does this mean that in American society a person who has left secondary school (age 18 / 19 ?) is considered uneducated? Not sure if our terminology matches in our two countries.