elliej

Joined

• started 8 topics
• posted 132 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by elliej

• 
  49

  Make yourself a "mini me"

  by damselfly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found the coolest site this morning to make a cartoon version of yourself.

  http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.php .

  give it a try!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  Oh man, this is the last thing I needed to find today. Now I won't get anything done!
• 
  45

  id JWs RIP you OFF in the MARRIAGE Dept.?

  by Ms. Whip in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this photo (taken from a jw group on aol) is quite typical of jw marriage matches.

  don't get me wrong, i'm sure they are great people as far as jws go.

  but, it made me think.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  My husbands uncle did just the opposite and tried to encourage his sons NOT to get married, better to wait until the new system and bag one of those beautiful old testament virgins. None of the sisters in our hall were good enough I guess.
• 
  20

  To disassociate or not?

  by elliej in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  late last year my husband and i, with our children, moved to a new state and decided to leave the organization after much research and soul searching.

  our intent was to just fade quietly away in order to maintain certain family relationships, but thanks to a couple of militant dubs who were assigned to find out what was going on with us, we were outed.

  even though we haven't made any comments other than that there are certain things we don't agree with, we have been completely shunned.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  This is exactly how I felt back in 2002. For me, DA'ing was an important symbolic act. Wiping the slate clean, severing all ties. If this is your intention, then I think it's a good idea.

  I think this is exactly how I feel. When I was first studying with the JW's they told me that I had to write to the Catholic Church and tell them that I wanted to be removed from their membership rolls. Whatever. At the time, I thought that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard, and while I told them that I did it, I really didn't. I just admitted that to my husband and he was shocked!

  Now I don't think its so dumb. And if it makes things worse, well I doubt they could really say too much worse than they have been. Unfortunately, it is part of my husbands family who have said the worst. Seems they have been waiting a long time to cast me in a pretty bad light.
• 
  20

  To disassociate or not?

  by elliej in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  late last year my husband and i, with our children, moved to a new state and decided to leave the organization after much research and soul searching.

  our intent was to just fade quietly away in order to maintain certain family relationships, but thanks to a couple of militant dubs who were assigned to find out what was going on with us, we were outed.

  even though we haven't made any comments other than that there are certain things we don't agree with, we have been completely shunned.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  Wifey and I have not Da'd yet - but know that may happen someday, only because I refuse to let them Df me without a word. So far I am playing a game of cat and mouse with the elders. Looks like about every three or four months they make a stab at trying to get me corraled for a 'little conversation'. I have just avoided them to date.

  Jeff, I don't want to let them DF me, but since we are in another state, they can't really try to contact me either, can they? Would they announce that we are no longer JW's without even talking to us first? Would they do that just based on rumors? I would love to have a JC just to get some of this crap out in the open, but I don't get that confrontation with them because of my distance. I hate that they can talk about us and we don't get a voice. I guess I shouldn't let their games get to me though, huh?

  I also like the idea of writing to the local paper, but I doubt it would be published. Maybe it's worth a try, thanks for that link. I would hate to write letters to individuals because I don't want to prove them right that I am an evil apostate out to damage their precious organization. I need a more subtle way to get the word out.

  I guess my biggest problem is just that I can't stand the idea of being associated in any way with the Watchtower Society. At all. I just wonder if disassociating myself is worth the trouble. Thanks for all your replies.
• 
  20

  To disassociate or not?

  by elliej in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  late last year my husband and i, with our children, moved to a new state and decided to leave the organization after much research and soul searching.

  our intent was to just fade quietly away in order to maintain certain family relationships, but thanks to a couple of militant dubs who were assigned to find out what was going on with us, we were outed.

  even though we haven't made any comments other than that there are certain things we don't agree with, we have been completely shunned.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  Late last year my husband and I, with our children, moved to a new state and decided to leave the organization after much research and soul searching. Our intent was to just fade quietly away in order to maintain certain family relationships, but thanks to a couple of militant dubs who were assigned to find out what was going on with us, we were outed. Even though we haven't made any comments other than that there are certain things we don't agree with, we have been completely shunned. If that was not enough, we have also been slandered and gossipped about.

  More and more I have the desire to write a DA letter to my former congregation. I don't want to be associated in any way with that organization, and I would like to tell them why. Since my fade has been unsuccessful and I am being shunned and demonized anyway, is there any reason I shouldn't DA? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie? Any advice would be appreciated.
• 
  82

  Latest News In JW Sex Scandal

  by Kenneson in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  it's the top news at http://wcbstv.com/topstories/local_story_178173758.html .

  see "boy in minister sex scandal speaks to cbs.

  investigators compiling mountain of evidence against suspect.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  What I am missing in all of these news reports is some kind of a reference to the accusations that the WTS harbors pedophiles, like noting the Dateline program, so that people don't just think that it is isolated, they see that there have been accusations in the past. Where theres smoke theres fire, right?
• 
  17

  How Does Having Been A Jehovah's Witness Have An Impact On Your Life?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me, on the positive side, having some religious training did keep me out of trouble growing up.

  now, on the other hand.....

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  I have a hard time making friends. I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I never fit into the cliques in the hall, I found out early that I had to stunt my sense of humor because all the sisters took everything so literally. I fit in better with the men, but, of course, that was frowned on. I learned to keep my mouth shut and nod in agreement to everything that was said. I didn't dare bring any interests up because they were not theocratic enough. the result is that I am a social retard. I have a hard time starting conversations because I am so used to being negatively judged. i have a hard time jumping into conversations because I feel like I don't belong (or am not welcome). I probably come off as reserved or cold when I would give anything to just be included.
• 
  12

  Disturbing illustrations

  by Fleshybirdfodder in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've heard this illustration several times in varying formats.

  to encapsulate: a man works at a railway bridge and is in charge of switching the tracks so that the train can successfully cross the river.

  he sees his son playing on the bridge just as the train is coming.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  A sister in my car group read this glurge to us one sunny Saturday morning. I have never been so turned off in my life. It was one of the last times I ever went out in service.
• 
  15

  Introduce Independent Thinking by Family Bible Study

  by jgnat in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  one tried and tested method for a fading husband to bring his witness family out with him, is the family bible study.

  this method has the added benefit of being approved by the watchtower society.. .

  here's one: http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  Excellent! Thank you for posting this.
• 
  78

  This Past Sunday My Wife Took Me To The Elders- Part 2

  by enlightenedcynic in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  thanks for all of the kind words and advice, i appreciate it greatly and will look to use some of it.

  a special thank you to both cal and vitty for their pm's which gave me a different perspective to look from.. so the p.o.

  meets with us in one of the back rooms and my wife starts to speak.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  elliej

  Just my two cents, but, I agree with mkr3228 shower her with love and affection, really work on your relationship. For the time being, keep up the act. And Jgnat had a really good suggestion- start a family study designed to get them to THINK! I was able to convince my husband this was not The Truth by using their own literature against them. This might take a lot of time and planning, but maybe you can ask questions that don't make her suspicious but get her to see things from another angle. It's worth a try cause you will be saving your kids from the cult in the long run.

  As far as the sex thing, I'm sorry that she is using it against you to get what she wants, but neither of you should be using it as a weapon. If you feel like it, do it. It will only hurt your relationship to use it to get back at each other or blackmail each other into acting a certain way. Good luck, man, I hope it works out for you.