Posts by montana96

99

Many Questions

by urstruly in

hi i'm new to this forum.

i've looked at other websites to and i see all this about the jw's, now i'm not one, i was raised a jw but made my own decision and my parents respected that.

i've read so many horror stories, but my life wasn't like that at all, as a matter of fact, when they first knocked on our door and my mother accepted a study our life changed for ever, it was for the best in many ways.

montana96

Hello urstruly and welcome to the board.Im glad you can still have a good family life and obviously your parents seem very balanced and a happy one.

The reason why this site is needed and used frequently is because many have been bought up as a jws from birth or young children and when they have decided to leave it has been a painful one.The only people that can understand what you are going through are on this site. I have nice new friends I have met since leaving and they wouldnt have a clue how it feels to leave, why you dont have any friends from the religion that knew you all your life, and the emotions you go through.

My husband and I have good jobs a lovely home and raise our kids well. I thought only jws live like this because we are told the world is such a mess and I work in the medical field too and have seen some heartbreaks! But many of our new friends have good jobs nice children good morals, so where do they get these? From having good family upbringings and decent morals and knowing right and wrong.Believe me we have met our share of bad people both in out out of jws.

We still have contact with 2 of our jw friends the rest we dont see anymore and Im not complaining because when you leave you know the consequences of your actions. Its just a pity that JWs cant accept that we left because we no longer believed it to be the truth after much research,the gossip and lies told about us were horrendous to say the least. And we have been affected by the blood issue as well. My beloved father-in-law died a slow painful death after refusing treatment , and yes his decision. Its a shame he didnt have his accident now as the products he wasnt allowed to have back then he can have now, so maybe he would be alive today.

So everyone is faced with a choice, and should be allowed to express their views whether a person likes those views or not. We are all individuals and and from what Ive seen from all other religions many are controlling and everyone has their own rules and regulations, but JWs seem to be extreme in their views and enforcing them otherwise one wouldnt get disfellowshipped for questioning their religion would they.anyway all their best in your search for answers I hope you find them

Mercedes x

37

Help! My parents want to take my daughter to meetings!

by montana96 in

jw
friends

i have a problem that im hoping you can all help me with.. my daughter who is now 11 was devastated when we left.

she loved it, our fault we did everything by th book.

she wants to go to the meetings with my parents.

montana96

Thankyou all again, such good advice that I will take to heart and put into practice many things I have read. Kind regards to you all and thanks for listening

Mercedes x

41

What do you think they'd do if I did this at the Memorial?

by jwfacts in

this year was going to be the first time in my life that i did not attend the memorial.

but i just thought of something that i would love to try out for a stir.

what do you think would happen if i skulled the entire glass of wine?

montana96

Hi jwfacts you sound like you have an interesting story an why you left the truth, is their a link I can read on how and why you left? Thanks

Mercedes x

37

Help! My parents want to take my daughter to meetings!

by montana96 in

jw
friends

i have a problem that im hoping you can all help me with.. my daughter who is now 11 was devastated when we left.

she loved it, our fault we did everything by th book.

she wants to go to the meetings with my parents.

montana96

Thanks david-10. I felt that maybe it would be ok to let her go on Sundays as well but then where do you draw the line. My parents became JW because they felt it was the truth so all us 3 girls had to go as well,very tough when you are a teenager. But my parents thought they were doing the right thing for us even though my sisters and I have all left.

Therefore as a parent who no longer thinks the JW are right, I think i am doing whats best for our daughter now and if she say got to 16 or older and wanted to have a good look at being a jw, I would let her but alson show her the things that I know and why we left. Then I feel she is old enough to make an informed choice, not something she is made to do. When she is older she may understand more the implications of being a jw as well. I hope this makes sense?

Thanks for comments.

Mercedes x

37

Help! My parents want to take my daughter to meetings!

by montana96 in

jw
friends

i have a problem that im hoping you can all help me with.. my daughter who is now 11 was devastated when we left.

she loved it, our fault we did everything by th book.

she wants to go to the meetings with my parents.

montana96

Thankyou Monkey Princess i appreciate your advice. We have started to do fun things on a Sunday and it has worked. I know it is going to come to a head with my parents, I can feel them getting irritated every time I say no so I will have to prepare my answer well and its true she is our daughter and we need to raise her the way we see fit.

Thanks for comments

Mercedes x

25

They have started to shun my JW wife!

by jwfacts in

my poor wife has been quite stressed knowing what to do with her life.

she has never been intellectually interested enough to study whether the wts is the truth, just went because it seemed the best way of life and her family and friends are in it.

when i stopped going she did not know what to do wanting to keep both me and the congregation happy, and becamed fairly irregular at meetings and field service.

montana96

This happened for a little while with myself and I husband. I did all the research that led us out and he just listened to what I had found out. For a while he kept going but his heart wasnt in it. Once the doubts were ther it was just a matter of time. What your wife is experiencing is not uncommon amongst JWs because I have done it as well. When a partner leaves and 1 remains you treat them differently,not sure what to say or do. Your wife is in no mans land and eventually she will probably stop going once you show her how much you are enjoying not being at the meetings and how less stressed you are because their is no pressure from being a JW.

All the best and hi from sunny NSW

Mercedes x

11

Wow, did it feel good.......................

by BLISSISIGNORANCE in

.................to be standing on the other side of the door on a saturday morning.. it happened today.

i had gone to the markets early and when i got home i wandered across the road to my neighbour's house to have my hair coloured.

she's a frustrated hairdresser and a friend.. as usual we chatted as she prepares the colour.

montana96

I t does feel good to be on the other side of the door doesnt it?

I bet they were just jealous because you looked pretty relaxed and enjoying your saturday morning. We love our weekends now and every now and again when a jw does pop in we are usually just relaxing after a lovely breakfast or heading to the beach down the road.

Can I ask what happened to your daughter and is that the reason you left? Greetings fro oz land as well.

Mercedes x

37

Help! My parents want to take my daughter to meetings!

by montana96 in

jw
friends

i have a problem that im hoping you can all help me with.. my daughter who is now 11 was devastated when we left.

she loved it, our fault we did everything by th book.

she wants to go to the meetings with my parents.

montana96

I have a problem that im hoping you can all help me with.

My daughter who is now 11 was devastated when we left. She loved it, our fault we did everything by th book. She wants to go to the meetings with my parents. We have occassionally let her go to Sundays meeting but then she started having nightmares and being totally miserable because we werent with her. This is the only thing my husband and I disagree on since we left. He thinks its ok for her to go, he reasons at least shes got a choice. I feel she is too young, we know its not the truth so why let her go. I have tried to reason with her but she doesnt really understand and its making her upset as well as pressure from my mum who is in my kids' ears behind my back.

What can I do, I have made up my mind not to let her go, but how do you explain this to your children when we have brought them up to think its the truth? All she thinks about is the paradise. Any suggestions I am grateful for.

Mercedes x

26

Double life, anyone??

by dinah in

how many of you lead double lives while growing up (especially those who grew up jw)?

in the last few days, it seems that bothers me about my adolescence.

i had to be one person for my mother, while still trying to be myself.

montana96

I led a double life right through my teenage years as did my husband, thats why I was attracted to him I knew he was a naughty boy!

I still to this day keep alot of things to myself, I dont discuss what I do with my Mum as she is still in truth and it seems to offend her when I do. So I will make sure my kids dont need to sneak around and hide things(although im sure they still will) but I also live with alot of guilt about those years and I dont want my kids to ever feel as we did growing up in the organization that destroys your childhhood and suppresses normal teenage emotions.

Mercedes x

48

Generation Change

by slugga in

i left the org slightly before the change in the "generation that was alive in 1914" thing was announced and wondered, what were peoples in the congregations reactions after this was announced and did it you notice people falling away because of it?

has it had a damaging effect?

montana96

My husband always said if they changed their minds on the generation he knew it wouldnt be the truth. I remember well old sisters crying because they really wanted to survive armageddon, they knew I think that they would probably die.

I dont remember many leaving over it but you could feel the change amongst the bros & sis. I think thats when alot more became depressed and downhearted because with the generation view you knew it would come in your lifetime.But with the knew change alot were left wandering. My husband knew then it was no longer the truth although it took us another few years to finally leave,we kept thinking it would get better!

Mercedes