just finished talking on the phone with my mom.
she filled me in with the latest about my old jw acquaintances from before i was df.
good.
Sass,
I'm looking forward the day I come off antidepressants for good. Anyways, it is amazing to live without fear and guilt. and that is how my life was on a day to day basis, even when I was in good standing. I don't ever want to forget that feeling, so I don't stop cherishing the freedom of mind, and the freedom to love that I have now.
Rowan
just finished talking on the phone with my mom.
she filled me in with the latest about my old jw acquaintances from before i was df.
good.
just finished talking on the phone with my mom. She filled me in with the latest about my old JW acquaintances from before I was DF.
1) brother bethelite from the the big city Bethel branch fighting depression, feelings of inadequacy and overweight (when I knew him, five years ago, he seemed fit and balanced, a "model bethelite"). He could not take Bethel anymore. He's seeking counseling. and trying to get off his arsenal of antidepressant drugs.
2)Brother elder xxx part of my dummy JC, recently DF for getting involved with a young woman, after being kicked out from his home by judicial order ( I mean the law of the country) for (verbal, I want to guess) abuse. The good news is: his son got into med school! yeah! that would had never happened had his dad been around in his household.
3)GOOD NEWS!!! Sister BRILLIANT got rejected from Bethel. She had tried hard to fit into the branch, offering translational and legal advise. good. they rejected her. now she won't have to be a janitor to prove herself. She got married to one top bethelite and found him a great job outside bethel. their loss.
4) brother xxxx 40 yo virgin, bethel elder (WOW, he finally achieved the ambition of his life) part of my JC, falling apart from neurosis. Harsher than ever on the flock.
My mother expressed her discomfort that after the way I had been raised I felt the way I did about the above facts:
brother # 1) I hope he sees the light about what WT is doing to its minions, breaks free, and gets a life. He is a good boy.
brother # 2) I feel bad for this victim of victims. and I am glad that his family is free of him.
sister # 3) Another bright intellect will not be wasted to the WT cold and discarding machinery.
and brother # 4)...He is a S...head and he deserves to feel as bad as he does. well, I kind of feel bad for him. Will he ever see the light? I think not. can I pray for him? I don't even know who to pray to anymore.
Every time I look into the eyes of a JW I see a story of lost, of tragedy. What did I do to deserve to be out of this? I broke their rules, and in that moment that defined me as a "bad person". These people's lives are totally screwed up and are going on for the worst because they try to do what they deem as right. It is SO sad, and it makes me angry. What if I had not gotten drunk that one fateful night and made out with this not free to be remarried guy? Would I still be there, following rules and trying to be a good dubbie? I am so thankful things happened the way they did for me, but what about the thousands trapped in the WT machinery? We just look and hope for the best.
Rowan
just curious as i had never really been a true jehovah witness.
i would think that you make friends and suddenly you don't exist.
i would think a board like this is a true godsend.
When I got DF, I agreed with them that I was the worst kind of sinner (mind you, I was DF for "loose conduct" and was dumb enaugh to go to the elders for it). Shunning made me feel like a non person. Like the pariah they made me believe I was. I took the strikes fully and willingly. My personality became pulp that year.
well, enaugh with the self pity... but the thing is that even now that I have rebuilt my life and have strong real friendships and success in the worldly world, I have huge selfesteem and confidence issues. On the other hand, I carry my war scars with pride, if I survived that, then I can do anything I want.
Rowan
just curious as i had never really been a true jehovah witness.
i would think that you make friends and suddenly you don't exist.
i would think a board like this is a true godsend.
Hemp Lover, what they did to you at your own mother's funeral was unspeakable. Where there any other non witnesses with you to witness that inhuman treatment?
The terrible thing is that that kind of behavior seems to be the rule, from what I have been reading here.
it is orlando bloom's birthday btw.....happy birthday orlie
but my darn mouse broke today
and now i am just starting to have a few drinks of rum...cheers all!
The morning was OK. Then I remembered it was Friday 13th and started making one stupid mistake after another. instead of leaving from work at five, I had to leave at half past seven. darn it.
sorry how long this is but i found the meeting very exciting.
the short version is i said directly that i do not believe in the wts, feel being d/f is unfair on my jw family so asked them to just leave me alone.
it didn't work.
Thank you so much for sharing this
i don't know if i could've 15 years ago because of having nowhere else to go, but now i know i couldn't stay.
what about you??
?
I have had access to the net for years, but never dared to llok up "apostate" sites. Only when I was ready and was shown the way I started looking up info.
my mom's got this pioneer sister friend who stays at our house every weekend (she stays in some remote town that's far away from the hall) and i go into my bathroom cabinet this morning and she used up half the bottle of daily oil control cream for my face i had in there.
i mean ladies, you already know how expensive those things are!
and i would always just use a pint size amount so the bottle was filled to capacity.
If half bottle was missing, may be she refilled a smaller container for herself.
i have been lurking in this site for more than three years now.
i want to thank the people who work to maintain this forum, for as in the the case of hundreds of others in need of help, this site has been key in my exit from the wt slavery and emotional recovery.
it was in this site that i learned about ray franz.
Wow! thank you all for your wellcome.
I was reinstated to the JW cult one week ago. so I am paranoid because I am not planning to go to a meeeting again, which makes me think that I will be under the radar for a while. so, I will try not to give specific details about myself.
long story short (I'll try, a last), spent first twenty something years of my life in the cult, fully immersed in it, judgedamental little snot. my father had the wisdom to encourage me to continue my education, which I did, and that made me a pariah in the eyes of many. but thanks to that, once I got my degree I fled to USA ( I was already DF) and started working in an internationally known institution which the WT quotes a lot, specially in the Awake magazine. The elders at my old congo were spitting lava about that. they had refused to reinstate me after I requested it,and since I was no longer under their control once I left my country, they charged against my parents, but that's another story.
I met Gerard at work, in the break room. He had spent so many years speaking english that all the attemps he made of speaking in our mother language were not very graceful. I am glad he was persistent, though ;)! We started dating, and fell in love. Gerry found out info, which I would not read at first, eventually did, and the rest is history. I have to add, I was a mess then. Fears, confusion, guilt and more fears. but here we are, and I feel oblied to say thank you to the free thinking community that has done so much for us.
Gary, all I know about my home country is that JWs are proliferating like mushrooms after the rain. and I agree with one of my favorites pieces of your wisdom: being reinstated sucks, because now they can talk to you.
Folks I love you all and truly respect you!
Rowan
i have been lurking in this site for more than three years now.
i want to thank the people who work to maintain this forum, for as in the the case of hundreds of others in need of help, this site has been key in my exit from the wt slavery and emotional recovery.
it was in this site that i learned about ray franz.
Hi,
I have been lurking in this site for more than three years now. I want to thank the people who work to maintain this forum, for as in the the case of hundreds of others in need of help, this site has been key in my exit from the WT slavery and emotional recovery.
It was in this site that I learned about Ray Franz. I so wanted to believe what was being said here, it had the ring of truth, and I was so hurt by my past as a JW, but of course, how could I believe what apostates had to say? COC was recommended so much, that I decided I wanted to read that book; from then on, my recovery started. I came back to the forum, to the Freeminds web site and read avidly as much as I could. When I found the Quotes site, I was already free from the claws of the WT, but man, was it funny to read all those excerpts written by the FDS under direction of the Holy Spirit. Ha!
It feels good to finally be able to express myself without fear. To think what it comes naturally to my mind without guilt and fear of a boogey man god looking down disapprovingly. I literally breathe better without the shadow of Armageddon in the peripheral vision field of my mind.
For that I have to say thanks to all the courageous people who step forward and made info available, for they have given us the chance to make an informed decision, and be free, should we choose to.
And to Gerard, thank you for believing I could break free, and thank you for being soooooo patient with me. You fed me when was hungry and you nurtured and healed me when I was ill. I love you.
Rowan
