rowan

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Posts by rowan

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  79

  My wife "Rowan" needs of your support too.

  by Gerard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife 'rowan' was born and raised a jw, her father being an elder -a very gentle loving person, but an elder.. some years ago, she was betrayed by a close friend, subjected to a jc and was disfellowshiped & shunned.

  the proceeding was completely void of mercy and love, it was much like a violation, a rape.

  finding herself df'd was of course terrifying, but the most disapointing outcome was that her father sided with the elders.. eventually she discovered through select books, articles and this board about the fear-driven mind control ways of her religion.

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  rowan

  Oh dear all, your response is overwheming, thank you all SO MUCH for supporting me in this way. well, you do know what it means to me and it makes me even more grateful.

  I am in a psychiatric ward right now. My parents don't know, they would get distressed and blame it on my "leaving the truth". How wonderful it is to be part of an online, ongoing supporting community. I feel lucky that I live in these times and have all these resources that allow us to communicate. you are my friends now, and how amazing is the love that is freely given to another human being, just because.

  I am taking my time reading each of your posts. every one is precius to me and helps me in my recovery. My brain is not functioning very well, so I am going slowly.

  Gerry, I love you. I can't count how many times this guy has literally saved my life.

  Finally, please excuse my addled brain, one of you said in a post something along the lines "I wish I could get these experiences and pain removed from my head". That's how I feel, so much anger and pain, bottled up. I have to learn to let go. Today in session they quoted: "Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past". and I want to forgive, or better said, let go.

  Thank you for the links, I will be reading that material too.

  love,

  Rowan
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  79

  My wife "Rowan" needs of your support too.

  by Gerard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife 'rowan' was born and raised a jw, her father being an elder -a very gentle loving person, but an elder.. some years ago, she was betrayed by a close friend, subjected to a jc and was disfellowshiped & shunned.

  the proceeding was completely void of mercy and love, it was much like a violation, a rape.

  finding herself df'd was of course terrifying, but the most disapointing outcome was that her father sided with the elders.. eventually she discovered through select books, articles and this board about the fear-driven mind control ways of her religion.

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  rowan

  thank you Gerry for posting this, and thank you all friends who are on the other side, underestanding what is going on.

  This morning I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. My confort zone all these years has been to numb my feelings and immerse myself in work. It is awkward and painful to face all these issues, another symptom of PTSD, and ironically a treatment in itself. I always related PTSD with war and plane crashes, I guess, Tall Penguin, that it might not be so rare among ex members of cults.

  Thank you so much for being on the other side. Gerry is a saint to put up with me. He also needs a lot of support right now. Thank you Tall Penguin for your PMs to Gerry, they are full of good insight.

  Rowan
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  47

  I Lost Everything Today

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear friends,.

  i just received a call from a concerned jw friend about what is going on behind my back.

  a dfd friend whom i've been supporting through his mental distress and suicidal tendencies has done me a very strange turn.

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  rowan

  deny, deny, deny. this is a DF person. sadly, from the borg point of view, that's lower than mildew. are you in good standing? be a major theocratic warrior and tell the elders in a judgedamental high pitched voice : "you know I would never contact a DF person. DF??? ppppfffff. what makes you think I would? I take good care of my spiritual health"

  did you send him handwritten material? was it dated? if, so, claim he/ she forged it.

  and always remember, you tried to do a loving thing.

  I hope this works right for you.

  rowan
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  21

  Can't you feel the love!!!!

  by kerj2leev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  got this poem sent to me and wanted to .

  since theres only one day, .

  and this is my day.

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  rowan

  gee, that was almost caricaturesc.
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  8

  My funny Memorial story...

  by nsrn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think i told this story last year on here, but it's worth repeating for a good laugh.. my last memorial i attended was with my daughter, who was about 5. i took her and went to please my parents, of course.

  my daughter went to church with me regularly and so i had done the intense 'instructions' enroute about not partaking, etc.

  i got more and more tense as we arrived and got out of the car.

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  rowan

  jiji that's funny. last time I went to the memorial I felt I was surrounded by pirhanias
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  108

  How Far Up The "Ranks" Did You Go In The Organization?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  at age 18, i was a regular pioneer.

  at 20, a ministerial servant.

  at 24 an elder.

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  rowan

  I got disfellowshipped... yeayyyyyyyyyyyy!
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  50

  Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39

  by Gregor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what a tragic life.

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  rowan

  This reminds me of '97 when Mother Theresa died a few weeks after Princess Diana. It was shocking what little publicity she got in contrast to the princess's death.
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  50

  Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39

  by Gregor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what a tragic life.

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  rowan

  When I heard of her death, the first thing I thought was that she OD'ed. and statistically, that is a strong possibility. but, is there a coroner's report confirming that?

  and however she died, I find it sad. just as I feel sad when I learn that somebody, famous or not, wasted their lives away and and died a "wasted death", or however you would put it, english is not my strenght.

  respectfully,

  Rowan
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  10

  Instances of JWs causing serious harm?

  by greendawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can you recall instances where the wts seriously damaged the emotional health or generally the life of other individuals or you?

  what i can recall are two young jws at the congo who had strict elder fathers and ended up suffering severe depression due to the many restrictions in their lives.

  growing up as a jw in a repressive and unloving environment is not easy.

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  rowan

  In every instance a youngster is DF'D. That individual most surely has no support or friends outside the Borg. The family will pressure for him/her going to the meetings and be subject to "the being flyed alive" shunning. His/her dignity shred. after two months of the announcement, he/she will have to sit through a 30 min "local needs" talk that will describe to a gleeful audience what his/her sins were, and in what order they happened, of course, no name given, but the glorius one on the platform will clarify in a high pitched voice "that there have been cases in the congregation...", and given the rumor mill, and that it was you that was DF'D two moths ago, no name given is superfluos.

  I used to have these dreams where I was naked and had people degrading me in front of an audience. I was totally exposed and uncapable of stopping the situation. It was not a "hot" dream, as an idiot once suggested, it was a dream of the situation, of the hopelessnes of it. Yes, everybody in the kingdom hall had a good look at my privates. that's how it felt.

  I am sorry is this is offensive or inappropiate. I am trying to tone it down. moderators, just edit whatever is necessary.

  and now, years later, I don't have these dreams anymore. but a part of me is dead, and I am dysfunctional.

  Thank you WTS. thank you elders. thank you parents of mine for choosing to side with the corporation instead of you child.

  This is just my story. multiply it by the thousands who get DF'D for acting upon their normal physiology and end up getting scarred for life.

  F**k you WT. I hate you.
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  13

  New Harry Potter Book Release Date!

  by cathyk in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  harry potter and the deathly hallows, the seventh and final installment in the series, will be released at 12:01 am on july 21, 2007. woo hoo!.

  cathy koenig.

  www.oldlighthousebooks.com.

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  rowan

  neat! I had resigned myself to wait until 2008.