Mary,
Thanks for sharing your story and welcome!
And welcome to BlindbutnowIsee!
Yaaay, new kids!!! Wanna sit with me at lunch, play with me at recess? Let's go grab the swings!!
Love,
~B.
Brigid
JoinedPosts by Brigid
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WELCOME BLINDBUTNOWISEE !
by juni inwelcome to the forum!
excellent first "thread" about jws and the use of blood.
it is amazing isn't it how they put out these "doctrines" and then give the disclaimer, " but do according to your conscience.
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Divorces...isn't that a "conditional" love?
by FreedomFrog ini just read the thread on how many jw's were in "happy" marriages and it got me thinking...there is so much divorces, so many families in and out of the org.
that break up over stupid stuff.
we complain how mothers/fathers/friends cut you off because of different beliefs.... wouldn't divorces also be on "conditional" love?
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Brigid
I am not sure that "unconditional" love exists in the sense that you're putting it forth. Daystar and I have discussed this. I think we come close. But we all have "expectations". We all have fear of loss. You can love someone and choose not to be with them because either you or they have evolved into a "different" entity than the one you fell in love with in the first place (like he might evolve into a couch sitting, beer drinking unemployed schlub LOL!). It does not decrease the love you feel for the person they are Now.
It is difficult to articulate. There is a difference between unconditional love; that connection you feel to another being at the soul level: That never changes, whether you are together or not. and good old committed marriage. No matter where your/their personal evolution takes you. You simply love them. You cannot help it--it flows from you freely once the well spring has been tapped. Does that require togetherness? Does it require "rules"? It is so beyond that which is perceived "good/evil". It is a state of being. You can choose to be with that person and that makes it all the more powerful but the love does not require it-it just is.
Now, most relationships (and up to this point in my life it has been all I've ever believed in) are business relationships with the added fluff of "romance". BTW, romantic love is a rather new invention to the human populace (and wildly popular here in the west) to further our pro-creative activities and perpetuate the human race with rules/boundaries that have served us well. The family unit is the most basic form of human government and it usually mirrors and ergo furthers the society it "lives" in. So, committment and behavior modification and rules and making people stick to it are good in those situations and you can have some semblence of romantic love on top of that but make no mistake, it is ultimately a business. Not bad, imo. I have cared deeply for and been a fantastic wife (one good thing I got from the witnesses was training on being a good wife) to a man that I did not necessarily love but we made good partners. We were friends/partners. And actually still run a business together; that of raising our son to maturity and an actual business. He and I both knew when we decided to get married (when I got pregnant) that it would very much be a business relationship. But there was romance and there was committment (still is in the raising of our son). Problem was, he wanted more. I wanted more ultimately. He developed emotional intimacies (that I did not care about) as did I, with other people. We talked about staying together (though we had lived in separate bedrooms for sometime) for the business end of it all--we have always been good partners. But decided not to. I actually think we would have stuck it out to our deaths do us parts except for the flaw of him treating my daughter like a piece of crap.
So, there is a difference between unconditional love (which is very rare in a non parental relationship) and good old committed marriages. One just is, the other serves a very utilitarian but not altogether unpleasant purpose.
You may find this book of interest: Getting the Love You Want http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Couples/dp/0805068953
I found some use as I slept in my bedroom and he slept in his and we were trying to keep things together. It helped me delve into all my unconscious drives and heal many of those. I only diverged when Hendrix speaks of finding what you're looking for in the other. I personally believe that the individual holds it within and the key is finding it within. But a good read nonetheless.
I hope you find what you need within and without....
Love and Light,
~Brigid
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How true it is - at least in my humble opinion!
by AK - Jeff inworld?
what about the president who took.
the president.
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Brigid
Very interesting food for thought. I totally agree with being in in a state of gratitude. I am grateful to have been born in the United States. I am grateful to be a woman here vs. the Middle East. That is my perspective so can only be taken for that. It is all I have ever known. Had I been born in the middle east, I would have a totally different pair of glasses with which I view the world (I would be grateful probably to live in a society where my sexuality is protected/covered by the paternal system from cradle to grave--whatever).
However, as thankful as I am, I do not agree that one cannot be grateful and at the same time looking for ways to improve (i.e., I love my job, am I looking for ways to improve both myself and my situation? Always!). I love (LOVE) my country. And yes, I am what most would consider at least a social liberal (though I do not believe the pundits' view on both sides that all Americans can be neatly placed in one camp or the other). Conservatives have brilliantly co-opted patriotism to the point that to even question the administration, the war, the voting system is anti-american. Is this really in the spirit of our founding fathers? They were the among the biggest dissidents, bratty complainers, rabble rousers, etc. Also, I do not possess the hubris to believe that my country is the end all, be all of human evolution. The thing that makes the United States so great is that we are allowed to question, to vote, yes to even bitch and moan when things could be better. And they always can (be better)
It really upsets me that people equate my political/religious beliefs with being somehow unpatriotic. When it seems to me that were I to be able to sit down and chat with our founding fathers, I would find far more in common with them where I'm at right now than many a conservative who would probably have the attitude of just being grateful to Great Britain and King George for all the protection it afforded to the "bratty" colonies during the Indian wars. "Shut up and sit down---Keep paying your taxes without question, and STOP writing negatively about King and Country!"
Just my two cents.
Brigid, the Patriotic
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Brigid
LOL!!
Peep: slang for People
DFW: Dallas Ft. Worth referring to the conglomerate of city/towns including Dallas/Ft.Worth and everything in between that have merged together.
Thanks everyone.
I'm feeling more hopeful now.
It was looking like one long summer there for a while. I need for her to LOVE DFW so my propoganda machine is on overdrive (stupid rain!!!)
LOL!
~B. -
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Brigid
BTW, she's beautiful!
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Brigid
Anony-mouse, 17? Are you male? In Dallas?
I guess if you're gay or horribly unattractive, you can hang out with her LOL!
If you're a girl, she's very mature for her age.
~B.
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Richie's Random Thoughts: Moral Ambiguity
by RichieRich inin high school, it was sad day when "beloved" by toni morrison hit my desk.
the book was thick and worn, with a bright purple cover that was sure to smile up at me mockingly from my bag whenever i looked in it.. the teacher who dropped it on my desk was a wise woman.
she was young, and had just finished her phd.
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Brigid
Richie Rich! You are so right on, my friend. And so young for such a profound realization. I struggled with whether or not there is pure evil or pure good in this existence for a long time. My summations thus far (though I'm still working on it) are thus:
We are pure potential good/evil/light/dark and every spectrum in between. And no, there are no strict boundaries. In fact, what if I were to tell you good/evil, light/dark are just the same things at their core....only "differing" in degrees not fundamentally.
I know it sounds crazy--Hey, blame it on the book Daystar and I are reading. You should see our little 2-person book club choices. We're like the perfect little witness couple reading and studying together....but they ain't no Watchtowers, lemme tell ya LOL!!
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Brigid
Quietly leaving, you are so welcome here. Glad you found us! warm yourself by our fires and stay a while.
You don't live in Dallas with teenagers, do you? LOL!!!
Love and Much Light to You,
~Brigid
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Brigid
*sigh* oh well....<innane post for shameless bump to 1st page>
what's a mother gonna do???
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Brigid
well now, that doesn't help me much LOL!!!
The reason I'm asking is that my 14 y.o. daughter is here with me for the summer and I'm looking for things for her to do (you know, besides hang out at my place with the pug all day while it rains cats and dogs, myspacing, watching cable, eating junk food!)
Anyway, if anyone catches this, has teens they're trying to entertain, lemme know!
Desperate in Dallas,
~Brigid