Posts by AudeSapere

75

JW family made contact....

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

.....after 8 years of us being disfellowshipped.

the made contact through my aunt who is still 'in' - as in she has faded but is not disfellowshipped and will pop to a meeting now and again - she does this for my grans' sake.. the contact was from my aunt and uncle (he's an elder) these were the 2 witnesses used against me in my judicial case.

they contacted my aunt and said to forward the message onto us.

AudeSapere

LouBelle wrote: ... They need to take the council of the scripture that states that the elder in the congregations have to be like fathers and husbunds to the orphands and widows, that they have to be the shelter from the sun and rain.....and have suggested that if they are so concerned about my grans' loneliness that they prepare one of their spare bedrooms for her - this will eliviate the cost of putting her in an expensive home.

Beautiful! Put it back in their court.

I am going thru something similar with my mother. I am not DF'd not DA'd but she told me and other non-active siblings that her family is her congregation. Now she is older and poorer (having spent her money on trips and early 'retirement') and wanting help from her kids. She leveraged my cancer treatment to get congregation support (she kept the cash). When I needed help getting to the emergency room when starting chemo, she could not help because it would make her late for a Bible Study. In my 20's hen I asked for a loan ($50 to get me thru til payday) she refused because I needed to learn how to manage my money.

Now she wants help because she needs a new car - or something. (I didn't pay attention to the details from my siblings.) I have no money to spare her. She can look to her congregation and reflect on her own words: Manage your money better. The cong is her family. Jehovah's will comes first.

The fact is, though, that her non-jw brother does have room for her. But I think that she doesn't want to be inconvenienced with a move.

Anyway, good for you, LouBell and your mom. Good response. I might be inclined to make a donation of time or money to you local Senior Concerns society - to help the general aging community. In memory of your gran who died 8 years ago.

-Aude.

39

Need Help - Parent in ICU

by AudeSapere in

df parent is in hospital icu and surgeon wants to give blood.

parent is df for almost 20 and firmly refused blood for personal reasons (spiritual).. .

my concern is that parent is taking strong stand based on outdated jw gb hlc guidelines.

AudeSapere

amos77 wrote: 30+ years ago, absolutely nothing from blood was permitted. This DF person, in my experience having been out for so long, is that unless DF people have been debriefed/deprogrammed in some way with regard to JW doctrines, they still hold to the same beliefs

Yes. This is what my parent's thought pattern was. And why I wanted to gently, but firmly explain that things have changed. Actually, I had begun the conversation about 6 months ago. Parent was holding firm to the absolutely No Blood Whatsoever rule, when infact the organization who taught that rule no longer believes it themselves.

And being DF'd does not necessarily mean a person is ungodly. Being depressed and DF'd, refusing blood could actually, in their mind, serve two purposes: (1) end their life and thus their depression, and (2) be one last loyal act to a god they feel has abandoned them along with the org that kicked them out 20 years ago.

I would like to add that my parent is healing nicely. And many of the comments here, along with the full printed copy of KerryLouderbeck's article, have created good topics for conversation with my parent and one sibling. Some exception was taken to some of Kerry's comments, but overall the article was well-received. And the best analogy from JWN comments? The Apple Pie analogy. It's been brought up a couple of times. Thank you all for all your comments. Everyone is greatly appreciated.

-Aude.

6

Great Meetup in Phoenix AZ yesterday!!

by Gayle in

about 28-30 of us there for two hours at the phoenix library.

alot of personal experiences of those being raised jws and experiencing shunning!

it was filmed but sensitivity was certainly given for those there, were several there, who could not be filmed because of jw family yet.

AudeSapere

I love that it was held at a library. Perfect setting. Will remember that for next meetup around here.

Will you post the film somewhere?

-Aude.

25

After 4 years..JWs knock on my door.

by Tylinbrando in

it was last weekend.

i was visited by 2 older jws that appeared to be elders.

first time in 4 years any of them have come to my door.

AudeSapere

Hamsterbait wrote: WHY NO BOOK BAGS OR BIBLES????

My last few months in service I did not carry a bookbag, just a bible. I just could not peddle magazines that I thought were wrong.

My dad often made RVs and shepharding calls with just a bible - and a compact one at that. He carried it in his pocket and took it out only when necessary. He felt that often the best shepharding was just to listen to people and let them talk. Then may close with parting scripture and a prayer.

Lack of bible and bookbag can mean something good. Or it could have been a baiting. But maybe not.

-Aude.

25

After 4 years..JWs knock on my door.

by Tylinbrando in

it was last weekend.

i was visited by 2 older jws that appeared to be elders.

first time in 4 years any of them have come to my door.

AudeSapere

My response disappeared...

Tylin wrote: Why are the words that came out of my mouth the only ones I could muster?

I think your response was perfect. According to your account, the one man responded with tears in his eyes. If you had given an angry response, he would likely have given the non-sympathetic, defensive response that he was programmed to to give by Brooklyn.

Instead, you touched the human side of this man and he responded as human. You let the the natural, compassionate personality come out.

Sounds to me like you did great. Nice job.

-Aude.

39

Need Help - Parent in ICU

by AudeSapere in

df parent is in hospital icu and surgeon wants to give blood.

parent is df for almost 20 and firmly refused blood for personal reasons (spiritual).. .

my concern is that parent is taking strong stand based on outdated jw gb hlc guidelines.

AudeSapere

@crmsicl - Thank you. I'm not certain that it was me that you met but I sure appreciate your response. I was at the first Tahoe-fest in 2008 and, unfortunately, have not been able attend since then.

But I *do* remember a very nice good-bye meal with a great and diverse group. I think SweetPea's dad was even there with us. Very fond memories.

-Aude.

9

I just want to say this forum is a minefeild of mind boggling information of facts and questions that no JW is ever going to receive at a Kingdom Hall

by smiddy in

i thank you for this site , and all the people who contribute to it with their knowledge and input into it.. subjects need to be discussed , and different ideas need to be considered , and debated .

that is healthy for the mind.. the wtb&ts dictates what their members are to beleive and no questioning is tolerated.

that is unhealthy to the mind.

AudeSapere

I prefer "Treasure trove" or "Gold Mine" of information.

But must agree with you. You will not learn how to think in a Kingdom Hall. You will not learn the truth about and behind 'The Truth' by talking to Jehovah's witnesses.

And there is more than just information here. There is also compassion, insight, and support.

-AudeSapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself.)

39

Need Help - Parent in ICU

by AudeSapere in

df parent is in hospital icu and surgeon wants to give blood.

parent is df for almost 20 and firmly refused blood for personal reasons (spiritual).. .

my concern is that parent is taking strong stand based on outdated jw gb hlc guidelines.

AudeSapere

Not sure if these pics will post or not. I just cut-and-pasted them...

These pics were taken from my house -

During the fire:

After the Fire:

39

Need Help - Parent in ICU

by AudeSapere in

df parent is in hospital icu and surgeon wants to give blood.

parent is df for almost 20 and firmly refused blood for personal reasons (spiritual).. .

my concern is that parent is taking strong stand based on outdated jw gb hlc guidelines.

AudeSapere

@Flipper's - Thank you for your thoughts. I was actually thinking that dad might enjoy talking to you as you have a few things in common. He has no one to talk to who can really understand what he is feeling. If you are open to a chat, let me know. I think he would enjoy the Tahoe 'fest but the car drive is not practical. And he's not a camper.

@Mary - Wow! I'm thrilled to see you here. And thank you so very much for the pm. Majorly helpful. I re-read some of the posts about your brother-in-law. While I followed them at the time, I had forgotten how incredibly gut-wrenching that entire situation was. My concerns are a fraction of what you were dealing with. Thank you for you work back then and for taking time to connect with me this week.

@Dagney - I got your text but only just now could respond. May we can do something next weekend or the one after that? Here, there, points in between???

@Scully - Awesome. and thank you for sending Mary.

@myelaine - Interesting. I had not really thought of that. I thought of something similar, but not the local HLC. Thank you for the suggestion.

To all who have inquired and shown concern: Dad is doing very well. A few set-backs this week but overall healing very well. Thank you for helping me help my dad. I don't come this board near as often as I used to. But is sure feels like 'home' once the posting starts. I love this place.

Oh! And as for the fires here. My poor, beautiful mountain is all charred. My house still smells like smoke and my lungs are a little tight but all is good. I don't know what happened to all the deer and rabbits and coyotes. It's been quieter than normal at night without the wildlife. My mountain has been my 'centering agent'. I love to take a few minutes and step outside and just stare at it, take a few deep breaths and just let go. When I did that on Sunday, the soot was still in the air. I gagged, coughed and then cried. My mountain is sick and it makes me sad. And my lemon tree is dead. The mountain will recover. The tree, I think it's a lost cause. Overall, it's been a challenging week.

I don't even want to talk about the nightmares at work. Suffice to say, I'm so happy it's Friday.

Good night and happy Friday to everyone.

-Aude.

39

Need Help - Parent in ICU

by AudeSapere in

df parent is in hospital icu and surgeon wants to give blood.

parent is df for almost 20 and firmly refused blood for personal reasons (spiritual).. .

my concern is that parent is taking strong stand based on outdated jw gb hlc guidelines.

AudeSapere

Scully - That analogy works perfect. Thank you.

And, I responded to your pm.

-Aude.