@LisaRose
Your words resonate with actually psychology on the matter.
The reason people often get into flame wars on the Internet or debates about religion in real life is because we are what we believe.
Our identity is wrapped up and supported by what we believe about the universe and our place in it. Any attack on this belief system is actually an attack on the individual's self (or at least their concept of what it means to be who they are). Naturally we would defend this, so part of the arguing in response is normal.
But more than often when people are taught to believe things about themselves that are not true or they do not truly believe, the individual may seek out opportunities to debate and engage in flame wars. This is actually arguing with one's self to convince the psyche that their new or current convictions about the universe and themselves in it are accurate (if I can argue them and "prove" them, then they are true).
The person who engages in this type of self-convicting arguemtation often doesn't know it. The signs that one is engaged in self-deception regarding their true motives in discussions can include some of the following:
1. Asking "innocent questions" only to attack and debate any comments that come from others as a result instead of showing a willingness to at least consider opposing views.
2. Claiming to engage in flame wars for fun or sport and nothing more.
3. Offering hateful and/or disrespectful speech instead of logic in replies (and being unable to tell the or admit that there is a difference).
4. Lengthy posts that consist of lengthy quotes from other sources in support of their views. (The type of lengthy post that does not draw you in and keep your attention, and is so lengthy only the author probably wants to read it.)
5. Believing other people really are interested in, care, and keeping up with what you are writing when in reality they are not.