having difficult time posting bigger picture currently, but here is my 1st profile picture, I am the one with the darker hair, or you can also see I am the shorter one.
Nikki
Nowman
JoinedPosts by Nowman
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111
Faces to Names
by Peaches-n-Cream inhey all...
so many of you have given me a great big welcome to the board.
do any of you have pictures you wouldn't mind posting so i can match some faces to your name?
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9
How 'diverse' is your life now?
by AK - Jeff inwhat have you done with your life, what friends have you made, what goals have you pursued, that were impossible to do as a witness?.
i know that in our case, we have few friends yet, due to spending most of the past few years 'healing' from the borg-torture.
i discuss politics and religion freely with many of them.
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Nowman
I feel my group of friends are the best friends I have ever had. They allow me to be me. I have a rebellious nature, I enjoy breaking some of the "rules". I think I have always been free spirited, but had to hold back in the org. When I left, I felt this was my best quality, and it was so wonderful to let my free spiritedness out, I did not have to hide it anymore.
I have an awesome "worldly" husband . I have two great kids that do not have to be raised in that org. Everything I do in my life since being out of the org, always feels like a change or step...I like it.
I could go on and on.
Nikki
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34
What's You're Musical Time Line...
by OpenFireGlass inbirth - 6 y.o.
: john denver, waylon jennings(dukes of hazzard theme song), etc.... 6 y.o.
: (started grade school... heard new stuff) joan jett & the blackhearts, & (can't remember the artist but the song was:) pac-man fever... and so on... 9 - 10 y.o.
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Nowman
0-14, whatever my parents allowed me to listen too, but back in the early 80s, I love Dr. Hook, "Sharin the night together", I still love this soong!
15-17, a range...hip hop, Harry Connick Jr., Natilie Cole, and whatever my parents allowed me to listen to
19-23, greatful dead (was at Jerry Garcia's last concert at Soldier Field, I passed out, they put me in the front row!), Bob Marley, Blues Traveler....was in Colorado part of this period too...
24-now (32), a little of everything, I still love the Dead, Bob Marley, Will Downing, Kenny Chesney, Joss Stone, Corrine Bailey Rae (her CD is awesome!), Rascal Flats, Alicia Keys, some hip hop, Michael B. (last name pronounced BOO-BLAE)....so much! I love music period!
Nikki
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My shunning mother called me....accidently
by restrangled inthis was such a sad exhange and just shows how unnatural this bogus rule by the wbts is.. i see my moms name on the caller id and i immediately pick up.
(keep in mind we live 2 blocks apart).
my mom says julia?, and i say no mom its me, you must have dialed the wrong number.. mom: oh, i'm sorry, how are you?
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Nowman
I really understand this type of thing as far as how you feel. Back in 1998, after 6 years of not seeing my mom...she calls me out of the blue and tells me that she wants me to come visit her in Arizona, she was still a witness but having some marital problems with my dad. He wasn't going to be there for this long weekend. It was like a dream come true. She even bought me tickets! I was at work the day she called and left me a message stating that she cancelled the trip for me to come, she just felt too gulity about having me there because I was DFd. I WAS DEVESTATED. It hurt me so bad. I showed up to work the next day, and everyone was wondering what I was doing there, I told them. They all left me alone, but had flowers sent. They all knew (small office) how excited I was. I think they cried too. Very tough.
Happy ending though, 2 years later, my mom came to her senses and we reunited in 2000, and have been mom and daughter ever since. She has been DFd. She pays the price of guilt (she does it to hereself) because of the shunning being done towards me for 8 years. I am thankful now.
I am sorry you had to deal with that from your mom, I know it hurts. I hope she comes around.
Nikki
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86
Just for fun: Help me name my dog??
by whyizit injust adopted a collie mix from the pound.
4 yrs.
old and has had about as many litters of puppies, from the looks of her.
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Nowman
I have another one....this is good.....GIGI (Gee-Gee)
Nikki
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86
Just for fun: Help me name my dog??
by whyizit injust adopted a collie mix from the pound.
4 yrs.
old and has had about as many litters of puppies, from the looks of her.
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Nowman
I have a Westie, we named him Kasper (like the ghost) because hes white, I love him to pieces....Here are some ideas:
Joss Kiera
Lucy Reese
Kisses Macy
Scarlett Georgie Girl
Riley Hanna
Have fun! ***Nikki***
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Questions for those born or raised in the truth
by The wanderer inraised in the organization
"for those not born into the organization .
not having been born into the organization i believe.
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Nowman
I hated being a JW and put on an act from the age of 9-17. It appeared I was the good JW daughter of an elder and pioneer, but inside I dreamed of leaving and I did alot of things behind my parents back. To make something clear, when I look back, I was not a bad kid. The things I did behind my parents back had nothing to do with sex or drugs, I just wanted to normal kid stuff. At first, I was allowed to hang out with kids from school, but as I got older, those ties were cut off by my parents. I was not allowed to hang out with certain kids at the KH, in the org.
They were so strict, I never felt that I could stand up to them. I was beaten until I was almost 17 years old. What was I beat for? Or had 8 inches cut off my hair because my mother wanted to show me some humility? Because I took clothes my parents bought me and hid them in my school bag, and changed at school. A JW told on me, that I went to school with, a year later he murdered his parents. There was no comfort during my teens, just 100% lack of understanding.
I also had to sit between my parents at meetings. I felt smothered 100% during my teens. I finally decided to be a good JW to avoid the grief and humiliation. Then I made my plan to escape, I left on a Monday while I was a regular pioneer, went out in service all day, said "see you at home, mom", and I never went back. Sure, my parents had me come meet with them, but I sat there in the middle of the night for 3 hours listening to them share scriptures from the bible while I sat there in silence. I felt very sorry for them and despite what they put me through, I still loved them. But, I had to leave in a cold way otherwise I would have given into them. That was the only time I ever stood up to them, that is why it was probably so shocking, I never felt I could talk to them about how I felt. When I tried, I was just beat down.
The good news is, my mom is no longer a JW, we did not see or speak to each other for 8 years, I am so thankful to have her back in my life. I feel bad for her, because when we talk, I can hear the guilt in her voice, and I always tell her, its OK, the past was the past. As for my father, he is still a die hard JW, have not spoke with him since Oct 1992, and I wonder if he will look back on his life and wonder if it was fulfilling? Dad, you go ahead and keep living that life, I want no part of it. Frankly, I think this org made you mentally ill.
Nikki
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Nowman
Well, back in 1990, this kid murdered his parents at our hall. Dad was our bookstudy conductor, and both mom and dad were friends with my parents. I have mentioned this on the board before, my parents found the bodies, they lived 2 blocks from us. Anyway, I thought it was interesting, on the Tuesday following the funeral, an elder announced that Willie such and such has been disfellowshipped, I remember thinking, DUH!
Nikki
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40
Entertaining yourself during the meetings
by Mysterious inwhat did you do to entertain yourself during the meetings?
i always had little games i played.
to this day i have a fascination with notebooks and write almost compulsively when something is wrong.
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Nowman
I would daydream about leaving the org and all the things I would do
I would daydream about boys
If I had a crush on a boy at the hall, I would stare at him and keep looking hopefully when he wasn't looking
I couldn't write anything down or doodle because I SAT BETWEEN MY PARENTS!
But if I decided to be a good JW daughter that particular day, I would pay attention
Nikki
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31
No to soaps.
by Moomin induring the time leading up to my baptism and even more so afterwards, my study conductor and her friend were always telling me how i shouldn't be watching the soaps.
(i had mentioned to them at some point how i enjoy watching emmerdale and coronation street).
they described them as being unwholesome and encouraging of immoral ways.
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Nowman
Back in 1990, after my freshman year of HS, my parents took me out of public school and had me take homeschool. So, my parents would be gone during the day, and at 11:00am, I would watch Days of Our Lives, I was addicted. My parents never found out. I don't watch them anymore though, but when I did watch them, I was obsessed. Come to think of it, when 90210 came out, I was addicted to that show too, which was a soap opera. I actually named my Dylan, after Dylan Mckay, Ha!
Nikki