Nowman

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Posts by Nowman

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  63

  3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

  by The Scotsman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.

  i noticed that she was not in bed.

  i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!

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  Nowman

  Scotsman,

  Your wife is going through a difficult time as you know. I do not know your history, but if you stepped down from being an elder 6 months ago, its still pretty new and heartbreaking for your wife. As as we know from our experience, it can be hard on a marriage when something like this happens. It doesn't make it right, but your wife has not come to her senses yet about the org, perhaps she might never.

  Only time will tell what the final outcome will be. You will need more time to support her and stand your ground, no matter what! Just like she will hopefully stand up for what is right, you will stand up for what is right too! It will continue to be tough, no doubt about it.

  Nikki
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  34

  Going to the Prom not allowed as a JW

  by odie67 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i didnt go to my prom because it was not allowed.

  i didnt even bother to ask.

  i don't regret it alot, but it would be nice to have a picture or two for memory sake.

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  Nowman

  Yep I was not allowed either. I always wanted to go but as I got older, I just never acted like I wanted to either. Reason being, in 7th grade, I snuck to a social hour, told my parents I felt like getting dressed up. Well, somehow my parents found out, because when I got home, all hell broke loose, you know the big ole paddle waiting for my butt. I was in 7th grade, how humiliating.
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  11

  It's always the parents fault

  by Burger Time in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i am sure this topic has been covered but i was thinking about it today.

  how parents have it about the worse in the org.

  for any of us that have publicly left or spoken out against the wts with our parents the reaction is almost always the same, "i have failed as a parent".

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  Nowman

  I could blame my parents, but I do think they they thought they were doing the right thing at the time.

  Unfortuantely, years later, my perception of my mom is that she does not want to be around me and her grandchildren because of her guilt. I just do not want to find out the truth, I do not want to be right about my feeling, so I don't ask her.

  Nikki
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  17

  Is Windows Something That You Do Do?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear squeaky-clean friends:.

  i am an artist and a teacher, which pay to keep me in window washing, my real love.

  the jobs are sure rolling in.

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  Nowman

  My husband just left Pella Windows after 12 years because Marvin Windows wanted him, this count?

  Nikki
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  18

  Do you change your mind easily?

  by nicolaou in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  as ex-jw's we've all cleary changed our minds about what 'the truth' is but do you think you could make another big change like that again?

  i honestly cannot see myself changing my mind about the non-existence of god and the supernatural - but hey, i was just as dogmatic in my jw days that those things were real!

  i guess anything is possible but it feels as though with every passing year my options for change are reduced.

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  Nowman

  Yes. Used to be worse, but I attribute it to being younger.

  I never thought I would feel like I did after leaving the JWs, leaving the cult thing. But, in life, I have realized that there are other cult tendencies (someone said this to me recently too, gotta give some credit to him), for example, when you leave a job of ten years, and go to a similiar job where you will be able to apply the knowlege etc, I realized I had a cult mind, I couldn't let go of what I used to do a certain way....Had to readjust my thinking.

  Hey, in the end, its OK to change your mind.
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  63

  I know my favorite dream job - what's yours?

  by wings in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  food critic for a gormet magazine.

  movie critic....i'd be good at that.

  travel book writer.....i should move that to the top.

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  Nowman

  I too have always wanted to be an actress, or dancer, or singer, or comedian! Doesn't mean I can't...so I somewhat do it through my kids. I sing, act, say goofy things, all the time and I am damn proud of it! I say things for shock value all the time. I sing in my car, all the time! I sing at work, I know they can hear me next door! I ask my kids to play pre-tend American Idol, just in case there is some agent in my house hiding!

  Another way I am fulfilling my dream, is I dance to Dance DVD's in my L.R. every am, I think I have done one of them 92 times since 1/1/08! (I will let you in on a little secret, its old school hip hop, fun stuff).

  Sure, there is a bit of sarcasm above, but in all reality, it truly lifts my spirits!
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  48

  True friends

  by R.Crusoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you feel any?.

  does your whole world have any?.

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  Nowman

  True friends? I do not feel I have any "true" girlfriends even though I was POA for their children, or I gave 100% for them, I took the good with the bad, for 10 years! Never in a million would I have thought I would feel the way I do these days, I feel so f'd over. Never thought it would happen to happy me. Well, it did.

  On a positive note, because I refuse to be bitter even though I have every right to be F-ing bitter ....that was hypocritical!

  As I have said before, I will stand tall. What helps me during this time, is realizing that this is a "time period" that I just need to get through, its not tragic. But, when you feel so hurt inside because you never realized or even thought that things would play out the way they do, how do you NOT feel bad?

  Maybe its a sign that I deserve better friends, maybe this was bound to happen anyway, either way it still hurts. But, this will NOT last forever!
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  42

  Knocking on the Doors of Classmates out in service

  by new light in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  could anything have been more embarrassing?

  you could be at the door of the least popular munger in school, but overwhelmed with envy because, hey, at least he was doing something normal.

  in 8th grade, at the peak of childhood self-consciousness, i knocked on the door of a super popular, rich, "in" kid from my class and he answered the door.

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  Nowman

  I think I am still not over this....

  I went to so many different schools but from 6th grade up until my freshman year of highschool was all with the same kids. I had not told everyone about me being a JW at 1st and I was not planning on it either. All except for the one day I was going door to door in my territory where I lived, and came upon a house where Ricki and Nicki (twins) lived. They both came to the door, and after that I was called Jehovah (amongst other things) until highschool when they were not so cool anymore. I remember thinking, all that torment from you two, and your not so tuff anymore? They were so cruel about it!

  I do not think about it anymore, but when I went through it, while at the same time being a teenager, I felt the world would end! Brings back memories!
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  10

  Am I the kid around here?

  by DoomVoyager in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  seems i'm the youngest regular poster by a couple of years at least..

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  Nowman

  Nothing like making me feel old by starting this thread You will be older some day, darnit!

  Nikki
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  9

  Lil sister just called..

  by *Incubus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just got off the phone with firefox.she wanted to tell me she wouldnt be calling me anymore.her boyfriend has her convinced that she should stay a witness "just in case".. i told her that i loved her whether she was a witness or not.im always here for her.i cant and wont judge her.ever.. she hung up on me crying.. .

  damn it!.

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  Nowman

  Hang in there! I know it is so hard...

  I have posted this note a long time ago, back in 99 I think, my mom contacted me after 7 years of not seeing each other, she wanted to see me so bad, little did I know that my dad had a huge problem with this (note, they were JWs) when he found out. The day before I was to go see her, she bought me tickets, she left me a message at work saying that she wanted to cancel the trip because she felt too guilty having me come out to see her. She was crying on the phone and told me to take care and that she loves me. I was devastated.

  A year later, my mom divorced my dad, and left the org, DFd. We reunited in 2000. You never know, stand tall.

  Nikki