Hello Gary. Have you got a few minutes? Can I tell you about my own experience as a servant and a father, and trying to raise my kids in the "Truth"?
My first child was born in 1976, and she wasn't even a month old but what I was taking her outside and spanking her. Not hard, please understand, but there's no justification for ever spanking a newborn baby. But we were told to bring up our children in the "discipline and mental regulating of Jehovah" or whatever that verse says, and I thought it was the right thing to do. What an idiot I was. My second daughter was born a year later, and even though I had mellowed considerably, the meetings were no picnic for her either.
During the mid-seventies, there was a population explosion in our congregation and I recall that we had around 35 children of pre-school age. Needless to say, the path to the side door was well-worn. The neighbors called several times and spoke with the elders and left messages that they were noticing our hard-line stance with the kids and felt that we were being too harsh. Yes, even the neighbors were paying attention. However, the elders paid no attention at all, and we all felt that we had a scriptural basis for letting the beatings continue. Imagine the shock and surprise, though, when the police came into the hall one Thursday night and stopped the meeting. They stayed for around 20 minutes and interviewed some elders and parents, but they finally did leave with only a warning handed out. It was extremely humiliating, and for me at least, a wake-up call-----I don't think I ever spanked my kids again. Ever. Even when they may have needed it. It was a different world 25 years ago, but if this were to happen today, I don't think the police would leave so easily. I think that Child Welfare Services would be called and a lot of parents would be on the carpet getting a huge dose of their own medicine. But here's the interesting part of that incident: Do you think that the congregation learned it's lesson and began acting more discreetly and humanely? Yes and no. At the next Service Meeting, a special needs talk was given discussing the situation, and the elders decreed that we should not take our children outside to discipline them anymore; instead we were to take them into the library and give them their whippings in there!!
I'm ashamed that I was ever a part of that organization. Shame is not a strong enough word.
My 2 girls were born in the mid-seventies. My 2 boys came along in the mid-eighties. By the time the boys came along, my wife and I were on our way out of the organization, and we left for good by 1987. But, as far as the girls are concerned, the damage had already been done. Today, they are both doing pretty good, but they still have problems associated with their JW up-bringing and they both have to take anti-depressants to get by. But those boys!!! They love being alive. They're happy, well-adjusted and goal-oriented. They just love being alive. Why the huge difference? To me, the answer is obvious: The girls were raised in the "Truth." The boys were never around it. Gary, and also if there are any JW lurkers out there reading this, PLEASE listen to what I'm trying to tell you.
David
