Posts by merfi

I'm marrying a [lapsed yet don't challenge him. lol] Catholic. I don't know if I believe in God or not. I'd like to. But I don't know.... Anyway, I've attended a few Masses and for me, it's the ritual and the very old traditions that I find fascinating. I also like the sense of community that my town's Catholics have. I've attended a Methodist and a couple Lutheran services and found them silly. Maybe silly isn't quite the word, but it just didn't taste right. As well, the Lutheran minister got up and told the congregation to boycott a movie. Not long out of JW, that totally irked me. So much for leaving Control behind.

I realize my church/religion-seeking is pretty minimal and thinking about going full-in with the Catholics might just be a lazy move..... But I feel comfortable there. And maybe a weird reason -- I want to know where and how my funeral would be if I died tomorrow. Not planning on it as I have a million other things to do, but who knows? Right now, I'm not JW, I'm not Methodist (my up-bringin's religion) and I'm not Catholic. I don't like limbo much.

I don't agree on the "do this or you're gonna buuuuurrrrn" crap in ANY religion and I know the Catholics have their own version of that. But I think the good things about it outweigh the bad and the BS.

~merfi

54

Peanut butter or jelly...

by zeroday in

jw
friends

ok with the continuning political debate there is only one question remaining...peanut butter or jelly ( no not both) sandwichs.... for me peanut butter with honey...and bananas....

merfi

Gross Merfi, are you pregnant?

Geezus I hope not.

*running off to check calendar*

54

Peanut butter or jelly...

by zeroday in

jw
friends

ok with the continuning political debate there is only one question remaining...peanut butter or jelly ( no not both) sandwichs.... for me peanut butter with honey...and bananas....

merfi

You guys gotta try peanut butter and dill pickles. mmmmmm

11

What I've been up to

by merfi in

jw
friends

it's been a few months since i've even logged on to here.

must be part of the healing to not *need* jwd so much.

a good thing i think, but it's still interesting to check back and see what's going on.

merfi

What a funny little world your ex is in

That is consensus in my family. lol

My ex and I were HS sweethearts, so I was his "at school only gf". I think that is where he learned to do the secret double-life so well. Must be part of Awake University curriculum. ha.

It took me til I was in my 30s to start practicing the double life and dating around. I couldn't stand myself as a hypocrite, and among other reasons, that's why I freed myself from that horrible cult.

Ahhh sweet freedom! I've found myself, have the kids on the right path and have found a real man. Erm, a *catholic* man, but that's another post.

11

What I've been up to

by merfi in

jw
friends

it's been a few months since i've even logged on to here.

must be part of the healing to not *need* jwd so much.

a good thing i think, but it's still interesting to check back and see what's going on.

merfi

Hey oompa --

Yeah, we totally trash the JW religion at my house. Not the *people*, though; we make the distinction there. They understand that the people are brainwashed by the cult, therefore we pity rather than condemn them, and we're actually pretty free about saying we do miss the people there (but then bring up that if they were really "friends", they'd talk with us anyway. Aha! Control! cult flag...) But the cult is fair game. When driving by the KH and seeing cars, we'll note that "they're gathered at Jonestown today" and "wonder what flavor Kool-aid they're passing?" There are serious talks, though. Now and then the kids will bring up interesting things out of their own heads that they've noticed -- usually something hypocritical or just plain stupid. My 14yo (I'm guessing this is part of a ploy to let her date) says that the JW rule of "dating only for marriage" is "stupid" because it doesn't allow you to learn what you want and don't want in a person/relationship. I do recall saying that myself, so maybe she was paying attention afterall.

My middle one is going through an atheist phase, even though I don't know if she knows exactly what that means. She is just through with religious control of any type, as is my oldest. It's been interesting with the middle one -- when she gets on her soapbox, as much as a 12yo can, about "those Christians" and "that Bible", I tell her she's acting like the JW when they pooh-pooh other religions. Makes her think. And thinking has been a great bonus out of all this cult-leaving. It's been wonderful to watch the kids discover and learn without the WTS and creepy elders breathing on their necks. Many times they've said with a smile "we wouldn't get to do this if we were still going to meetings..."

They still go to the occasional meeting when they go to their dad's, but currently he's DF so they don't do anything social, obviously. He isn't trying terribly hard to get back in, as they haven't been to a Sunday meeting with him in months and he didn't even know about a SAD a couple weeks ago. His parents are diehards and now and then pick at the kids a little bit about things. The kids are in tune enough to the robotic JW-speak, so it goes in one ear and out the other. They know "it's what they've been told to say", so they see right through it. The ex has a GF (I think this is why he's DFd, but I don't ask. Cuz I don't give a shit.) whom he is trying to convert.... Stupid girl is falling for it, no doubt for him (like I did. I was an idiot. No longer.). What irks me the most is that he (ex) expects her to convert when he's such a hypocrite... This has also sparked conversations among the kids and myself.

So yeah, the kids are doing wonderful after our exodus from the Darkness.

~merfi

11

What I've been up to

by merfi in

jw
friends

it's been a few months since i've even logged on to here.

must be part of the healing to not *need* jwd so much.

a good thing i think, but it's still interesting to check back and see what's going on.

merfi

This is unbelievable! People can use the F-word in Iowa?!?!...................oompa

F'ing right we can! lol

11

What I've been up to

by merfi in

jw
friends

it's been a few months since i've even logged on to here.

must be part of the healing to not *need* jwd so much.

a good thing i think, but it's still interesting to check back and see what's going on.

merfi

It's been a few months since I've even logged on to here. Must be part of the healing to not *need* JWD so much. A good thing I think, but it's still interesting to check back and see what's going on.

I haven't found the info thread yet, but I just got the inkling that they changed the BS "arrangement"? Interesting. But then, I changed my own BS arrangement a couple years ago and just.don't.go. To any of it. Idiots.

I was approached by a somewhat mental, all-foam-no-beer type of JW the other day while waiting for a chick friend to do lunch. She's all like "I sure do miss you." I say "at MEETINGS?" (all incredulous) She says "yeah... [mumble about "truth" and "right"].." I told her "I am NEVER going back to that crap and there isn't enough time in a day to tell you why" She looked at me kinda dumb (see above comment about all-foam) and I straight out said "It's a cult, Noreen. It's f*cked up." and walked off before I got too frustrated with a brainwashed drone to whom I could make no progress anyway.... It did feel kinda good dropping an f-bomb on a JW. haha

And onto happier news -- I'm getting married in three months! I was somewhat proposed to December 30th (he showed me a printout of my ring and said "it'll be here Wednesday"... uh... ok. No down-on-one-knee, that one! LOL), so the last few months have been filled with silk vs real flowers, ribbons, organza, dress-shopping, pearls, blue garters, lime green ink and monograms. Ahhh, I love this! We're having an outdoor ceremony on August 8th with about 30 family and friends. Then a big partay shebang on the 23rd. We wanted 8-8-08 but since a Friday would be hard for out of towners, we're having the reception on a Sat and the first available was then. So... My invite list is out of control and I'm almost hoping for a 50-75% return on the 460+ that are on the list. eek.

My ex is a hypocritical JW still and my poor kids are catching on. They're 10, 12 and 14 and smart. They see and smell ("mom, papa came in three times after being outside and he smelled like those icky black cigarettes. Why doesn't he just TELL us he smokes?!") his double life and it bugs them that he tells them to 'be good' and all that JW conforming crap, yet he's doing many things contrary. I guess the good things about him being like that is that they see just how f'd up that whole JW thing is and it also opens them up to and with me. When they tell me about yet another of his double-life things, I tell them that they can ask me anything and that I have no (well, relatively speaking) secrets. So it's brought us closer -- serendipity. And interesting thing my oldest said the other day was that she thinks that the reason the JWs around town are so weird towards my kids is that they know they're (my kids and myself) are having fun and enjoying life and they (JWs) aren't and don't get to. Nailed that one, kid.

The kids are mostly ok with my impending marriage. He has no kids of his own and jumping into the Weird Years, so there's been a few trials here and there. We all want it to work and go as smooth as possible, yet are realistic enough to know there will be bumps. So we talk a lot and work stuff out and move on to the next change.

So that there folks is my little rambly update. Hopefully all of you are finding peace as well, one way or another.

~merfi