Big congrats!! It's one of those steps.
I got mine in April and used it to vote in the primaries last month.
~merfi
Posts by merfi
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9Got my voter registration card
by under_believer inmy wife hands it to me, just says "do you need to file this?
" and that was the end of the conversation.
and so it begins...
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15
WT magazines in different territories
by New Worldly Translation inwhen i was a jw i always had a question that i don't think i ever got to the bottom of.. it was do the jw's in different countries get different versions of the watchtower and awake magazines?.
it always struck me that the magazines were always very america-centric and a lot of the issues addressed wouldn't be applicable to jw's overseas.
living in the uk i found some of the articles to be extremely patronising and i could only imagine what an african or russian jw reading them would be thinking.. there were articles about conserving money by only taking one holiday a year or only having one car in the family.
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merfi
all seem to depict a corn-huskin', midwestern barbecue, a few miles southwest of Des Moines, Iowa, I'd guess.
lmao!
I'm several miles NW of Des Moines, IA, but yeah...
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7
Evil plan or slip-back to brainsuck? :(
by merfi ini da'd in march.
i've done enough research and know enough about the org to know that i could never never believe that crap again.
i doubt the bible... i despise the label of "religion" in general and have found such wonderful freedom in my... freedom.
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merfi
Hiya Juni! LOL no, it wasn't juniperbreeze, but white tea & ginger. ;) I needed a strong one. Thanks for your response and lovins---- you and the others as well. I think I'm just in a weird place right now -- that zone between jw and post-jw. Talking with the dub girl this past week didn't help any, in fact it brought sooo much to the surface that I'm sure this is where all this is coming from. I agree with your suggestions of finding other things to do, other friends... which I have, but ya know that comfort zone thing.
They were always questioning his sincerety.
I have a feeling that the elders would definitely do this to me... they did it to me as a dub, they know I wrote that article in the paper, they surely see my USA flag flying on my house... one elder questioned the ex if I was 'too out there' to make a 'return', so the BS meters would be up in the nearly-red zone for them, I'm sure. So really, I doubt that I could truly pull this off. The cost of regaining "friends" that really are NOT true friends (and I've made and leaned on some wonderful, beautiful-hearted non-dub friends thru the years before and during all this) probably isn't worth it.
What I need to do, to make my own little self proud, is to stand up for what I KNOW and FEEL is right. Even if it's by not doing a damn thing... just keep on living as I have been, post-DA healing phase... feeling out formerly 'forbidden' stuff (voting, blood donor, guilt-free quickie with a FWB... you didn't just read that...) and feeling good about having these freedoms.
I really don't think my sanity is worth it, in fact it would probably make it worse....
I'm just throwing all this out there as thoughts and ramble, probably already knowing in my heart of hearts what the right decision is. But thank you for reading and responding.
~merfi
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7
Evil plan or slip-back to brainsuck? :(
by merfi ini da'd in march.
i've done enough research and know enough about the org to know that i could never never believe that crap again.
i doubt the bible... i despise the label of "religion" in general and have found such wonderful freedom in my... freedom.
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merfi
I DA'd in March. I've done enough research and know enough about the Org to know that I could never never believe that crap again. I doubt the Bible... I despise the label of "religion" in general and have found such wonderful freedom in my... freedom. :) As a single blonde hottie sister, (j/k sorta) I was resented and picked on by the elders for everything from my skirt slits to my jeep and so on and so on. I was seen as wearing a big red A after a post-separation affair that gave life to my heart and sucked it out, all at the same time. But anyway... there wasn't forgiveness in my BOE towards me when I was pleading for understanding and mercy and plain ol' compassion and help. I know they have personal issues with me that will never go away...However...
I miss my friends. I know they are conditional and will be only 'friends' if I am of 'one mind' with them. Stupidness... But I do miss them. Ok, maybe I miss the 'something to do' and the chats 'round the kitchen table with a couple of the women. And I do miss the sometimes warmth that they truly believe that they have for me... Ya know that feeling of a favorite pair of sweats? As f'd up as this religion is, life as a jw is sort of that 'familiar' thing -- at least the surroundings, but not the 'beliefs' that I could never hold again. The ex is still jw, and so the kids sorta are. The ex takes it upon himself to "explain" me and my feelings and actions to members of my former cong, yet he is 2 hours away... He's undermining... something. I just can't quite put my finger on it, but it bugs the crap outta me. I am not ALLOWED to speak for myself as nobody asks ME, but they ask HIM about me. And really, he has no clue about who I am anymore and his emotional/mental abuse has changed me into someone he doesn't know...
I'm rambling. ~sigh~
The kids were home this weekend, and yesterday we spent in the sun at the pool, just hanging and relaxing. I didn't feel like driving for 3 hours (round trip) to take them back to him and they didn't feel like it either. So ex and I bargained via text message. He wanted them back tonight in time for BS, but I couldn't meet him until a time that he had a photo shoot... so... I *gag* agreed to take the kids to the BS here and we're switching kids tomorrow a.m. Fine. So, not able to eat, I spiffed some for 5:15pm BS tonight. (back in the day, I would have at least showered after a mild workout, but not today. meh. "cover lotion" thanks to B&BW) We went. I hadn't been to a meeting since early May, and walked out early from that one as I couldn't stomach it. For some reason, tonight was a bit different. I didn't feel like throwing up. I did tune it out fairly well, except for the comment from the conductor about friends "dying" and his twisting it to include 'friends that we miss'... ie: me, without outright saying so. There was also some comment about imitating Jesus in his forgiveness... I stared down the elder on that one, as he was one of the bastards in my jc. (albeit the nicest of all three, but whatever)
So I'm wondering... could I stand to 'go back' and 'fade' ... I think Drew Sagan pondered doing this as well, but decided to nix that. My situation is a bit different, having little kids. But not that much different. I'm sure there are situations just like mine around here somewhere. I'm just not sure if I could stomach a year of hearing this crap, pretending to believe it... I know I was 'indoctinated' enough to be able to fake it good. Under no circumstances do I believe that "jehovah is with these people" -- quite the contrary, actually (Deut 18:20-22 comes to mind). But is wasting a year worth getting "friends" and a sense of 'normalcy' back...? I could get myself RI, then become a fringe-er... irregular, some meetings... just enough to be at least greeted at walmart. lol I dunno...
Maybe I need to go read C of C again. after smacking myself on the side of the head with it.
~merfi
--indecisive class-- -
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Guess what's gonna happen to us Apostates
by Undecided ini picked up the bible while the site was down and this is the first thing i read:.
"for what is the hope of an apostate in case he cuts [him] off, in case god carries off his soul from him?
job 27:8 .
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merfi
Oh I don't believe in that silly Bible anyway. I ain't skeered.
~merfi
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What Bothers You The Most About Jehovah's Witnesses?
by minimus infor me, i think it's their hypocrisy.
they lead (the vast majority) a double life.
and ultimately they look down on anyone not a jw yet they won't even wn up to it.
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merfi
I hate hate hate that they can't just LET ME GO already. Even tho I DA'd, a freaking elder still wants to "talk to" me "in six months" (according to the ex -- still a jw). Even the ex described me/my situation as "when Anakin chose the dark side" because in the end, he came back over to the good as there was good all along ("good" in this wonderful illustration is equated with "jw" brainwashed-ness ) This just pisses me right off...
And it's not just me that they do it to. There's always a mention of so-and-so who "left the truth" but s/he "knows it's the truth" and will hopefully one day "return to jehovah". Just let them be, geez.
~merfi
Hotel California -
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My happy sunburned family
by merfi inthe kiddos are home this weekend.
(dad is still jw) i think they already just 'know' that when they come home, there is no silly jehoober stuff going on.
we have fun instead.
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merfi
The kiddos are home this weekend. (Dad is still JW) I think they already just 'know' that when they come home, there is no silly jehoober stuff going on. We have fun instead.
We just got back about 1/2 hour ago from a small-town pool. We left here around 130, drove by the KH and saw all the cars of those poor suckers sitting in there getting their brains sucked out and replaced with WT spew. It felt really good to just drive.on.by. I *did* give the kids one last chance and asked "guys -- meeting! Should be turn around, get spiffy and go?" They all looked at me funny and said, with 'duh' voice "no!" And off we went... The pool is managed by a friend of mine (a wonderful, non-judgemental, great to be with WORLDLY girl) so the kids automatically passed the diving board / deep end test. (yes, they can swim -- they're fish). My 8yo has jumped off the boards before, but today he DOVE! I was so proud... My 10yo mostly jumped, had a couple belly flops, but kept trying until she did dive once or twice. The 12yo did it all as well. And they wouldn't do it at first until *I* did, so I had a great time diving as well. (I just looove diving -- like flying....) We spent the whole afternoon there, and are now fixin to slap something on the grill, do DQ later and probably stay up too late.
This all sure beats sitting in a nasty KH for two hours listening to drivel (and freezing to death -- my old KH was always at arctic setting on the therm) and being shunned by former 'friends', watching said 'friends' fawn all over my babies and invite them to "come over for cards and pizza. We might play tennis later, too!" to which their mother would have to say that it's "family day not cult day" or some such evil comment that would cause a dropped jaw and some chatter the next couple weeks....
Off to find the after-sun lotion... Such a good day.
~merfi
of the "SPF 45 class" -
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Classic remarks
by 5thGeneration inanyone made any classic remarks to the brethren?.
my favorite was to an old c.o.
who asked me why i wasn't pioneering.
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merfi
Not really classic, but the first time I stood up for myself to an elder...
I had had my JC a week previous... handed in my DA the following Thurs. The next Sunday meeting PO caught me around the coats and said "uh, Rachel? Can.. we talk to you after the meeting today?" I said "probably not" Elder (raised eyebrows, bit of a stammer) "probably not, huh?" Me (nose up just a wee bit more, hand on hip) "right. probably not." and turned and walked away...
~merfi
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6
My old cong is just messed up....
by merfi inso you guys get to hear about it.
**settling into my squeaky but trusty computer chair**.
there is a girl in the congregation that is pretty on the edge of things.
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merfi
So you guys get to hear about it. **settling into my squeaky but trusty computer chair**
There is a girl in the congregation that is pretty on the edge of things. She's not baptized, therefore untouchable. She and I are sort of friends... she texted me last night, so I told her to call. So we talked for about 1.5 hours. Oh.my.god. I am SOOOO glad I have nothing to do with those people anymore. At least the Storm Lake ones, and I know each cong has it's own little pocket of weirdness, hypocrisy etc. Ok... so... about Txxx (guy who I rebounded with after marriage f'd up). I haven't heard from him since I think it was March. He texted me a sort of "sorry if I hurt you, I never intended to hurt you"... ok, fine. I texted back that I was over it. Then did a follow-up email explaining why I talked to the elders in Feb and why I DA'd. I also had a paragraph in there that tried to encourage him to hang in there with the marriage thing as he had also texted "being married isn't easy" (why the hell he's telling me this? I dunno.) So that was that. So now, according to JW mole friend, Txxx and skank wife haven't been to a meeting for about 6 weeks, and they're pretty busy doing... meth. OMFG
On the other side of the family, Txxx's sister Kxxxx was in rehab back in Feb for same nasty drug plus a couple others. She supposedly came out ok... She lives in low-income housing, which attracts some weeeird people here (not saying that it's the same everywhere, but here -- definitely). Many sort of not smart, many on legal AND illegal meds. So there's that picture of paradise. Actually, that's the name of the development -- Paradise Park.
I'm sure K and T's parents are just heartsunk. They're good JW, and good people, really. However, they've always made excuses for their kids' stupid behaviors, enabled a lot of it... etc. I watch them closely to learn what NOT to do. Seriously.
Have I mentioned that I'm glad I'm out...?
And on another note, apparently elder Joe dumbass and my ex had a conversation about me in May or so. Joe supposedly feels bad at how it all shook out with me. Michael (ex), speaking for me (I hate this) told Joe that they screwed up when they showed me no mercy, but instead rehashed how bad I was... I went for help and got a beating.
OH yeah, and another thing (sorry -- you've hopefully refilled by now. lol) My blood donation story DID cause a HUUUUGE stir in the congregation.
So that is my last 24 hours. I need another beer. All this stuff I was doing great avoiding... now feels like it's hitting me in the face.
In the meantime, have I mentioned that I'm glad I'm out? ~merfi -
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describe yourself...
by Calliope income on, be vain for a moment.
maybe you haven't posted your picture because you're trying to maintain some level of anonymity, .
maybe you have posted your picture... .
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merfi
Ok, I'll bite --
<---------I look like that chick over there.
an intense summer gym phase has made me somewhat more formidable (in case the elders show up to ask if I want to reconsider my DA status and 'return to Jehovah'. ).
My hair lives in a scrunchie during the summer = "jeep hair"
I'm 5'5" and not sharing my weight, but I'm proportionate .
I ALSO have an eyebrow scar -- right eyebrow. Fell into the TV when I was two.
(my 8 yo just got his hereditary eyebrow scar two months ago -- fell on the radiator... no stitches, they glued him)
My favorite thing to do is read and pass through learning phases.
I love music... movies... walks on the beach in the moonlight...camping... wine and candlelight...
oh wait, wrong site. Hang on...
Ok -- I love music -- it's often my therapy. Driving is another.
I'm really not all that exciting. lol I'm pretty quiet until I trust you.... I write better than speak and often prefer that to in person. Weird, I know.....About it from the merf...