I was born & raised in the truth. My mom was babtized in 1970, and my dad always remained an 'unbeliever.' I was able to stop going to the meetings in my teens because my mom was no longer able to physically make me go. I haven't been back in about 10 years. My mother and I now have a very close relationship. I have found a personal place with God, but I just can't find a religion that I agree with. Throughout the years, my mom has mentioned the memorial to me, but I've never really given her a response. Last year, she forgot to get me the invitation in time. This year when she mentioned it, I apparently suggested that I'd think about going. I figured I could go for her, especially if it meant a lot to her. I planned on attending the memorial up untill about an hour before. I guess I chickened out. I feel bad for letting her down, but all these thoughts and emotions kept running through my head. I didn't want to show up and have everyone think that I was interested in coming back. I was interested in how everyone would treat me, but I was afraid some would shun me, even though I've done nothing wrong. I feel really guilty now because I feel that I let my mother down. I told her last night that maybe I'd attend a Sunday with her. Now she is planning on me going with her this Sunday, and that's a 2 hour commitment! I don't mind spending the time with her, and having a little 'godly time,' as long as she knows I'm not interested in going to meetings all the time or bible studies. I think I'll tell her that just to set things straight.
I had forgotten about how 'important' the memorial is to JWs. I remember when I was a child how excited I'd be because it was something different from the normal boring meeting. I can't beleive how excited I got to see the crackers and wine passed in front of me. Imagine that being the highlight of the year!