two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood.
the people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys.
so the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys.
A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.
"God!" he says. "What gives? Remember that time I was tripping on acid? I saw you, and you said we'd be in Heaven together forever!"
God thought for a minute, then said, "Oh yeah, but I was drunk."
two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood.
the people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys.
so the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys.
lol
here's one for you...
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord...
"God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
"Einstein asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Einstein asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
try these.... http://www.prosieben.de/games_handy/onlinegames/yetisports/games/popup_game_part9/.
http://www.prosieben.de/games_handy/onlinegames/yetisports/games/popup_game_part5/.
fts.
well i'm an atheist, so now i can feel free to think whatever i want without getting struck by lightning.
but i've been playing with this idea for quite a while:.
is satan just looking out for the poor little humans?
Then came the wisest of all creatures, who was called Beast. And when he saw the likeness of their mother Eve he said to her, "What did God say to you? Was it 'Do not eat from the tree of knowledge'?" She said, "He said not only, 'Do not eat from it', but, 'Do not touch it, lest you die.'" He said to her, "Do not be afraid. In death you shall not die. For he knows that when you eat from it, your intellect will become sober and you will come to be like gods, recognizing the difference that obtains between evil men and good ones. Indeed, it was in jealousy that he said this to you, so that you would not eat from it."
Now Eve had confidence in the words of the instructor. She gazed at the tree and saw that it was beautiful and appetizing, and liked it; she took some of its fruit and ate it; and she gave some also to her husband, and he too ate it. Then their intellect became open. For when they had eaten, the light of knowledge had shone upon them. When they clothed themselves with shame, they knew that they were naked of knowledge. When they became sober, they saw that they were naked and became enamored of one another. When they saw that the ones who had modelled them had the form of beasts, they loathed them: they were very aware.
Then when the rulers knew that they had broken their commandments, they entered Paradise and came to Adam and Eve with earthquake and great threatening, to see the effect of the aid. Then Adam and Eve trembled greatly and hid under the trees in Paradise. Then the rulers did not know where they were and said, "Adam, where are you?" He said, "I am here, for through fear of you I hid, being ashamed." And they said to him ignorantly, "Who told you about the shame with which you clothed yourself? - unless you have eaten from that tree!" He said, "The woman whom you gave me - it is she that gave to me and I ate." Then they said to the latter, "What is this that you have done?" She answered and said, "It is the instructor who urged me on, and I ate."
Then the rulers came up to the instructor. Their eyes became misty because of him, and they could not do anything to him. They cursed him, since they were powerless. Afterwards, they came up to the woman and cursed her and her offspring. After the woman, they cursed Adam, and the land because of him, and the crops; and all things they had created, they cursed. They have no blessing. Good cannot result from evil.
looking back its amazing how many alcoholics i knew in the "borg"...................... there are 3 elders in my old hall alone........ that are full blown alcoholics...................... when, have you ever heard of someone.......anyone.......let alone and elder............ getting "dfed" for drinking too much?.
when i was at bethel........you wouldn't believe how much drinking was done there!.
there are stories of the old days ( russell & the judge)..where they would find guys passed out in front of the 124 building on sunday mornings........no big deal, just dust them off.............. and bring in.
One Sunday, driving a "brother" ( been at brooklyn Bethel about 40 years) back from giving a talk at my hall, we were driving down the F.D.R. drive...........he pointed over to the Shafer brewery.......and said ..................."HAY.......they ever shut down that factory...........they would have too shut down that factory too"..................pointing to Bethel!
lol! funny and how true that would be if they ever get new light banning booze..........never will that happen! 
when a person gets close to being baptized, i understand he/she must go before the elders to answer some questions?
what exactly do the elders ask the person??.
lavendar .
THX blondie!
Strange! I cant get the hyperlink to work either...
here's one: you can't give blood but you can take a blood fraction (which someone else has to give).
Jws don’t get drunk when drinking alc, they are just very tired after a long day in service!
looking back its amazing how many alcoholics i knew in the "borg"...................... there are 3 elders in my old hall alone........ that are full blown alcoholics...................... when, have you ever heard of someone.......anyone.......let alone and elder............ getting "dfed" for drinking too much?.
when i was at bethel........you wouldn't believe how much drinking was done there!.
there are stories of the old days ( russell & the judge)..where they would find guys passed out in front of the 124 building on sunday mornings........no big deal, just dust them off.............. and bring in.
The most I drank was during my jws years.
A couple of years ago I accommodated an elder friend of my parent visiting from the Caribbean. He drank three quarters of a bottle of rum every evening sometimes more. He said he could take it without getting drunk because he is used to it and a heavy or big guy. He could quote the scripture of Jesus changing water into wine with no problem. Lots of jws I know drink lots of alc.
on saturday i walked into two old-timer sisters from my congregation and we had a long and very open discussion about many critical topics regarding the organisation and the responsible men within it.
at first i was not even sure if they would greet me.
off course, they tried to convince me of going back to the meetings, but in no way were they judgmental or pushing.. we spoke about the preaching work (tract campaign), higher education, independent thinking, elders and child abuse (silentlambs & barbara anderson).
Another thing I wanted to mention is that the sisters mentioned that they and a number of other brothers are not happy with the recent tract campaign telling them that every householder should get one. The one I spoke to today told me that she told the elders that she will only place the tract when she feels it would be effective and useful to the householder, because she thinks it is an unnecessary provocation which can give "us" a bad name. she has only placed one with a lady and told her to check all the scripture and that she would be happy to discuss them with her, (and now it comes) but as regards the Revelation (Babylon Beast) prophecy she will not discuss with the woman, since she finds Revelation very confusing!
So off course I took the opportunity to ask her what she thinks about going through the Climax book yet another time. She is not amused…
on saturday i walked into two old-timer sisters from my congregation and we had a long and very open discussion about many critical topics regarding the organisation and the responsible men within it.
at first i was not even sure if they would greet me.
off course, they tried to convince me of going back to the meetings, but in no way were they judgmental or pushing.. we spoke about the preaching work (tract campaign), higher education, independent thinking, elders and child abuse (silentlambs & barbara anderson).
Actually I was not sure how they would really take it at the first conversation, but the sister was happy when I called her today. I was moved when she told me that the other sister approached her the next day at the Sunday meeting and asked her if she too could not sleep last night. Both of them didn't. They know us from the time my parents got baptised. It made me feel bad, but also reassures me that they were not just hearing me out. I always thought of them as genuine. There still are a few lovely jws!
