truth.ceeker

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Posts by truth.ceeker

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  93

  Wikipedia being abused by Jehovahs Witnesses

  by Simon in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i had a look at the wikipedia entry for jehovahs witnesses yesterday and noticed that it wasn't as comprehensive as it once was.. most links to non-pro-jw sites have gone as is anything truly critical or exposing of their beliefs and practices.. last night i added a link to this site to the "other sources" section.

  this morning it is gone.. i wonder whether this is some private zealot who has decided to do it or an organised campaign?.

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/jehovah%27s_witnesses.

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  truth.ceeker

  Has anyone tried searching for watchtower quotes on wikipedia? I did and wonder how long it will stay up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchtower_Quotes
  
  ..truth.ceeker..
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  5

  Can You Give Me a Push?

  by truth.ceeker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  can you give me a push?.

  a man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

  he rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

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  truth.ceeker

  Can You Give Me a Push?

  A man is in bed asleep with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??" "No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?" "But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter.,” says the wife. "He needs our help. The right thing to do would be to help him. "So the husband gets out of bed again, dresses, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" He hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please. "So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?" And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  9

  Betcha Didn't Know

  by truth.ceeker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  bet ya'll didn't know.

  rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.the national anthem of greece has 158 verses.no one in greece has memorized all 158 verses.there are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.there are more chickens than people in the world.two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in new jersey.the longest one-syllable word in the english language is "screeched.

  "on a canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over the parliament building is an american flag.all of the clocks in the movie pulp fiction are stuck on 4:20.no word in the english language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

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  truth.ceeker

  Bet Ya'll didn't know

  1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  3. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
  4. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
  5. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
  7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
  8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
  9. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.
  10. All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
  11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
  12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
  13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5.00 bill
  14. Almonds are members of the peach family.
  15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
  16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
  17. There are only four words in the English language which end in -dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
  18. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  19. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
  20. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner
  21. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
  22. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  1

  A Bad Day

  by truth.ceeker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  untitled documentwhen you have a really bad day.

  for all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, when you just need to take it out on someone!

  don't take that bad day out on someone you know; take it out on someone you don't know!

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  truth.ceeker

  When you have a really bad day

  For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, when you just need to take it out on someone! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know; take it out on someone you DON'T know! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely wrong number said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.

  When the same person once more answered, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass" and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me; I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, and then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!" The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it.

  [Keep reading, it gets better]

  The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this Black Camaro flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro Completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

  A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I better call this guy too. He answered the phone and said, "Hello."
  I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
  "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
  "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
  I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen."
  "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
  "I'm home in the evenings."
  "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
  "Yes,"
  "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

  After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the some serious thought and came up with a solution: First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.
  A man answered nicely saying, "Hello."
  I yelled "You're a jackass!” but I didn't hang up.
  The Jackass said, "Are you still there?"
  I said, "Yeah."
  He said, "Stop calling me."
  I said, "No."
  He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
  I said, "Don Hansen."
  He said, "Where do you live?"
  "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."
  "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
  "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
  Then I called Jackass #2.
  He answered, "Hello."
  I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
  He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
  "You'll what?"
  "I'll kick your butt."
  "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right over, Jackass!" and I hung up.

  Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going down on W. 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life! You can see the live footage on the 6:00 news.

  .truth.ceeker..
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  4

  Chili Cookoff

  by truth.ceeker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  chili cook off.

  recently i was honored to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it.

  also the original person called in sick at the last moment and i happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came.

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  truth.ceeker

  Chili Cook Off

  Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my Community to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're an Internet writer and therefore known and adored by all. Here are the scorecards from the event:

  Chili #1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

  Judge One: A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

  Judge Two: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

  Me: Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

  Chili #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

  Judge One: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

  Judge Two: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

  Me: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.

  Chili #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

  Judge One: Excellent Firehouse Chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

  Judge Two: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

  Me: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her 'Sally'. Probably behind her back they call her 'Forklift'.

  Chili #4: Bubba's Black Magic

  Judge One: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

  Judge Two: A hint of lime on the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other milder foods, not much of as chili.

  Me: I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled, it's kinda cute.

  Chili #5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

  Judge One: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

  Judge Two: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

  Me: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

  Chili #6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

  Judge One: Thin yet bold vegetarian chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

  Judge Two: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

  Me: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except for Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.

  Chili #7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

  Judge One: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

  Judge Two: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.

  Me: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

  Chili #8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

  Judge One: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild or hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.

  Judge Two: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

  Me: Momma?
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  11

  reexamine.org down yet again

  by ackack in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it appears reexamine.org is down again, but this time it looks like for good.. ackack.

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  truth.ceeker

  See my post at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/120968/1.ashx

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  5

  What's Up with Reexamine.org?

  by cathyk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i went to look something up on reexamine.org and got a site maintenance screen.

  is it really undergoing revision, or has it been hacked again?.

  cathy.

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  truth.ceeker

  It would appear that the WTBTS (Watchtower Association Malaysia ) has issued a cease and decease for www.reexamine.org under the DMCA. Since he did not respond to the request in a timely manner, within 24hours, the isp has temporarily suspended the account. Reexamine is working on getting it back up soon.

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  5

  What's Up with Reexamine.org?

  by cathyk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i went to look something up on reexamine.org and got a site maintenance screen.

  is it really undergoing revision, or has it been hacked again?.

  cathy.

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  truth.ceeker

  The address indicates that the account has been suspended. I sure hope that the DMCA is not being invoked on this. If it is a case of payment, maybe we can donate a buck to help out since I often use this site for reference.

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  8

  STOP K-HALL BLDG NEAR GRADE SCHOOL

  by DannyHaszard in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  neighbors appeal church?s building permit.

  corvallis gazette times, or - 2 hours ago.

  ...on nearby school property, residents of the country club meadows subdivision off southwest 35th street are seeking to stop local jehovah?s witnesses from ... [email protected] managing editor frustrated by years of increased traffic and parking problems caused by various activities on nearby school property, residents of the country club meadows subdivision off southwest 35th street are seeking to stop local jehovah?s witnesses from building a new kingdom hall at the corner of 35th and philomath boulevard.. .

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  truth.ceeker

  I have learned that this part of the country, from Portland, Oregon and northward up to the surrounding Seattle Washington area has the highest concentration of Level 2 and Level 3 sex offenders. I can't recall exactly where I read that, somewhere on this forum several months back. Maybe you can confirm or correct this information. I am more aware of such now that my daughters are of school age and attending elementary schools by searching through the online databases.

  ..truth.ceeker..
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  32

  I'm afraid

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow, where to begin?

  i guess i just need to let it all out.

  my sister is in pain and i don't know what to do to fix it.

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  truth.ceeker

  Hello, I do hope that your sister will be ok. I will keep her in my prayers. May I ask what type of heart surgery your sister underwent? I am not trying to be nosy, but I am curious since I am in a similar situation with my daughter.

  ..truth.ceeker..