Posts by cloud

38

Need help forgiving myself.

by cloud in

hi guys, im new here and im christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.

) anyway, i have a dilemma.

im 26 right now.

jgnat LOLOL. That is exactly what freaking happened to me. I was on the phone, saying, "No ma'am, ....... I respect your daughter ma'am, ........ I love your daughter ma'am.......... I wouldn't dream of it ma'am........." Oh the horrors. I usually consider myself to be a nice guy. Not bragging, but I wouldn't hurt a fly, so when I was being screamed at I just felt lower than crap. I don't even remember everything that was said, (Probably traumatically blocked it out) I remember hearing that I "should be disappointed in yourself, and your mother would be disappointed in you". Lo and behold, My mom wasn't but, I was.

Funny thing is that I remember my mom saying a girl called here for me about a month ago while I was at work, but she didn't leave a number or name. Trust me, no other girl is calling my number, I don't even give it out (due to the fact I haven't met any girl I liked yet). Unless of course it was just a tele-marketer or something, but my mom said the person just nervously hung up after she found out I wasn't there. Then I stumbled across her myspace recently....

Well you never know, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I should keep my world broad.

But anyway thanks for the story. And I will try to open up more to God.

38

Need help forgiving myself.

by cloud in

hi guys, im new here and im christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.

) anyway, i have a dilemma.

im 26 right now.

cloud

LOL. uniformed, thanks, I needed that. Thats funny know that I think about, it those points you made.

BTW, I always hear bad things *obviously* about JW's, epecially elders on the net and through the world. (I'm Prebyterian as you can find in my previous posts on the first page.) So its refreshing to see that an Elder has a sense of humor.

But I do think JW's do have some good ideas and analyzations.

Oh and SixofNine, If I decided to cut the parts that made me stumble, if you read any of my last few posts, I would then be completely useless to my future wife, whoever that may be, and I would be blind. Heh. I can't have that. That would be a whole new depressing problem for me.

And I do believe in God existence, but I know where you are coming from. Back in highschool, I too struggled with the concept of God and though believed in him, I questioned him too. I know now he has to exist in some shape or form, because I know he's the only reason I'm still alive haven't gone off the deep end. I can't pray for myself, yet, I'm still blessed in someway. Somebody must be praying for me cause it ain't me.

What's funny is that right now, this girl might respect me for the spiritual help I gave the last few times I saw her, but here I am, tearing myself apart.

38

Need help forgiving myself.

by cloud in

hi guys, im new here and im christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.

) anyway, i have a dilemma.

im 26 right now.

cloud

Satanus, (ironic name, lol), It's that I really miss her as you said. Of course sexual attraction was there, I'm human, even though I shouldn't have acted on it. But the reality is, she was the only girl I was ever truly in love with. She was so very nice, had a great personality and she used to come to me for help on her problems and she would comfort mine. She was eager to learn about God. My origins are Presbyterian BTW, and ironically, my Mom is way more easygoing on the topic than I am. (My father was not there for the past events as he unfortunetly passed away, in the same year, before we broke up.)

For some reason, I am taking the topic more to heart than my own parents. Partly because her mom's words over the phone keep ringing in my head. Also, I used read the bible in its entirety, before the break, because I was tired listening to pastors preach just Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John....AGAIN. So I searched through it (Old and New Test.) and found out exactly what was wrong and what was exceptable to God. Even found that some the Old T. actually helps decode some of Revelations. Now I have all this guilt. Not saying its God's fault of course.

On topic, on a lighter note, I found somewhere, (I forget exactly what book, it was a while ago) where Paul says basically that for a married couple, They should have a continual healthy sexual relationship, lest the man be tempted to cheat on the woman, or the woman, be tempted to cheat on the man. LOL, can't wait to get married some day.

But yeah, to get my belief system and and my nature to co-exist with me would be nice. I wouldn't be so tormented. It's funny because I don't judge others for all things they tell me they do, yet for me, I'll condemn myself. I know it doesn't make sense. I guess the first step would be to find a way to get rid of the internet p... you know what, problem (as I mentioned a couple posts above).

38

Need help forgiving myself.

by cloud in

hi guys, im new here and im christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.

) anyway, i have a dilemma.

im 26 right now.

cloud

Thanks Lady Liberty.

38

Need help forgiving myself.

by cloud in

hi guys, im new here and im christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.

) anyway, i have a dilemma.

im 26 right now.

cloud

KatieKitten, Glad to see it only wasn't me thinking that the clone mentality is sickening. Its as if they were all birthed specifically by MTV reality shows and rap videos (no offense to reality shows and rap videos, but in my everyday life, No, just no. And trust me, guys are no better) Don't worry, as long as you lead your daughter in the right direction, she should be fine.

Interest groups sound like a good idea. I'll have to look some up.

Serendipity, Thanks. Book stores are also a good idea.

Admittedly *hangs head in shame* another one of the big reasons I keep beating myself up is because... When my human-original sin side comes out.... since I never really met a sensible girl after my college love... I always end up watching internet p-o-....Well you know where thats going, so then basically I almost feel like I'm committing my previous college sin over and over again. Thats when my mind goes, "why pray for myself, I'm probably just going to be weak and watch one again." Hope I didn't digust you guys/girls. (Also hollywood ain't making enough hard action movies for guys to get their mind off of girls for even a minute but thats another story. lol) But yeah its kinda like living in a endless loop.

Hi guys, I’m new here and I’m Christian (though trying to read the bible for what it is instead of looking to preacher all the time.) Anyway, I have a dilemma. I’m 26 right now. When I was in college back in the day, I was best friends with very nice girl. I fell deeply in love with her. Long story short, there was no sex, but we fooled around intimately. Nothing ever forceful, both consensual. Sometimes she’d feel guilty (as would I) but I’d still say it was probably ok. Deep down I knew it wasn’t in the eyes of God.

After graduation, we didn’t see each other much but we did talk on the phone as usual. We’d talk about the bible and scripture or joke around. Well one day she her mother called me. She told her mom about the things we did, because the guilt was driving her crazy. That day literally broke me into a million pieces as I got torn a new one by her mom. Besides fact I don’t think the mother may have not liked the fact I was another race, (though that is not for me to judge), I was never to see her ever again. I never called her again as I wasn’t allowed to, but I did see her a few times after and she had some tough biblical questions that I was thankfully able to help her solve. Even found a couple of Awake pamphlets that helped her out. She was very thankful and I hear has become quite a spiritual person. Last time I heard from her was about 3 years ago. I tried calling her again because I couldn’t help it. Well it didn’t go to well. She picked up the phone and said I shouldn’t have called, so I told her God Bless, and we said our good byes.