You're right, Marilyn, I should simply tell them to **** themselves! ;-)
Thanks for your kind words and upbuilding email. We find out who our true friends are in difficult times, and you have proven one of them.
Rick
Derrick
JoinedPosts by Derrick
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68
My Turn!
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68
My Turn!
by Derrick ini request the first ones to read this post, to save this post on your hard drive.
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Derrick
Norm, you know it would take days to verify word for word those quotes and more importantly yet, to make certain they are not wrenched out of context. However, in glancing over many things I said, I think you're attempting to whitewash the topic by dumping this ream of material from the H2O archives here. You see, most people will not take the time to read this much material, and will conclude that since you posted it, the material must be damning to Rick!
Before anyone judges me, please don't assume that because Norm, Kent or anyone else quotes reams of material, it must prove their case!
Either read the material word for word or reserve judgment. Otherwise I'm being false accused.
What really tips me off to a snow-job here, is that in glancing over my quoted posts, I still agree 100% with what I wrote! What I wrote, if anyone reads it, actually vindicates me and calls into serious question the accusations of a few here!
Reverse psychology and propaganda are evidently well worn tools of the trade by a few people on this site. ;-)
Rick
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68
My Turn!
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Derrick
Kent, those quotes actually vindicate me. I stand behind every word I posted.
Rick
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68
My Turn!
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Derrick
Kent said:
> You tried for more than 3 years to boot me!
Such integrity in posting "fact"! Those who helped me administer H2O such as its Forum Director know, besides myself, that I fought based on my belief in free speech for you to remain a member! You're sure an ingrate for attacking me instead of those responsible. It was you who abused H2O for years until your final 30 day suspension! I practically let you get away with proverbial "murder" for years but you got so out of control, I couldn't come up with a reason not to suspend you. I hoped it would bring you to your senses. Afterall 30 days is mild compared to many sites that ban for life or much longer periods. (That "ban" was a slap on the wrist and you have the gall to complain?)
Also, you are NOT booted now, and you're acting silly! What you just said that I quoted above makes the word liar fit you like a glove, to tell it to you like you love to tell it to me. Stop forcing that glove on me, and wear it.
Believe it or not, I had high hopes for you sharing your knowledge of Watchtower Society wrongdoing on H2O in a manner that would not scare away every JW within miles of the site. You abused your posting privileges to death, jeopardizing the purpose of H2O, causing so many to leave in disgust, and the piper had to get paid, as they say. A 30 day suspension in hindsight was a slap on the wrist! Stop whining. You're not banned now, and I could do it, if I was the type of individual you claim! Which I'm not.
Rick
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68
My Turn!
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Derrick
Simon wrote:
> Managing a forum is such a difficult tightrope to walk isn't it?!
Sometimes it felt like I was in the ocean wearing a lead vest and at the same time trying to keep my nose and mouth above water long enough to gasp some air! I would carry my laptop I otherwise would have left at home on vacation, business trips, etc. Imagine visiting family or friends out of state carrying this laptop, and modeming-in to my ISP to maintain H2O? I'm sure you know this drill well. It got very tedious.
Why didn't I give it up? Because people convinced me that H2O was needed.
Why didn't I close H2O on February 6, 2001 when Infonex Information Services in La Mesa, California, unceremoniously pulled the plug? I was ready to! I didn't because again people convinced me that H2O was needed.
I wanted to do something that helped people and my Australian friends presented me with this once in a lifetime opportunity to give of myself for something really worthwhile. However, it was the many people (you know who you are out there!) who cheered me on to the "finish" line, and BEYOND.
Simon, if you noticed, Aimoo has performed a massive upgrade. The site is so fast it's like I'm paying a fortune for a private server (and this with the banner ads, which will DISAPPEAR in a few weeks when I again dig into my pockets). However, even with the ads it's faster than I ever dreamt possible even if I paid a bundle to get a new, fast private server. I'm tickled to death about this, but admittedly that's just superficial. Something DEEPER has changed!
We have revamped the moderator system, so that H2O operates much like you operate. Thanks to you setting a fine example, we have "reformed" OURSELVES! Sure would have been hypocritical to try reforming the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses if we cannot even reform ourselves.
Finally, I'm no longer available as a "red herring" to be used, i.e., "Rick, even if all these things are true, and it appears they are, it is YOU that is keeping everyone away!" Well, that is totally bunk according to many, but even so, it's no longer available to legitimately use as a reason! Why?
Because the proverbial "buck" no longer stops at my proverbial "cyberdesk" at H2O!
To the chagrin of many who have enjoyed so many months of "Rick bashing," the Forum Director who is a brother is also making decisions about the operation of H2O. I have slowly turned more and more decisions over to him, as I'm less involved in its day to day management. That is why I created the ID called "CogentMinded" on H2O a month or so ago, he requested something to the extent I do this so nobody can claim I'm using H2O to give weight to my views. I agreed and no longer post my views using H2O's administrative ID. You might want to do the same, Simon, because I'd love to hear your views!
Eventually, the Forum Director might take-over H2O entirely if I ever decide to bow out. Nobody knows the Forum Director like they know myself, because he never posted any of his viewpoints under his FD screen name. (I suspect he might be amongst us under another ID, and I hope so; I could have kept my ID as it relates to H2O a secret, but figured that my past outspokenness and sudden secretive new screen name would cause people to claim I was being "dishonest" if anyone figured out that "CogentMinded" was Rick! That is why I made it clear up front.)
The H2O that existed in the past has metamorphosed from its cocoon into a butterfly, sitting over there quietly with few to see its changes. Its management has also changed in that I'm having less of a role in deciding how to address problems that arise. As an analogy, I'm like the CEO whom everyone claimed ran the company into the ground (even if he personally knows this is far from truth), who decided to turn over more decision making to another executive. Even if I'm CEO, it's really in name only. H2O's Forum Director is really doing most of the decision making, although I'm working to improve myself! Wouldn't it be sad if I let Farkel's negativity injure my self-esteem to the point that I said, "Farkel's right, I'm worthless, I destroyed H2O and there's no point in trying to improve myself or H2O! I'll just sit here and punish myself with guilt until the day I croak!" Thanks to some wonderful parents my self-esteem is quite intact after Farkel and others' tirades about both H2O's and my worthlessness.
As a last analogy, I ignored the advice of those who, after trashing the place, said as their parting shot, "Rick, you did a terrible paint job and screwed up the house, so you might as well abandon it, nobody will ever occupy that ugly structure again!" Instead, I quietly worked with the Forum Director and others to rebuild the house, give it many fresh coats of paint, and even refurbish it from the foundation up with all new materials. Even new landscaping. That's probably why Farkel is even more hostile now in his replies to me. I guess his face turned beet red and ego started to deflate when he drove by the house recently. Here I tried to make peace with him, but he won't let it go. Oh well, sometimes it takes some with bigger egos longer to deflate and forgive, than others.
> I can't thank you enough for all the effort you put into H2O which helped me personally immensely as did the people who posted on it. I don't agree with some of the sentiments that have been expressed about H2O.
I would love to know what screen name you came to H2O under, so I can learn about your views in the H2O archives back to August 1996! If you don't feel comfortable revealing that information I understand.
I'm thankful to have been able to help you, which is manifest in your love for so many by extending the originally intended benefits of H2O to so many more through this site! I also had a feeling you didn't agree with some of the sentiments that have been expressed about H2O, and appreciate you confirming that. It's nice to know that I'm not the insane idiot who refuses to take his medication that Kent paints me out to be! ;-) Although I already knew that, your kind comments help solidify it.
> I agree that there is too much profanity on this board at the moment,
Amen and amen.
> too many insults and name calling
Another breath of fresh air!
> which doesn't make it the welcoming or supportive place I would want it to be - that is my headache for the short term at least.
I don't envy what you are going through. I felt a piercing pain in my heart when I was busy dousing the flames coming out of the organization, and suddenly the water pressure died. I looked over to the fire hydrant and there Farkel and a group of others stood, sneering back at me. I just laid in bed and cried that night, on that first day my eyes were opened to the realization that for every two steps H2O was moving the organization forward, the gang causing H2O to then move it three steps backwards. We live in a very fragile eco-system on this communications medium called the Internet, and it's truly like "The Glass House" that I'll never forget Goldie describing so eloquently on H2O years ago.
Rick
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68
My Turn!
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Derrick
Farkel again tries to inject his negativity in hopes of thwarting my efforts to improve H2O:
> We're all sick to death of that. H20 is now history. You wanted your golden eggs and yet in your infinite wisdom, killed the geese that gave them to you, like it or not.
You're saying that in whatever area one fails, it is hopeless? That since H2O didn't work, I shouldn't try to right what was wrong about it?
Farkel, you're as unappreciative and heartless as they come in ignoring the efforts of myself, FD2 and others to fix the problems of H2O.
You dwell on past mistakes as if they were set in stone!
Unlike others who are forgiving and willing to give others another chance, it is YOU who has nursed an ongoing grudge against myself. In spite of our cleanup of H2O and many compliments I received via email for those efforts, you continue to hammer me with these kinds of posts.
Same holds true with the Watchtower reform efforts. If these succeeded you will likely dwell on the past mistakes -- like you dwell on H2O's past errors instead of giving at least a nod of acknowledgment at our massive cleanup effort and new site.
You never even acknowledged Aimoo's upgrade of server to where loading posts and posting is instantaneous. That tells me you have never even been there, and keep harping about the past. Why not live in the present? Pretending we're in the past will not make H2O revert back to its older mistakes or cause Aimoo's massive server and bandwidth upgrades to revert back to the slow site that got so many complaints!
Face it, Farkel, H2O has been changed in every respect. Either you are unaware of this. Or it's possible a few are right in saying things like, "Farkel can't let go of a grudge against Rick," and also, "Farkel's actually been to H2O incognito, seen the server upgrades and changes of format with total lack of moderating except for issues that Simon addresses here, and this really upset his ego!" Surely they're mistaken...?
Rick
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37
A Somewhat Surprising Letter
by JanH incommentary press.
box 43532. atlanta, ga 30336-0532.
770/949-4947; fax 770/949-5601; e,mail: [email protected].
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Derrick
Hi Kent,
H2O got a similar threat from an attorney, Ms. So-and-so, to remove Farkel's "1914 for Dummies" and all "________ for Dummies" posts from H2O as a copyright infringement. We were threatened with legal action if we failed to comply with this demand. I felt H2O was too important to others to risk losing over an otherwise "freedom" issue, so I complied with their demand immediately. I also added "dummies" to the "CDA Sensor" software that filtered obscene language, that is why Farkel had to use "D*ummies" or something like that to get around it, LOL. I didn't care because I was simply fulfilling a technical legal demand, and "D*ummies" isn't the same as "Dummies" nor would it show up when the attorneys are searching for keyword "Dummies" on the search engines. (That's how they found Farkel's posts, because the simple html files for WWWBoard were on all search engines.) ;-)
They mean business, Kent, and non-compliance could risk protracted litigation and losing the Watchtower Observer site, according to what someone I know familiar with law said. Maybe you should call it "1914 for D*ummies" and add an asterisk so when they check your site, it will fail to show the trademarked word? Just a thought.
Rick
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68
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Derrick
Susie, if you re-read my post, notice I emphasized that I didn't expect monetary contributions at all in the form of funding because many are of little financial means (and I'm blessed by comparison) -- but asked for contributions in the form of posting within the forum guidelines. ANYTHING within the forum guidelines. Those who have been there and are willing to speak truthfully will attest that many posts by Jan H., Norm and Kent were highly controversial.
In fact, Susie, you know what bears witness to my truthfulness in stating that people got away with proverbial "murder" on H2O, even more so than on Simon's board today, without getting deleted?
JOSEPH MALIK and RADO VLEGUEL (darned, I can never spell the second named brother's name!), who both archived on several CD-ROM discs over 320,000 postings!
Can you fathom that many postings, Susie, on several CD's? That's over 600,000 bytes per CD. My point is that you can quickly SEARCH on most computers those CD's for Jan H. Norm or Kent (and variants like "JH", "NH" and "KS" etc.), and see the literally HUNDREDS OF MEGABYTES of their postings over almost 5 years! Now whose funds lead to the creation a library authored by these three alone (and I've just scratched the surface -- search for many other regulars here on that CD-ROM set), that is the equivalent to 10 32-volume Encyclopedia Brittanica sets? Why, little old Rick.
Sound like someone into censorship?
I would dearly love it, if somehow in the "twighlight zone" or some parallel world, we could be in this court where everyone here who has accused me of censorship, is confronted by my attorney holding a set of CD-ROM discs in his hands. In front of the Judge, he starts searching for each regular who is here now, tallying up the megabytes of their postings and printing them out. The courtroom would not have room to seat anyone by the time the last printout came out of the printer, if it were possible to wait that long! How do I know? I played with the figures one day by grep'ing the directories based on known regulars like Jan H., to see how VAST a library they had written.
I don't regret it. Some JWs have likened me to the well intentioned but infamous Oppenheimer who created the first atom bomb, would you believe! (LOL!) The gist of what they were saying, is that I gave Jan H., Norm, Kent, Tallyman, Farkel and others a platform to air their "apostate" views that resulted in a permanent electronic "library" of their writings that could "stumble" JWs for years and years to come. This is like the JW version of the atom bomb or should we call it "apostate bomb." ;-)
(In anticipation of the blind rage to likely follow, I cannot state enough times that I don't take any credit for what they posted, or even claim to have stimulated all those posts! It could have been any forum. What I'm saying is that if I were into censorship, and I had the power to stop all these posts from happening, then why didn't I delete them. THEIR POSTS ARE ESCONSED FOR 'ETERNITY', SO TO SPEAK, BECAUSE (A) I LET THEM POST, AND (B) THEY ARE ARCHIVED ON CD!)
Now, in light of the fact this archive exists (and I have copies of the first 57 H2O libraries on my huge hard drive, quickly searchable), can anyone still say "Rick" and "censorship" in the same breath? I dare anyone to.
My experience has been no different from yours in its basics, and I expect no "fame" or "fortune" and would be a fool to even go for it in this venue. I did this out of love, and that is the only reason.
Anyone without even a faint feeling of "conscience" can claim I'm into censorship knowing the CD-ROM archives of H2O containing gigabytes of postings by the "regulars" here today, exists for anyone like you to see. (I'm sure someone here can direct you to Joseph Malik who can direct you to a web site where these archives exist, so you can see for yourself how true are my words.)
I funded those gigabytes of writing, and I could have removed posts from the archives to only reflect discussions on reform, but I left each and every post! All 320,000 of them! Does anyone dare to do the math on the drive space required for 320,000 individual files on a file server? I could have run a script to delete files by Farkel, Jan H., Norm, Kent, etc., if I had an "agenda." But I made them available for years as they piled up on the server, and they were spidered to every search engine there is. You would see a post by Kent on H2O pop up on search engines when searching for certain JW subject keywords, for many years in the late 1990's to early 2001.
I have no regrets. I take no credit. I made nothing. I gave everything in my time and funds. Should I put on sackcloth and grovel now? What a lovely vision that would be. I put on sackcloth, grovel, plead for forgiveness, only to look up and see angry Tina staring down at me. That would be the last thing I see, assuredly, as she stomps on my face with a high-heel. No, sackcloth ain't for me.
No groveling for me, Susie, I'm a sinner like the rest of humankind and no "saint." My baptism might have declared my love for God and Christ but it didn't inject inhuman humility in me to the point of groveling (which I'm sure you didn't literally mean). No teary-eyed pleads for forgiveness to those incapable of forgiveness.
You're more of a "saint" than I, based on your post, not expecting anyone to appreciate your efforts! Admittedly, that was my one weaknesses, and it made me feel sad to think all my efforts might have resulted in merely entertaining people like Tina and Farkel for a while. Until they grew tired. And they have long since. Now they consider H2O as a place that can similarly help no others. The kids have moved from one "arcade" in cyberspace to a bigger one.
Shall I bow out gracefully like Obed? Keep in mind that Witnesses.net was not a place for the kind of discussions now archived for H2O over the years. Would Witnesses.net survived if Jan H. had posted over a hundred megabytes of anti-Watchtower information and reasoning against everything JWs believe? Would Obed have left Jan H.'s writings on the server to pile up for 5 years, then encourage others like Joseph Malik to esconse these postings in archives so future generations of JWs might find them and be "stumbled"? I doubt it.
(Now, on que, it's time for Farkel to chide in again, as has frequently in the past, that I can take no credit for his years of contributions - duhhh? like I ever have; and that I lack appreciation for one of those who made H2O what it is today - no comment; and that I single-handedly turned H2O into a ghost town - totally untrue if anyone wishes to review the posts still on Coolboard.com until the 29th and the CD archives back to August 1996; and etc. The truth is there for those who care about the truth.)
Rick
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68
My Turn!
by Derrick ini request the first ones to read this post, to save this post on your hard drive.
i understand this forum is not moderated, and have carefully worded this post with the utmost consideration for simon.
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Derrick
Pathoforms, you mean I was mistaken to believe all those people who begged me not to shut it down when I was ready to pull the plug on February 6, 2001?
Those who were involved with H2O know that I was not going to continue the site. I also used the excuse that I had no adequate replacement site, when emails flooded H2O requesting I find a new ISP, that H2O was filling a useful purpose. Then guess what.
Kent came to the rescue, and in a post to the old H2O (see archives from Joseph Malik), recommended Coolboard.com as the best bulletin board on the Internet at the time. I have Kent to thank for keeping it going. It's embarassing for some reason to think I was ready to close H2O and Kent's post suddenly seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks again, Kent (as I thanked you in one of the first Coolboard.com posts still there for anyone who wants to view it). For all our disagreements, I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that you helped me. Contrary to what some know-it-alls say here who really know nothing about H2O's past, I'm not thanking Kent out of sarcasm. I'm really glad he helped keep it going, because like many others he was right. H2O hasn't seen it's heyday, and could serve a useful purpose for many JWs for years to come.
Thanks for letting me know H2O was a help to you, Pathoforms. It's like any other resource, does it die because it no longer serves a useful purpose for ourselves? Should it be closed because it's in a slow period?
I honestly would have done what Obed did, and was ready to take my final bows. Then Kent recommended Coolboard.com, I was impressed (as it was lightning fast at the time), and I felt it was selfish to bow out when so many were urging me to press onward.
Rick
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68
My Turn!
by Derrick ini request the first ones to read this post, to save this post on your hard drive.
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Derrick
Dear Ticatoo, interesting you should bring that up!
"First, I am not offended by the "F" word.....What I AM offended by is the pedophile cover-ups and the bogus disfellowshipping practices of the WTB&TS....among other things. More people are hurt by the latter than the former."
Has anyone noticed that the very first thing a new visitor sees at H2O's home page ( http://www.geocities.com/hourglass2.geo/) is a major "HEADLINE" about Silentlambs' web site? Then scroll down a ways, and more major coverage! Then go to both the previous coolboard and new aimoo H2O forum sites, and at the VERY TOP is a link to...Silentlambs!
Has Simon placed a prominent link on the main page to Silentlambs? If so, I commend him! If not, I realize it's because he's busy working on it, and appreciate what he is about to do!
By the way, there is reason to believe many JWs see Silentlambs' site and decide to go there, which interferes with them clicking on the International Open Forum for Jehovah's Witnesses link. Does that bother me?
Not at all.
I'm so against pedophilia in this organization that even if the prominent positioning of Silentlambs' link were to divert ALL traffic to his site, bypassing H2O and causing it to die out, it's worth keeping our priorities straight. Silentlambs efforts to stop pedophilia has to come first.
I have no doubt that Simon feels the same! Like myself, he no doubt would rather see traffic to his site diverted to Silentlambs (then of course much of that traffic will come back) by placing a link prominently displayed on ALL Jehovahs-Witness.com forum pages to:
I once again praise the efforts of Silentlambs and hope the prominent placement of links to his site from those arriving at H2O's "portal" will bring him many more visitors, and increased public awareness of this problem.
Rick