Quandry

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Posts by Quandry

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  45

  can an unhappy married woman vent?

  by sowhatnow in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i continue to be saddened by the fact that i am married to such a selfish man.. i want to know if i am the only wife who has no say when it comes to using the house she lives in for activities including other people.. .

  let me explain.. yesterday my daugher who is 35 got a new puppy for my grandaughter who is 13. today my daughter and son in law are going to help my uncle at a job, and my granddaughter wanted to spend the day here, my daugher said shed bring her and the puppy over, i laughed and said 'your dad wont have that, ill have to go to your house'.. after all it will 'upset' the 2 cats they will hide all day [like they do anytime someone including my grandchild is in my home] .. i already knew that he would not like it if she brought the puppy over, [weve had dogs so its not like he hates them].

  he doesnt care if his grandaughter would have enjoyed playing with the puppy over grandmas house, where she likes to be for a change, and that fact that id like to see what my cats would do when they saw a dog for the first time in thier lives.. maybe id have liked to play with the puppy .. when i said to my husband that my daughter said she wanted tp bring them over he said.

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  Quandry

  Hey! Life is not over!

  When I got out of the JW organization I determined to try to get back some of the thirty plus years I was in. I went to school in earnest-got a degree at 61. I am now an elementary school teacher. I work my a$$ off but am my own person.

  YOU can do it too! If you just don't want to work, get involved in activities in a volunteer aspect. FIND a group and attach yourself.

  You cannot depend on this man for your happiness. Don't make excuses for him, and don't let him dictate your happiness. Make your own. Let him stay home and stew alone....
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  20

  Feeling down as Christmas nears

  by Quandry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think i've started but one or two threads before.

  i find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental christmas music and feeling down.. you see, i was "in" for over thirty years.

  thirty years with no christmas.

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  Quandry

  Thanks all for your replies.

  J-Dubbed-Yes, thankfully my daughter is out with us. She does come over with her husband, who has never been a JW.

  There was some resentment for awhile because we raised her as a JW. She was disfellowshipped in the most awful manner at sixteen years old by FIVE elders in a back room who humiliated and berated her, accusing her of things she did not do. She was shy, had never been in any trouble, was an honor student, etc.She was friends with other girls in the congregation who were apparently doing some bad things, and my daughter was accused with them, even though they tried to tell the B@S^%^s that she was not involved.

  That is what began our exit from the cult. You might say my rose colored glasses were slapped off my face when I realized how "spiritual shepherds" could speak to a young person, and how quickly they look to throw them away.

  Sometimes it takes something extreme for a person to see this group as it really is.

  I can only tell you that you may have to swallow expecially hard and include the new wife in your invitations.

  Sorry for that realization.
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  20

  Feeling down as Christmas nears

  by Quandry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think i've started but one or two threads before.

  i find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental christmas music and feeling down.. you see, i was "in" for over thirty years.

  thirty years with no christmas.

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  Quandry

  J-Dubbed-I love your name and welcome to the forum.

  I went back and looked at some of your posts. The one about your son being mad about being lied to about Santa, etc. made me remember feeling the same. It's hard to remember back that far. When I became a JW I was 21 and now I am 63.

  I do wish to tell you that initially my parents and I argued a lot. This really only made me dig my heels in further. You know how it is when you are young and on your "high horse." You mentioned in an earlier post that you were going to have coffee with your son. How did that go?

  My best advice is to tell your son how proud of him you are (swallow hard) and try to get him to feel good about himself. Wish I could offer more than that. Just don't get him on the defensive.
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  20

  Feeling down as Christmas nears

  by Quandry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think i've started but one or two threads before.

  i find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental christmas music and feeling down.. you see, i was "in" for over thirty years.

  thirty years with no christmas.

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  Quandry

  Thanks, guys. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and so many have it so much worse. Thanks for thinking of me.
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  20

  Feeling down as Christmas nears

  by Quandry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think i've started but one or two threads before.

  i find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental christmas music and feeling down.. you see, i was "in" for over thirty years.

  thirty years with no christmas.

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  Quandry

  I don't think I've started but one or two threads before. I find myself sitting here listening to beautiful instrumental Christmas music and feeling down.

  You see, I was "in" for over thirty years. Thirty years with no Christmas. My parents felt abandoned, and rightly so. They grieved and wished for my company, sitting all alone. Me? Oh, I had so many "friends" with which to spend my time-going out in service, doing anything but going home to be with my parents. Now they are both gone, and I am feeling the weight of all the loneliness I now have. The many years wasted-given to the WTS.

  I would give anything to invite my parents to my home, serve them a wonderful dinner, and sing Christmas songs together.

  If you have parents that are still alive, please call and go see them. If you are shunned, please know that I grieve with you.

  I hate the WT.
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  26

  Graduation and Pinning

  by sooner7nc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  giving my speech.

  being pinned by my son.. .

  the best day ever.. .

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  Quandry

  Congratulations! A happy day, and promise of a bright future with a worthwhile career!
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  45

  HELP ME COMPILE A LIST OF DISCARDED WORDS AND PHRASES from the WTS

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in fort worth, texas around 1959. gradually i became aware of the argot.

  special, private language).

  jw's had these phrases they used over and over again.. upon first hearing, these words and phrases stood out as odd, weird or awkward.. however.

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  Quandry

  Circuit Servant

  Book Study goodie night

  Egyptian for a wordly person

  Vacation pioneer
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  40

  Here we go again. The next hate letter from our 2nd Son.

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes it happen again with our youngest son.

  this last monday we got a letter from him telling us how unloving we are because we are no longer jw.

  cult and not had kids.

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  Quandry

  So sorry you have to deal with this.

  I agree with Etna.

  First, that you were sent a letter means that your children miss you terribly. They are just responding in anger because they so desperately want things back as they were..when you were a "united, theocratic family."

  My advice? Send a lovely letter with your greetings in the kindest, most loving way possible. Tell them how wonderful it is to hear from them. Then, yes, quote the issue of the awake stating that no one should be forced to choose between beliefs and family. Since that is the case, you'd love to receive a visit from them and the grandchildren. Maybe send a thought about a vacation you took as a family when they were young, or how you read to them at night, etc.

  Then, and this might be hard to do, I heartily reccomend sending a check so that they could buy something nice for their family.

  Maybe include some photos, and let them know of some interesting outing you've been on.

  I'd be interested to know what their reaction is.

  Hope the best for you, Quandy
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  41

  What do you want for Christmas?

  by Hortensia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's ok to share your xmas wishes here -- none of us is going to buy you anything, anyway!.

  i have a list of books on my wishlist at amazon, some about critical thinking, some about knitting, some about yurok indian basketry.

  i wouldn't mind getting any of those.

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  Quandry

  I like diamonds.....
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  14

  Merry Christmas to all of you on JWN and to those of you that have escaped mind control!

  by RayPublisher in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  merry christmas people!

  here's my take on xmas.

  enjoy this lovely close to 2014 my friends:.

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  Quandry

  Thank you for the Christmas wishes. My tree with all the trimmings is up, lights are on the house outside, and soon there will be presents under the tree.

  Merry Christmas to all!