Posts by detective

160

Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know there's no such word as "witnessy" but this can be a fun thread.

How to Deal with Shunners Part I. It Is They Who are Afraid

by jst2laws in

shunners, they are afraid.

how to deal with them.

having been df'd about a year ago for apostasy (the sin of thinking for yourself without disengaging your mouth) i have taken advantage of several opportunities to speak to local jw's.

detective

Winston:

Another recent experience was when I went to the Pixies concert a few days ago

You just cut through my soul. Jealous. Deeply, jealous. Come home, Pixies, come home!

Isn't the language the Pixies use in their songs, say, a little "blue" for good Jehovah's Witnesses?

My favorite amigo just got shunned last week. Without giving it away (and I would because the circumstance in which my friend and the shunners came into contact with each other was very public and would be easily identifiable to those there...wouldn't want to give any hints)...

as I was saying, without giving it away... my boy did well. He handled it like a champ. Though the look of horror he had on his face when I offered to go over and have a word with that dismal looking couple- that was priceless! I'm such a scary she-beast, but he should know better to think I'd sink to that level of drama! Yawn. Shun this, you weenies!

Uh, that said, I'm all better now. Can't mention Pixies and shunning in one post or my head explodes. In seriousness, the only real concerns my friend expressed from the Saturday Night Shun-off he was experiencing was the feeling that the news of the sighting would immediately get back to his family. But it was a good moment for him. One that, if his family were immediately told about it (seeing as word tends to spread fast, no?), they'd hear something about another one of his many accomplishments. So if he felt sad that he couldn't share it firsthand with his family, he'll still be okay. He's a winner like that.

39

You mean Britain has increasing violent crime? I'm Shocked, Shocked!!

by CaptainSchmideo in

[ previous week | recent columns index | following week ]have great britain's restrictive gun laws contributed to the rise in violent crime?.

dear cecil:.

detective

Gun control... oh please!

Being a progressive thinker, I'm already looking forward to knife control! Spork, anyone?

Now, off to listen to my Spice Girls albums...

7

Girl Sues School District for Distributing Religious...

by Confucious in

iverpool, new york (ap) -- a fourth-grader and her mother claim a school district violated the girl's constitutional rights to free speech and equal protection by refusing to allow her to distribute "personal statement" fliers to other students because they carried a religious message.

the lawsuit was filed thursday in u.s. district court against the liverpool central school district by nicole martin and her daughter, michaela bloodgood.

according to the lawsuit, the school district near syracuse repeatedly denied martin's requests for michaela to pass out a homemade "personal statement" flier to other students at nate perry elementary school.

detective

I'm sure Michaela will fondly remember as she grows into adulthood, the good old days, back when Mom decided make her the unfortunate puppet in mom's religious agenda. Those were the days, weren't they? The after school beatings, the taunting classmates, the outcast status. Apparently Jesus came into her life just long enough to tattoo "freakshow" on Michaela's forehead.

Thanks, mom.

17

3 Weddings --------------> NO PARENTS ATTENDED !

by Rabbit in

just a few weeks ago i was trying to console bryan, whose jw daughter had informed him -- he was not welcome at her wedding.

i told him this has happened twice to me already...http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/79259/1287354/post.ashx#1287354 (sorry the link doesn't seem to work, you may have to copy n' paste it)

well, i just found out...all my kids are now married.

detective

Man. It just never quits, does it? A cult's work is never done.

I'm sorry for your heartbreak. I hope you can continue to look forward to the positive relationships you will have with your children in the future. No, not the pet-the-tiger post-armageddon fantasy future... the reality based future where people grow... and outgrow cult influences. It can happen. And when it does, it'll be so sweet.

Thinking of you.

40

My daughter is getting married today!!!! But I'm too EVIL to attend...

by Bryan in

.

i wonder who the noe-jehovah s.o.b is that's walking my daughter down the isle?.

bryan

detective

Oh, Bryan. Sorry.

I will never forget the look on my beloved's face last year when he opened the wedding RSVP from his parents. The only thing on it were the handwritten words "will not attend". He knew his mother had wanted to come after speaking to her. He really thought she would. But so much for wishing for a normal life. He just sank back in his chair and kept saying, "I can't believe it". He didn't cry... in front of me. Then again, he was still reeling from the fact that two non-jw relatives he was going to invite had died, without his parents bothering to mention it to him. I've never met his father before but I almost hate him (and I really don't hate anybody).

I'm so sorry for you, Bryan. I really am. I hope your daughter will come around and show her love for you again. It could happen. I really hope it does.

20

THE CURSE IS DEAD! RED SOX WIN! RED SOX NATION IS SET FREE!

by confusedjw in

on a night with a total eclipse of the moon.. in a year that manny hit a ball that hit a young boy in the mouth at fenway park in boston - the boy lived in the house that babe ruth lived in.. 100 years after last beating the yankees in a winner take all, final season game.. after being the first team in baseball history to come back from 0-3 in any post season series to beat the yankees - the greatest comeback in sports history.. after selling babe ruth to the yankees in 1920 - who then said the red sox wouldn't win a world series for 100 years.. beating the cardinals, the best team in baseball this year - in 4 straight.. not since 1918 - the red sox are champions of the world!.

the curse of babe ruth is dead.. for you tom yawkee.

(long long time owner of the red sox who passed away without ever seeing this.).

detective

Well, whaddya know...

good morning fans of the WORLD CHAMPION Boston Red Sox!!!!

8

SOX WIN IN FOUR GAME SWEEP

by hillbilly in

sox win sox win sox win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

billy buckner will get his first whole nites sleep in 18 years.

the curse is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

detective

Hipster, Bosox stands for the Boston Red Sox. They are a baseball team.

Oh wait, sorry.

They'd be the WORLD CHAMPIONS of baseball.

It's also definitive proof that there is a god!

Red Socks rock!

42

Red Sox, Yankees and my Comforter w/ special POWERS - a love story.

by confusedjw in

the red sox are down 3 games to 0 on sunday.

as the hours get late i pull out a comforter from the closet, not realizing the special powers it holds.

the red sox win it in extra innings on a david ortiz home run and comforter on the couch.

detective

JohnnyJohnnyJohnnyJohnny!

daviddaviddavid!

Derekderek!

Sox!!

(nomar)

26

Oh my poor Red Sox and my Broken Heart

by confusedjw in

i really thought this would be the year.. george has purchased and all-star hitting team and the yankees.

no pitching can stop them.. damn evil empire.. and now pedro will end up a yankee next year on top of it all.. .

i'm going to sulk about this and be miserable for a while.. - red sox nation

detective

It's bad. It's bad. I'm starting to feel... optimistic. Must be the exhaustion from staying up every freakin' night and getting up at the crack of dawn.

I've had a bad feeling about this series since the beginning. I want to be wrong. Please be wrong. Optimism is bad. At least it's bad when it comes to the Red Sox. Damn. Arrrgh! believe. Don't believe. Believe. Don't believe. Cowboy what?!?

I...can't...believe...