Thanks for sharing your story. It is good that you are feeling better now. It looks like you've come up with your own religion based on your familiar Witness upbringing. I, too, have felt better lately. Not only have I completely rejected the Watchtower Society, but I have come to see the Bible as a mere man made book and Yahweh (YHWH, incorrectly translated as Jehovah) as no more real than Zeus, Thor, or the FSM (Ramen!).
If you hate the Bible and are looking for that excuse, you'll find it.
Fail. If I know the Bible better than you do and well enough to say that it is filled with myths and contradicions, do you think it is because I hate it? I do not. I know it better now than I even did as a Witness. I was raised by a pioneer mother and an elder father. My mother studied with me in the old pink Paradise book. I gave my first talk at the age of seven in 1975. I even remember the scripture that it was based on (Luke 14). I got baptised when I was 14. I later became a Ministerial servant. I was a Watchtower reader. I learned Spanish to reach out to immigrants. In time I was a Spanish book study conductor and Watchtower reader. I wasn't looking at dates. 1975 didn't phase my parents in the least. 1995? Not a problem to me. September 2001 didn't worry me one bit.
In fact the Watchtower Society's interpretation of the Bible never bothered me. It was the Bible itself that failed to make sense more and more as time passed. In 2006 I finally allowed myself to look at the Bible without the Watchtower publications as a guide. I read Who Wrote the Bible? by Richard Friedman, which is an excellent introduction to the Documentary Hypothesis; Is It God's Word? by Joseph Wheless; and Biblical Nonsense by Dr. Jason Long. I can't begin to tell you how much relief I felt when I saw all the absurdities and contradictions laid out so plainly for all to see. I then began to realize that these were the kinds of books that the Watchtower Society and similar religious businesses don't want their customers laity to know about. Without the Bible, they have no claim on authority. Indeed, without the Bible, neither Yahweh nor Jesus stand up to historical scrutiny.
No, I don't hate the Bible. I just see it for what it is. So, Silent, you're not outside the box yet. Enjoy the good feelings while they last.
Being so born and taught, so I naturally believed. For religious belief is all but exclusively a matter of birth and early teaching, of environment. A man takes and holds, though often most indifferently, the religion, or brand of belief, of his fathers, of his family. Born a pagan, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Mohammedan, a Mormon, that he remains, except one time in many thousands, through life...
- Joseph Wheless
Dave