this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.
well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.
like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.
Nathan that's actually a really good idea. I gave up a university scholarship because it was too worldy to go to uni *shakes head* what a stupid decision that was ... but the army offers some great stuff i'll look into it thanks!
As for everyone else well thanks your posts have been helpful and ya emails too :) I think more then anything i've realised there is a life after jws ... encouraging
this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.
well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.
like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.
Hey guys :)
Trish I got the same sort of response that its an attention thing you only do it cause no ones paying attention to u but that's not it at all. And by pretending nothings happened and that everythings great afterwards just makes it worse u feel like doing it again and getting it right this time. Are all jw families the same with stuff like suicide just shut off and can't deal with it? Like i'm over it now it was a few years ago but at the time I was just shocked how they even insisted I get back to the very first meeting I could and I knew it was only to show face. Do any of u have pics? Lemme see ;) I've got one on my yahoo profile http://profiles.yahoo.com/lukania
Trota thank ya very much what you've said makes perfect sense. There's no point just announcing something this big it'll only bring everything crashing down. Gotta have things in place before telling them. I get so close to telling them sometimes though like yesterday during watchtower preperation they made a smart lil quip about my lack of effort to get baptised or progress I just shruged and we kept reading but ugh i'd of liked to tell em. A few weeks ago I found an article on bbc about pedophiles in the jws and I wasn't suprised cause a young witness friend of mine (he moved away a long time ago) told me he was abused by a brother in his last congregation and nothing was done although I didn't really believe him then, I do after reading that article. So I printed it and showed it to my grandparents who both said well yes this is serious but for legal reasons the society can't just announce pedophiles names over the mic afterall they're trying to change so I thought reasonable enough and asked them to show it to the elders. Well the elder read it, told them to tear it up and that it was apostate nonsense and expressed concern that I may have had my spirituality damaged by reading it. I confided in an elder a problem I was having a few months ago and after the 1 time I talked to him never again has he approached me or asked how I was going or anything. Same as my witnessing i've been putting in a report every month but haven't gone for what maybe 5 or 6 months but the sad part is no ones noticed. I haven't been to any witnessing groups (and i was really regular before that) and then I just stopped and no one said a thing hehe doesn't suprise me though after reading through some of the posts on here
Well i better have breakfast ... bye guys :)
this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.
well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.
like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.
Thanks searcher that makes sense. It's just a relief to know there are others who have been through exactly the same thing. Good thing I found this site :)
this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.
well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.
like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.
Ty beetle and grit for ya quick replys. Unfortunetly moving out isn't really an option. I'm only 17 the business it still new so everythings in flux right now. I graudated high school when I was 15, went to work for the government nearly right away in the financial analysis department. Got a good grasp of big figures and how much I like em there hehe Then my contract finished and I used nearly all my money to setup this business an internet cafe. Its going okay but no where near enough to pay for my rent or anything if I moved out :\ And besides my grandparents need me at home their too old to do stuff around the house.
I did try talking to them about the suicide grit but it didn't work. They just sorta seized up and said 'well its good that you've got that outta your system now'. I was meant to be baptized 2 years ago with all the other kids (it seemed as though as soon was 1 of the elders daughters got baptised it was the cool thing and all the kids went for a swim) .. so for 2 years i've heard nothing but 'when r u getting baptised' at home and at the hall lol can't win ....
I just can't see a way of leaving the truth without breaking everything apart (which is really what i want to do).. and I know they won't want me to live at home if I wasn't a jw .... u know what jw familys are like
Edited by - AlphaPlus on 27 July 2002 9:45:22
this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.
well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.
like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.
This is gonna take a while so bear with me ...
I dunno where to start. Well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else. Like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap. I've pretty much resigned to the fact I have to leave the truth (3 day convention comming up soon) ugh I can hear the talks about how difficult it is to be a teen these days already ....
Anyways its not quite as easy as just going. My dad left the truth in his teens, married my mum only because she was pregnant (with me) ... they divorced after 5 years and after a very messy trial and all the like I was given to my dad who gave me to my grandparents. Ahhhh a grandchild to raise in the truth they thought ... make up for all the mistakes they made with my dad. So I was the last way to carry on the jw line. The pressure since the day of moving in (even when I was 6) was incredible. I was never a child. They continually pushed me to do better in school and be really smart and spiritually minded and then when I was and got a very good paying job (own my own business now) suddenly i'm labelled materialistic and need to be brought back into line but thats a whole other story. I love my grandparents they've done so much for me (i was a really screwed up kid cause of the divorce and such) and I know that leaving the truth will kill them. And I know they love me but they really have no idea how to show it (i blame that on them being jw's). I tried to commit suicide a few years ago and when I arrived home a few days later not a word was said. No asking why no asking if I was okay in fact they didn't even visit the hospital it must have been to traumatic to see me in such an unspiritual state. But when i got home it was like let's just move on and hope this doesn't jeopodise your chances of getting baptised (which thankfully i've managed to put off so far.) And conversation at home revolves around nothing but spiritual things and sure thats okay but man how much can ya take? Nearly all of my friends and at least 90% of the people I know are jw's in fact i'm having dinner at ones tonight so if I leave I lose nearly everyone I know. Damn that must be hard how did any of u get past that? Especially when u were raised in the truth?
Sorry this isn't really structured the way it should be and only half goes into the detail it should but I dunno i'm sick of thinking about it i guess. what should i do? stay in the truth to keep the family together that's done so much for me or break out and kill em all? I wonder how many rules i've broken posting this hehe
