This must me a hurtful time and I feel for you because I was just given an Eler's meeting for the same thing, but my husband is "worldly" and they are giving me literature on the topic of reasons to leave you mate. Also, I am going through the same as Garybuss and my mother is causing problem and "tattling" on me.
Your wife will be told that spirituality with Jehovah is first and you may lose her if she is really brainwashed. They all have such a way and are trained in areas you don't know.
I go to the meetings to please people and I also think it is a book selling racket. I am moving next week to a new town 500 km away. My husband and I have to do this to escape the mind games and fear presented by the WT. If we don't do this, we may not last.
you need support and understanding. Even though you are the head of the home, the elders will meet with your wife apart from you, they did it with me and encourage you to continue going to them for help. They also put things in a way that does not mar their reputation so it looks like they were involved in any divorce or separation discissions.
gaurd your heart and get ready, don't be surprised at anything!
lila