can someone tell the wts/jw's how utterly counter productive & cruel shunning is?.
apart from serious crimes where a person might conscientiously have nothing to do with a friend/relative, people who are struggling with any kind of issues generally need love, support & kindness.. shunning is unnecessary, evil & humiliating.. does the punishment really fit the crime?
someone caves into the 'sins of the flesh' so they are cut off from all human contact with everyone they know?.
The thing of it is, the idea that shunning will make them come running back is a crock of shit and the society knows it.
The reason they enforce shunning is to seperate the believers from former believers, they do not want the XJWs telling the current JWs what they know.
Its simply damage control, it has nothing to do with trying to teach that errant sheep a lesson.
through out my 10yrs.
of being involved w/ the organization i have witnessed a many pyhsical abuse.and i even have been to a many different halls, in which i saw the same abuse on children.the last thing that had made me leave was a case of childabuse, in which no elders nor any one did anything to help these poor children, so i reported them and the children were taken from the home that day, the husband went to jail then prision for a probation violation by hurting the children.the little one of age 5 was punched in the face, then kicked down a flight of stairs..this was it for me, after reporting this, i left the organization and never looked back..how sad, when people just stood by and watched this happen, even an elder's wife, and no one did anything to help these poor children.and the beatings i witnessed in the bathrooms was just awful.after my research of this dangerous cult, and then the beatings of the children was enough for me to take my 5 year old daughter and myself out of this dangerous organization and never look back.
yes, we lost a many frineds, but i still keep in contact w/ some of my jw"s friends who sneek over at times to visit me..i sure pray that god will helo them escape this dangerous organization before its too late..
Designs,
You gave a talk that encouraged parents to not spank their children, seriously? Or was it about not spanking them "to hard"?
Either way, its a shocker. I have never, EVER, in 30 some years of being a witness, heard any brother caution against spanking to hard.
The talks have always been "you better spank those kids!"
Welcome Shel54401!
why can't people in jw congregations see just how utterly creepy this whole arrangement is?.
a girl about 20 years old commits an indescretion of a sexual nature.
three middle aged/old men 'interview' her in a room.
Well said Sizemik
It apears that GBs intentions are good, hes trying to be the good guy and help people.
And this is what I mean when i say that members of this forum, who think they are helping by being "nice" elders are doing way more harm then the hard nose elders are.
No matter how nice and well intentioned you are, you are still not qualified to "assist" a rape victim.... period, no exceptions.
Your well meaning, but ignorant, questions, comments and advice harm people, it is like a second rape.
so, i'm new to the site lurked around for a week or so now before signing up.
i'll try to keep this first post short.
just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization".
Welcome Gonzo, glad your here!
why can't people in jw congregations see just how utterly creepy this whole arrangement is?.
a girl about 20 years old commits an indescretion of a sexual nature.
three middle aged/old men 'interview' her in a room.
Gubberningbody, regarding your post #1396 (sorry, I cant cut and paste)
With all due respect, what qualified you to ask those questions and come to those conclusions about people?
And are you saying that you would ask a rape victim those questions?
ok, more accurately my amateur standing, but i made you look!.
i have now been paid for two pieces of non fiction writing on business subjects, and i have a third in the works.. .
no, it isn't lots of money, but i'm officially a free lance writer.
that is so cool
i am jealous
coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.
here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.
no one is crying, no one is talking.
So sorry to hear of your loss.
why can't people in jw congregations see just how utterly creepy this whole arrangement is?.
a girl about 20 years old commits an indescretion of a sexual nature.
three middle aged/old men 'interview' her in a room.
The society is just like the catholic church in that it views adult/child sex as equal to adult/adult sex.
In other words, they think a child can consent to sex and be just as guilty as the adult.
An 8 year old family member was assaulted over a prolonged period of time by a 15 year old elder son.
The first thing the elders asked the girls parents was "do you think she could have seduced him?"
and among other things, they asked the 8yo child "did you like it?"
We were close with another JW family, great kids, dad was an elder and beat the wife and kids on a regular basis, and the whole congo knew about it, it was just that obvious.
It came to light that the dad had been having sex with the oldest daughter since she was 10 years old, she was 16 at that time. The elders disfellowshipped both for immorailty. then they DFed the Mom because she would not obey them and stick with her hubby. She grabbed the kids and ran, she was DFed for "willful disobediance".
Any poster on this forum who thinks they can remain an elder and "help people" is seriously dissilusioned and harming people.
today while i was working i remembered a wt on there having to be two witness to a person who comes forward later in life saying he had been molested as a chld and i was thinking no it really could not have been to blatant like i remembered it.
sadly i did find it and no i remembered it right.
it to me is sick!
Lifeistoshort knows what she is talking about, she lived it.
Standfirm is spouting rules, she/he has never experinced one of these fiascos that elders make victims go through. All he/she knows is what he/she has read or what the society has told him/her. Standfirm has no first hand experience with how the elders deal with these matters.
I was assaulted by a respected member of the congregation. My family loves me and pretty much no one has any love for my abuser. But no one in my family believes me when i tell them how the elders handled it, they just make excuses. They are in complete denial as to how these things are handled, just like most JWs who have never experinced it themselves.
why can't people in jw congregations see just how utterly creepy this whole arrangement is?.
a girl about 20 years old commits an indescretion of a sexual nature.
three middle aged/old men 'interview' her in a room.
Violia, your story is heartbreaking. And just in case anyone out there does not believe you, or thinks that it is an isolated incident, I can verify that this is how the elders deal with rape.
A very close friend of mine was raped by four men, the elders wanted to know every last detail, in the end they disfellowshipped her for immorality. It did not matter that she was drugged and tied up. What mattered to them was that she had been drinking, she was at a worldly party and she had been DFed once previously for fornication. So to them she was asking for it.
That is how the elders treat rape victims, it is disgusting, they are assholes, everyone of them should have to endure being raped and then have to plead there innocence, alone, in front of a panel of judges.
