Posts by digderidoo

14

talk me off the cliff please

by sowhatnow in

my son, at age 25 finally, was able to get accepted into a community college.

but i dont have words of joy to share with him.

im instead dizzy with fear of possible financial failure.

Good for him, he's decided to get an education. I started my education at 37, the best thing I ever did. He'll be 35 when he gets to where he wants to be and will have 30 years of working in an environment he enjoys. Would you rather he be stuck in a job he doesn't enjoy for the rest of his working life? I doubt it.

At 25 he is a man now, allow him to make his own choices regarding student debt. He is correct about free online classes, they are good for learning but not if you want an accreditation to take into employment.

Starting studying at 25 is not late in life. Be happy for him, congratulate him and encourage him.

51

Is this a discussion forum or a debating forum , which is it ?

by smiddy in

jw
friends

do you get confused sometimes whether this site is a discussion forum or a debating forum ?.

just asking.

whats your thoughts.. smiddy.

digderidoo

Anything that can be contentious tend to be posted in the politics forum. If I recall that was created a few years after this site was set up, in large due to debating occurring on the regular discussion sections.

There are a number of posters who enjoy debating and having a separate section as in the politics forum can be a good thing, leaving other sections for those who maybe still JW's or lurking around for Watchtower related discussions.

34

Congregation that have sent in money!

by DwainBowman in

in the past week, i have heard from a number of friends scattered all over the place.

a number of them are very upset over the congregation being required, to send in all monies over $4,000.

a number of these were kh's that were saving to buy land, and or build new kh's.

digderidoo

There is an argument with regards to gifts that if you are giving it on a condition, as in the case of building work, that you have created a trust for that purpose. Even though legally the local congregation owns the money they cannot from a legal standpoint use that money for any purpose they desire, it is being held on trust for the purpose it was given.

A trust doesn't have to be declared in that situation, a court will find that one has been created constructively.

Whether the individual has the balls to sue the society and/or local congregation, or even ask for their money back is another matter.

35

Site Update: Jan 10, 2015

by Simon in

i've made some updates to the user section of the site.

besides some cosmetic tweaks the most notable new feature is the ability to see a listing of the topics someone has posted on - this includes topics they started as well as topics they replied to.. it will look like this when you go to a user page or your own profile page:.

simon.

digderidoo

Digderidoo: Hi Simon
I'm having an issue on how to send a private message. If I click on the user profile where is the button to send a message? Or does it work differently with this new format?

Doesn't matter now, I've figured it out.

35

Site Update: Jan 10, 2015

by Simon in

i've made some updates to the user section of the site.

besides some cosmetic tweaks the most notable new feature is the ability to see a listing of the topics someone has posted on - this includes topics they started as well as topics they replied to.. it will look like this when you go to a user page or your own profile page:.

simon.

digderidoo

Hi Simon

I'm having an issue on how to send a private message. If I click on the user profile where is the button to send a message? Or does it work differently with this new format?

14

Any luck kicking the bottle?

by Ignoranceisbliss in

jw
friends

as i continue my sllllooooooowwwwwww fade one of the things that i want to do is better myself as a person.

one of my biggest pitfalls has always been drinking.

i don't think i am an alcoholic but at the same time i've never been a very good drinker.

digderidoo

Digeridoo. Am I an alchoholic. That is a question that I have thought a lot about. And I really don't know the answer. I definitly share some of the traits though. I suppose that if I am then really truly admitting that to myself is an important First step. That is a difficult thing to come to terms with.

If you've thought about whether or not you are an alcoholic then my suggestion would be to find your local AA meetings, every city has a number of meetings and you don't have to be an alcoholic to attend, 'the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking' is what is often stated. You'll not find the stereotypical park bench types of alcoholics, I was surprised to find 'normal' every day people, all of whom had a drink problem.

Nobody will call you an alcoholic, as it's self diagnosing. There is no commitment, nobody asks for your surname and you don't have to speak if you don't want to, just listen. If you approach with an open mind and try one meeting, or possibly two or three and you don't like it nobody is ever going to chase you up. If you decide that it isn't for you then try alternatives for those who haven't crossed that line into alcoholism.

You may get some identification and it may help you to decide whether you are an alcoholic or not.

It is difficult to come to terms with, at the same time once I finally accepted what I was it became more of a release as suddenly there was an explanation for my drinking years.

For me the only way to solve the drink problem was to surround myself with people who had solved the drink problem, to find out how they had done it and copy them. It involved action, I couldn't find those people by sitting at home and continuing to drink.

Alcoholic or problem drinker I wish you well, my advice would be just to approach either with an open mind free from the stigma, which is something that you have started to do by posting here.

14

Any luck kicking the bottle?

by Ignoranceisbliss in

jw
friends

as i continue my sllllooooooowwwwwww fade one of the things that i want to do is better myself as a person.

one of my biggest pitfalls has always been drinking.

i don't think i am an alcoholic but at the same time i've never been a very good drinker.

digderidoo

I think a big issue would be if drinking is having a negative impact on your health or your life situation.

I'd respectfully disagree ... why wait until that point?

Wouldn't a better definition be that if you have one drink, you feel on edge or frustrated unless you have another? Or maybe if someone were to drink on their emotions, on their feeling and fears, to give oneself confidence to be able to face situations? I used to drink to wind down, without a drink I'd feel frustrated or wound up in some way, sometimes nothing major, just in my own head.

There are many alcoholics or problem drinkers who function quite normally with regards to jobs, family and house situations, I've met lawyers, doctors, teachers, policeman and many others who are alcoholics. From a personal point of view my health never suffered in the long term, I also never had a DWI and at one point in my many years of alcoholism had a successful business, none of which was a barrier to me being an alcoholic.

14

Any luck kicking the bottle?

by Ignoranceisbliss in

jw
friends

as i continue my sllllooooooowwwwwww fade one of the things that i want to do is better myself as a person.

one of my biggest pitfalls has always been drinking.

i don't think i am an alcoholic but at the same time i've never been a very good drinker.

digderidoo

I gave up the drink about 7 years ago now, though had a couple of relapses, but continuously sober now coming five years and the best thing I ever did. For years I wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic due to the stigma mainly, I always looked at other drinkers who were worse than me and concinced myself I wasn't alcoholic.

The first step is confronting and admitting the issue, you've done that here which is a big thing. The next step is to ask genuinely whether you are an alcoholic or a problem drinker. The thing I have picked up on in your post is when you say 'I don't think I am an alcoholic ...', by saying 'I don't think' means that you don't know, although at this stage you see yourself as more of a problem drinker.

For either issue alcoholism v problem drinking there are solutions. For the first there is AA or some other program aimed at alcoholics, for the latter there maybe counselling, or educate yourself on the effects of drinking to your body. Either way it is best to approach with an open mind, maybe even try an AA meeting and if it's not for you then try something else such as the medical profession, or counselling.

It took me a long time to figure out why I drank, it also took me a long time to admit I'd crossed the line to becoming an alcoholic ... I was never the park bench type, I never drank in the morning and never drank vodka, never went to prison, never had medical alcohol issues, never lost my licence, therefore it was easy to convince myself that I was just a problem drinker.

I am not saying that you are an alcoholic, I don't know, but picking up on the fact that you are not sure tends to mean that you have thought along those lines at some point yourself. If moderate drinking isn't working it maybe an idea to have an open mind on the issue. Either way, problem drinking or an alcoholic there are solutions, which start with confronting the issue head on.

180

Please post new forum feedback or questions here

by Simon in

well, the switchover happened - there were a couple of things i had to fix which meant the posting was disabled for longer than i planned but it's now enabled and some people have already posted.. if you have any questions about the new format or suggestions on how to improve it, please post them here.. if you are having trouble signing in or posting then you'll need to email me instead.. many thanks to everyone for their patience during the changeover !.

digderidoo

Nice new forum ... just some feedback, on signing in it asks for your email and password. I was unable to sign in using my email, though I could do using my username in the email box.

52

Steve Pinker ... evidence on the surprising decline in violence

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

this is an interesting lecture.

one that flies in the face of current jw and i assume most non jw thinking.

evidence shows that when examining history mankind was more violent over the centuries than they were during the 20th and 21st century.

digderidoo

In any event, the Bible says that a time 'free from care' is when the hammer drops, coinciding with Steve's research.

He doesn't suggest we live in a time 'free from care' ... if you'd have listened to his lecture he highlights the wars and genocides that have happened both this and the last century. He is arguing though that violence has declined, very different from saying we live in a time of peace.