Posts by done4good

there appears to be many advantages to fading out of the 'truth' as opposed to a full blown "i don't believe it and i'm out of here regardless of consequences'' policy.. reading others postings and experiences here and my own local experiences i can truly see why many do so.

i remember during the later stages of my still attending meetings talking to a couple who had stopped going to meetings a few years before.

done4good

I was fortunate enough not to really require an all out "fade". Mine lasted only a few months, and the hints, (from me), came quickly and progressively.

This is not the case, for many, if not most ex-jws. If I learned one thing after leaving, it's that moral absolutes, (even with good principles, such as honesty), don't really exist. The principles behind them do, (it is generally good to be honest), and it is good to follow them. However, there is a fine line between being morally upright, in terms of honesty, and being fanatical, in terms of honesty's definition. The way I look at this, is like this, if the end result causes more hurt, (to self, others, etc), then maybe the best route is to keep the peace, and quietly fade, even if it involves a level of deception.

How far should one go, is anyones guess. Personally, I find it a bit hard to accept those who continue to "play the game", as they would as if a full-fledged dub, (i.e. still an elder, still giving talks, still in FS). But even then, who am I to have an opinion about their situation. I don't know the how's and why's, for their so doing.

j

49

I'm Hungry! Describe your "perfect" hamburger or hot dog.

by journey-on in

jw
friends

mine is a hamburger cooked medium well with fresh home grown tomato, lettuce, purple onion, mustard and mayo...no ketchup...kosher pickle on the side.. the bun must be toasted and preferably either sesame seed or poppy seed.

u-m-m-m.

done4good

Based on my northern NJ roots:

Hamburger: White Mana, (The one with one "n" in Hackensack, not the 2 "n" version in Jersey City).

Hot Dog: An "All the Way" dog, (Chili sauce, minced onions, mustard), from The Hot Grill in Clifton. Add a side with fries with cheese and brown gravy...

This is making me want to go for the two hour drive north...

j

95

What was your first car?

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

mine was an old fiat 127, i bought it 1983 and it was at least fifteen years old then!

the seats were vinyl and there were no rear seatbelts so i could send my girlfriend and her sister flying with each bend in the road!

it wouldn't go above 55mph and was rattling like rollercoaster when it finally got there.. the rear window fell out and it finally croaked in puff of blue/black smoke.

done4good

'78 Nova. 250 I-6. Yes, it was the two door version...Floors were rotted out, but the damn thing wouldn't die.

j

162

Blondie needs encouragement

by blondie in

jw
friends

i have been battling an incurable illness and will be able to post less and less.

i will post my email, and any help you cna asend my way will be appreciated.

there is treatment but no cure and no cancer yet.

done4good

(((Blondie)))

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jason

41

What affected you more, growing up in the cult, or a dysfunctional family?

by Bumble Bee in

i think for me, it was the dysfunctional family.

things from my childhood are finally getting to me.

i've tried for so long to just push them to the back of my mind.

done4good

My family was pretty dysfunctional, however manageable, before the cult. The jws fed fuel to the dysfunction. It became unmanageable.

j

155

What Do You Do for Work / Career?

by BlackPearl in

jw
friends

i've been on the board for quite a while now and was wondering, what do my fellow jwdr's do for work, employment or career?

me, i'm in probably one of the most hated careers in america right now.

(not gonna tell you what it is either) but how about you, what do you do to earn a little coin?.

done4good

Sr. Field Engineer for a telecommunications company. 13 years in the industry.

j

14

JW Science Quote Of The Day 8-27

by TD in

jw
friends

in the 1979 movie, "the china syndrome" there is a scene right after swat team members have retaken the control room from jack godell.

(jack lemon) kimberly wells (jane fonda) nervously whispers to richard adams, (michael douglas) "the reactor is the biggest bomb in there!

this reflected a belief, common in the 1970's that commercial nuclear reactors were capable of going up in a mushroom cloud like an atomic bomb.. although no one can deny that accidents and malfunctions at nuclear power plants can potentially be catastrophic, these reactors are not capable of a bomb-like reaction.

done4good

Yes, they can blow up. All one has to remember is Chernobyl. If the containment building leaks, there is a lot of high-pressure radioactive gases (like water vapor) just waiting to be released into the atmosphere.

Yes, but basically what TD said above is accurate. Also keep in mind that Soviet reactors had no containment building. One of the worst things the US has done in recent history, (ok, it was 1979), was fall victum to "The China Syndrome" and give up its nuclear power program.

j

111

I REALLY DON'T CARE...............................

by Warlock in

i believe in god, but i also realize he may not exist.. if you don't believe in god, i really don't care, i'm just curious.. i don't have this need to start threads like "why you must believe in god", or other such nonsense, but some of you still have this "control" issue that you thought you left in the org.

it seems like you must still try to control what others think.

"think like me, or you are an idiot.

done4good

Excellent thread, Warlock.

I would agree that both theists and atheists can have the tendency to try to convert others to their way of thinking. Nvr summed up quite nicely as to why this is so. The question really should probably be, why do so many atheists here tend to be prone to do this? Here are a few possible reasons:

1. Ex-jws already have been taught through years of training to look at religion critically. Since many things concerning religion can be proven false through history or science, an ex-jw picks up on these rather easily through research, and these things learned become the basis for all belief thereafter.

2. Ex-jws have also been trained that what people believe is a life and death matter. An ex-jw is still prone to this black and white train of thought.

3. Faith and spirituality in general are things that are barely understood in the jw religion. Faith is completely associated with the FDS's explanation with absolute certainty of outcome. No contradictions are allowed or possible.

Atheism makes sense on the surface. Even better than how many once thought the jw religion made sense on the surface.

It is possible to look at belief in a higer power from a far more liberal viewpoint than many ex-jws do.

j