Hi
Please, please remember I am asking a question, not stating a fact.
There appears to be many advantages to fading out of the 'Truth' as opposed to a full blown "I don't believe it and I'm out of here regardless of consequences'' policy.
Reading others postings and experiences here and my own local experiences I can truly see why many do so.
I remember during the later stages of my still attending meetings talking to a couple who had stopped going to meetings a few years before. I told them that I didn't believe a word of it. I was more convinced it wasn't the truth than they were and yet I was still attending and they weren't. They asked how could we still keep going.
In my defence I said that, as my wife and I had reasonably large extended family still in it and were involved in a large social circle here, it was harder for us to leave than them as they pretty well kept to themselves socially and only had one parent between them in the 'truth'. This was accepted by them but they asked how could I be true to myself and still pretend to go along with the farce.
Again we reiterated the difficulty of losing family etc and that we didn't have an active role in the 'machinations' of the congregation, ie I was no longer on the 'school', had stopped door knocking years before and never answered.
However their arguement about being true to myself/ourselves still struck a chord. Yes it was harder to leave, but from a selfish point of view we were unwilling to stop.
You see my parents instilled in me a disliking of one thing more than any other when I was a boy growing up. This, by the way, was drummed into me in the 11 years before we started joining the JW's. In other words this was a moral stance I have developed without JW influence. That disliking was for lying and hypocrisy. (I know that's two but it's basically the same thing to me).
I still have a tendency to see things as either truth or lie. Before anybody starts criticizing, I realize, of course, that life is absolutely not like that and there generally is no real truth or lie,(another matter of opinion I know). However it does cause me conscience issues when I know I am deliberately going against that nurtured position. Looking back I realize this is really the reason I had difficulty sharing fully in the belief system of the JW's.
So back to my topic subject line. Whilst you ( or I ) are fading we have to engage in deceiving our family and 'brothers' into assuming we are still 'in'. Now looking at it from a black and white point of view for a minute please, that is deceit, which is lying. If we were opposed to lying whilst we were still a believer we now have to accept that that principle of not telling lies and deceiving people is a principle that we are willing to bend or even forgo to achieve our goal.
Once we start to accept that our moral principle of not lying has basically gone out the window for our own personal benefit as we see it, do you think that will start to wittle away at a general principle of being an honest person in other walks of life?
If, and I stress if, we accept that fading will almost inevitably involve deceiving does that equate to being a liar? If so, might the damage that may occur to our consciences spill over to other aspects of our lives?
Will it make us more comfortable with deceiving/lying?
As difficult as it may be to confront, do those of you who have taken a firm stand against the WT without fading, feel a lessening of respect to those who continue in the fade?
I must stress once again that I am putting this forward as a point for discussion. Sometimes a provocative subject can lead us to confront difficult issues. In 'real' life I like to discuss difficult subjects where there very often is no answer. Just opinions. I would sometimes try that with 'brothers' and the conversation would alwways stop dead.
Thanks
Thomas Covenant