done4good

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Posts by done4good

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  30

  What contributes to a "climate of fear" in the congregation?

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking about how much fear there is among jehovah's witnesses in relating to each other.. if you could read the private thoughts of jw's, you'd probably be surprised at the level of fear they have of each other.. this fear is not likely to be the morbid kind of fear, but the other kind of fear that concerns "what will people think of me?".

  you watched a movie at the weekend, it was rated pg, but you are afraid to tell your friends that you went to see it.. you were only able to report 4 hours of field service that month, but you are afraid to report this number so you tweak it.. you missed several meetings due to sickness, you still feel unwell, but you fear what the congregation may think so you force yourself to go.. you went on a weekend getaway, but you are afraid to tell the friends why you were missing that weekend in case they think you put kingdom interests last.. you watched a good book, but you are afraid to talk about it to your friends because they might be stumbled.. you heard of someone who got disfellowshipped but you are afraid to ask what happened.. you were unable to take friday off for the convention, but you fear what will be said about you.. you did not auxiliary pioneer during the memorial season and you are afraid people will think of you as spiritually weak.. .

  not everyone will let these things bother them, but many do.. this climate of fear and worry about what the congregation may or may not think does not contribute to a loving atmosphere.. what other things can you think of that contribute to a climate of fear?.

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  done4good

  He responded to my raised hand by calling me by my first name [not CoCo]. That was done at my hall only for interested persons who wished to participate. Even little dubs got the bro' and sis' titles.

  Good point CoCo. I remember that well. I always felt bad for anyone who attempted to comment who got the first name treatment, as it so obviously was a way of taking someone down a notch or two. Certainly a way of saying "I'm better than you because I'm baptized", or something. And oh yes, there were indeed, (especially at the bs), those that would be called on by their first name, while other more "respected" brothers were never called by such.

  As for fear, most definately jws live according to fear of man. I remember always having to watch what I say, who I say it to, etc. That's why I really only had a small circle of friends in the org, and, (not so), ironically, most of those few still speak to me now. I'm working on 'em.

  j
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  21

  Baptism and At What Age?

  by karnage in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have seen and noticed that most people who are raised as jw's get baptized at a young age.

  ages like 14-19. how is it that someone can dedicate their life to jehovah at these ages, when maturity is still in development?

  this seems to be something that jw's push and practice on a regular basis.

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  done4good

  I was 15. I remember there being "parties" or witness get-togethers where only baptized kids were allowed to go to. I thought it was such crap, even then. I should have took that as my cue, and just got out then.

  j
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  32

  Drinking (booze) among "Gods" people......More then ever now?

  by new boy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  looking back its amazing how many alcoholics i knew in the "borg"...................... there are 3 elders in my old hall alone........ that are full blown alcoholics...................... when, have you ever heard of someone.......anyone.......let alone and elder............ getting "dfed" for drinking too much?.

  when i was at bethel........you wouldn't believe how much drinking was done there!.

  there are stories of the old days ( russell & the judge)..where they would find guys passed out in front of the 124 building on sunday mornings........no big deal, just dust them off.............. and bring in.

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  done4good

  All four of my grandparents' witness kids were alcoholics. My mother, my two aunts, and my uncle. My mother is now dead from DUI. My one aunt is a daily drinker, (even before meetings), but functional. My uncle gets completely hammered on a regular basis, and my other aunt, chooses to not drink most of the time, but when she does, it is to complete incoherency. My cousin, (df for 10 years, now reinstated), still drinks heavily even after being diagnosed with severe type 2, or mild type 1 diabetes.

  Witness parties were always full of booze, as long as it was kept to a certain group. I did all of my heavy drinking as a witness.

  j
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  20

  BIG TOE INVALIDATES BAPTISM. :D

  by vitty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  did anyone have to get dunked twice at their baptism because you still had your big toe sticking out of the water ????.

  ive seen this happen a couple of times.

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  done4good

  If this is true, then why all the fuss over big toes?

  It just the typical legalistic/neurotic jw mentality. No big surprise.

  j
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  18

  Did you really avoid eating food with possible blood in it?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i joined in the mid 80's, many jw's really read the label to make sure there were no blood by products in the food.. then a few years later, they didn't make a fuss about that anymore.. i guess that today, jw's eat just about anything..

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  done4good

  My grandma (a jw until she died) used to make the stuff, she and my grandpa ate it. I wouldn't touch it. Is there blood in it?

  I could be wrong, but I remember hearing this was something to avoid because it could not be bled properly.

  j
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  49

  JWs in Field Service Today--Christmas.

  by M.J. in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i guess the local kh is doing a special field service outing today, which my wife will be a part of...on christmas morning.

  i think this is intrusive and disrespectful.. did any of you do fs on christmas?.

  is this a common thing among jws?

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  done4good

  I refused to go out on any holiday.

  j
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  18

  Did you really avoid eating food with possible blood in it?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i joined in the mid 80's, many jw's really read the label to make sure there were no blood by products in the food.. then a few years later, they didn't make a fuss about that anymore.. i guess that today, jw's eat just about anything..

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  done4good

  Aside from avoiding the obvious stuff, (like who would eat head cheese anyway???), I don't remember any witnesses ever concerning themselves with the issue.

  j
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  90

  Name Some JW "Double Standards"

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's one: you can't give blood but you can take a blood fraction (which someone else has to give).

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  done4good

  The rank and file must confess any "gross" wrongdoing. But, if an elder or ms commits the same deed, as long as he dosen't report it for a couple of years and keeps his nose clean, he won't face a jc if it comes up at a later time. If you read between the lines on this one in the elders handbook, it actually encourages elders NOT to report such wrongdoing.

  j
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  29

  Were You Ever Falsely Accused By The Elders Regarding Anything???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  done4good

  "Just to let you know we're thinking of you during this testing time regarding your health. The principle in the scripture that things are established by having 2 or 3 witnesses, can be applied to accepting a diagnosis of our health. Let 2 or 3 independent authorities agree about it then we in the congregation can accept it. One's spiritual health must not be neglected."

  Unbelieveable. I don't even know what to say to that. Sorry for my long-winded story, seems rather trite now.

  j
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  29

  Were You Ever Falsely Accused By The Elders Regarding Anything???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  done4good

  Oh yes! When I was a kid, (18-19), we were in a congregation, where it was considered OK to play tackle football, (many regard this as taboo, btw). We would get together almost every Sunday afternoon, in the fall and winter and play into the evening. Elders, servants, thier sons, you name it. This went on just fine for about two years. After a while, brothers from two neighboring congs that we associated with joined in, everything still OK though.

  I showed up early for a game one Sunday, now keep in mind, I wasn't Mr. popularity in the circuit, so pretty much, I just assumed that this would be like any other Sunday. About 30 mins later, about 30-40 brothers show up from about every congregation in North Jersey. As you can imagine, this got out of control in short order. Violent hits, fights, the worst language I heard almost anywhere, etc. I left, along with a few others after only about another 15-30 mins. of this. After that game, I decided things were getting a bit too crazy, and didn't play anymore. Also keep in mind, I wasn't Mr. athletic either, so this type of competition wasn't my bag, as anyone who knew me, knew as much.

  About a month passes. Myself, along with 1 or two other brothers gets asked by the elders for a back room session. What??? Why??? I really had no idea what this could be for, but the look on the elders' faces showed they meant business. We sit down, they start by going over scriptures how Jehovah hates violence, blah, blah, blah. OK, so WHAT is this about??? "There was a football game", and "your name came up on the list", What LIST??? To make a long story short, some brother who was at the game, (one of the 40 that I didn't even know), broke his collar bone. Well, the kicker is, this brother evidently was told by his father, (an elder in another cong.), explicity, NOT to go to this game. Daddy was noone to happy when his son showed up in th ER. Daddy is pissed. Instead of merely disciplining his SON for disobeying, he decides to write the society! He askes for names and congregations of the brothers at the game, (a VERY incomplete list, mind you!). The society in turn, sends letters to the three congs, (Verona, Gilette, and E.Passaic, NJ), where the "core" brothers that played attended. Somehow MY name was on that list, along with, I believe two others, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TROUBLE MAKING. The real instigators, (elders' sons, go figure), got away scott free any we became the scapegoats! Just telling this story almost 15 years later pisses me off. This became THE reason for not getting appointed an MS, at the time, btw.

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