done4good

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Posts by done4good

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  30

  Do you think JWN members would be surprised if they got to know you in real life?

  by nicolaou in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think you'd recognise me much at all.

  i'm a royal mail postman, i love my job for the early starts and midday finish, the outdoors and the exercise.. i get on with people but i'm quite insular and don't enjoy crowds.

  i'm happiest when i've fired up the charcoal and i'm making souvlaki or adana kebabs for my family and a few close friends.

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  done4good

  I doubt many here would be surprised, if they read my posts. My old JW associates however, might be. I tended to be rather shy as a young person. While still an introvert in the technical personality sense, shy I am not. I grew up in a rather dysfunctional JW family, and my first marriage as a JW was not much better. SInce leaving, I have learned to fully harness the energy about things I am passionate about and use that constructively. It has led to a happy, successful life in my marriage, my career, and in many other relationships. I try to take interest in many areas of life. Life is short, this is important.
  

  In my non-work life, I enjoy reading, cooking both on the grill and in the kitchen, (recently learned to make a killer pizza on the grill), music, writing, photography, anything technology or science related, wine, a little weed at times, political discussion, contribute to some volunteer courses, etc.

  I have done a couple of ex-JW meetups, (one in NY and one in Chicago), with small groups, but nothing recently. I believe both of those were in 2008. Not many of my old JW "friends" have managed to make it out, so most association is with normal folks who have never been.

  d4g
  
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  18

  Are You No Longer Interested in the Arts?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  greetings, new friends and old:.

  i've been here some nine years now and have learned a lot.

  made many dear friends.

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  done4good

  The arts and music are extremely important to me. I collect art, (mostly paintings and artistic photography), do artistic photography, collect music, (own an LP collection of well over 1000), and read and write poetry. I also have a significant interest in philosophy.

  Most threads about these subjects I do participate in, but rarely start topics to begin with. Maybe I should...
  

  d4g
  
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  75

  Witness Punk and Metal Band Names

  by Luther bertrand in

  1. social
  2. humour

  here is what i would name my band(s) let see if you can list some funny ones as well.

  here is my list:.

  local needs.

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  done4good

  Talesin - Armageddon

  Been done...:-)
  

  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_%28British_band%29

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  17

  Analytical trend after broadcasts?

  by juandefiero in

  1. forum
  2. suggestions

  simon,.

  i'm not sure if you ever share analytics data.. but i've been noticing a trend.

  it seems that every time a new jw broadcast, we get a seeming increase in new members the week after.. does the data show that?.

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  done4good

  I am an empiricist, so I always appreciate something more than anecdotes to make a case for something.

  That said, even if the data do point to an uptick in new member activity following a broadcast, all this demonstrates is correlation, not causation. The correlation can be due to any number of reasons, including the most likely reason, in that a broadcast simply raises one's awareness of what is wrong with the organization, and encourages them to post. Very likely these people are already mentally out, and simply overcoming any fears or apprehensions to post.

  It is all good though. The org. is doing more to destroy itself than any "apostate" ever could...
  

  d4g
  
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  46

  The slow trickle has become a steady stream!

  by freddo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the last few weeks it seems that instead of one or two new posters a week we seem to be getting several every day.

  many seem to be long time jw's who are troubled by the path of the organisation.

  this is really encouraging to those of us who have been here sometime.. welcome!

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  done4good

  Although mostly anecdotal, it certainly does appear a tipping point has been reached. Much of what I am hearing, (and I am quite far removed from the JW scene, so my data on this is very limited, admittedly), has finally brought me to a point where I no longer trust the numbers the society is printing. I have held off a long time from saying that, however I now would say that they are spinning the numbers positive anyway possible. They have a lot of latitude to do so, since the way they account for members is far from any standard any other religion uses. For example, since no one really knows if by "publishers" the WTS refers to baptized only, or unbaptized publishers as well, this could easily be an area they adjust behind the scenes and no one would be the wiser. There are many other "tweaks" they can perform to the accounting process that would also allow them to spin things positive for a while.
  

  It seems most "normal" JWs left are extremely apathetic, or awake but leading double lives for family reasons. Many of the latter group are too scared of the consequences, (and there are consequences), to come forward openly. I think this is a much larger group than most people realize.

  As far as the apathetic go, this is a very large group that can be pushed mentally out given sufficient reason. This was me for several years before I left, so I know first hand apathy is almost always the first step to becoming mentally free for most. I know a former congregation I attended has lost about 33% of its membership over the last 20 years, and mostly only the very apathetic, (apart from a few kooks, I am sure), are left.
  

  That only leaves the mentally/emotionally unstable left. Long term, this brain drain will kill the WTS. The pace of decline is accelerating rapidly. This is consistent with a critical mass or tipping point being reached. Time will tell how long it takes.

  d4g
  
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  17

  Science Alert Quiz

  by cofty in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  take the test fellow hominids.... i got 7/7.

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  done4good

  7/7

  All of the answers were indeed false, as all statements are examples of common misconceptions of evolution. These are basic practical examples, that demonstrate that someone understands the basics of how evolution works. If anyone scored less than 7/7, there is some basic principle that is likely not understood.

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  17

  Do you ever contact those who shun you?

  by Xanthippe in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  do you ever test the water and see if your relatives or friends still feel the same way?

  i don't have mobile phone numbers or email addresses for my family because we left a long time ago.

  long before facebook.

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  done4good

  I decided to check in today, (didn't take quite a month :-)).

  I tried this. It does not work, and is almost guaranteed to cause extreme pain. Look at this way, there are probably a very limited number of people that you want to reach out to. The ones you think are worth it, you think that way because they mean something to you. These are the very ones that are going to hurt you the worst when they decide to shun, simply because you care enough about them. The axiom is as simple as that.

  Simon is right. You really have nothing in common with them anymore. It is sad, but it really is their loss.There is no water to test provided they still believe. The belief system itself is toxic, and will force them to passive-aggressively cause you pain. Been there, done that.
  

  d4g
  
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  31

  The GB know it's all lies and wants to dismantle the WTS ... then what?

  by Simon in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so imagine the gb have a sudden attack of honesty and realize "crap, this whole thing is lies - we're not god's spokespeople at all !".

  how do you dismantle a religion that has +8 million members in a responsible way?

  you can't just publish a watchtower saying "we were wrong" because that would be irresponsible - you need to let people down gently, put people off gradually.

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  done4good

  The WT is much like a person trying to keep the snout of a wild dog closed. The R&F is the wild dog. If they try to truly remove the authoritarian structure, that dog is going to bite them in the ass hard...They won't do it.

  The WT would lose at least 50% of its membership if it eliminated JCs, DF, shunning, and various other control mechanisms. The other 50% would slowly lose interest over time. This would be catastrophic for the organization financially. They won't do it. They are preferring to take the path of slowly dying out, albeit unwittingly.
  

  So what will they do? Observing from some distance, I would say they already have reached a tipping point, (if not just short of it). They are in the process of trying to determine a long-term strategy, (something they never had to do; authoritarian regimes rarely do). This is not familiar territory for them, and I believe they will fail at it, ultimately. At a bare minimum, they would need to soberly admit to not having the "truth", to begin with, since true reform only works when reality is faced. The catch is, they really cannot face that reality, as they are true believers, (even of their own bullshit). Belief is all about survival. Belief in their cause is critical to their survival. Without this, they fail. This is an inherent dilemma that has no clear-cut way forward, and will lead to their demise.
  

  It appears the pressures of social evolution are forcing them to make changes without a clear-cut strategy. Too many things about modern society stand in stark contrast to the charlatan nature of a 19th century end-times religious sect. All of their survival efforts to date have been tactical in nature, and are designed to preserve that 19th century dogma. Tactics only work for so long. At some point, a goal oriented strategy needs to be developed, and worked toward. However, any attempt to do this in a meaningful way will have its own adverse consequences, since it means admitting fault, (hence disbelief). Disbelief is anathema to the existence of religion.

  Lacking a strategy, they will continue to attempt to exist in a maze of society they are ill-equipped to exist within, and die a slow death, that will accelerate over time. It already is.
  

  d4g
  
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  21

  10 Years On...

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just a note that 10 years ago, (christmas day, 2005), was my last time inside a kh.

  a lot has taken place for the better in those 10 years:.

  1. met the love of my life and happily married for 9 years, two days ago.. 2. completed a master's degree.. 3. work at senior management level in the it field.. 4. have a savings and retirement, and no debt outside of a mortgage and 1 car loan.. 5. lots of travel to several places that i never would have done as a jw.. 6. contribute to what i believe are meaningful causes.. 7. read, think, and meditate for myself.. 8. have a great extended family i inherited from my wife.. 9. lots of other great stuff, too much to list.. none of this is intended to be boastful.

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  done4good

  Thank you all very much for your kind words of support, they mean much more to me than I can adequately convey here. I really appreciate the opportunity to have contributed something of value to the ex-JW community, no matter how minor it may have been. Our experiences may have all been a bit different, but we all have the same human needs at some level. WT as an institution serves only to deny us of those needs, and dehumanizes us and our loved ones still trapped in.

  I promise to stop in from time to time.

  Jason
  
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  21

  10 Years On...

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just a note that 10 years ago, (christmas day, 2005), was my last time inside a kh.

  a lot has taken place for the better in those 10 years:.

  1. met the love of my life and happily married for 9 years, two days ago.. 2. completed a master's degree.. 3. work at senior management level in the it field.. 4. have a savings and retirement, and no debt outside of a mortgage and 1 car loan.. 5. lots of travel to several places that i never would have done as a jw.. 6. contribute to what i believe are meaningful causes.. 7. read, think, and meditate for myself.. 8. have a great extended family i inherited from my wife.. 9. lots of other great stuff, too much to list.. none of this is intended to be boastful.

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  done4good

  Just a note that 10 years ago, (Christmas day, 2005), was my last time inside a KH. A lot has taken place for the better in those 10 years:

  1. Met the love of my life and happily married for 9 years, two days ago.

  2. Completed a master's degree.

  3. Work at senior management level in the IT field.

  4. Have a savings and retirement, and no debt outside of a mortgage and 1 car loan.

  5. Lots of travel to several places that I never would have done as a JW.

  6. Contribute to what I believe are meaningful causes.

  7. Read, think, and meditate for myself.

  8. Have a great extended family I inherited from my wife.
  

  9. Lots of other great stuff, too much to list.
  

  None of this is intended to be boastful. It is merely a reflection of the positive things in life, and a lesson for any newbie here that life post-WT is worth living, and will only get better for you, if you take advantage of it.

  I am going to take a bit of a hiatus from here for a while, since I think 10 years is a good amount of time to have taken advantage of this type of therapy, and benefit from it. Diminishing returns do come into play, and I need to free myself from what can be an addictive pastime.

  Thank you all for being here...
  

  Jason