Bee Bee, good advice and well put. I would have probably said the same thing. And although I would have said the same thing, I am going through the same dilemma. I've had an on/off relationship with someone for over three years. He as a "girlfriend" in a neighboring state, although they rarely see eachother, and according to him, she's selfish and psycho. I believed this for a while; I also believed him when he told me a few months ago that it was finished for good. I finally thought perhaps he'd had enough. So I saw him last week and slept with him for the first time in a long time, thinking he was truly finished with her. I have a strong connection with this man. Every time I see him my heart flips...anyway...
This Sunday I was out with friends for dinner and met a most extraordinary man. We ended up talking for four hours. I told him things I wouldn't dream of telling a complete stranger, and he told me that he was in remission from cancer and had also survived a heart attack. He's just 40. He's charming, cultured and successful, and from what vibe I got, sincere. Anyway, made plans to see eachother when he comes back from a business trip.
Driving home from this extraordinary meeting, I got to thinking about the first man and how I would have liked things to work out and perhaps I should just lay in all on the line. Every time he would bring "us" up I would say there wasn't an us or change the subject. So I decided to drive over to his place and just spill my guts. What did I have to lose anyway that I didn't lose over three years. Anyway, imagine my shock when I saw her car out front. I had a mix of emotions, much of which was anger at myself for being such an idiot. I wanted to just tie up the loose ends once and for all. Well, I guess I got my answer.
He called me and I am seeing him tonite. Don't know what to say. He mentioned she was up and I asked if they were back together, and did he get the ring back. He said yes and no but didn't want to talk about it at work.
I think I am going to speak my mind once and for all. I finally have the courage. After all, he's been lying to her for three years.
Wish me luck!
Diana