recently, a former witness expressed his opinion to me that he knew more than a few witnesses that were gay.personally, i know of a bisexual ex-elder who was unhappily married for a few years.
now he's "out", pardon the pun, of the organization.
i know of a newly appointed ms who is married to a sister but most people suspect he is gay.
Ok now we're addressing issues rather than just gossipping and coming out with stuff like "welll i knew a brother who was very effeminate, he wasn't married and he loved musicals so he must have been a gay"
Growing up gay in the truth is hell, you are made to feel like some sort of perverted freak, you're constantly threatened with death and ultimatly you know its going to cost you your family and all the friends you grew up with. Been there seen that, got the scars on my heart to prove it.
recently, a former witness expressed his opinion to me that he knew more than a few witnesses that were gay.personally, i know of a bisexual ex-elder who was unhappily married for a few years.
now he's "out", pardon the pun, of the organization.
i know of a newly appointed ms who is married to a sister but most people suspect he is gay.
But whats the point? whats the point of this thread other than to gossip about "gays?" Minimus has ben quite outspoken on his views of gays in the past, this thread just comes across as yet more homophobic bull.
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. Come 'ere minimus givus a kiss !
recently, a former witness expressed his opinion to me that he knew more than a few witnesses that were gay.personally, i know of a bisexual ex-elder who was unhappily married for a few years.
now he's "out", pardon the pun, of the organization.
i know of a newly appointed ms who is married to a sister but most people suspect he is gay.
I've read through this thread and have found myself really disappointed with it and the posters to it. You do yourselves no credit at all. You sound like a bunch of gossipy old women (no offense to old women) The premise of the thread "Did You Know or Know Of "Gay" or Bisexual JWs???" is just ridiculous not to say juvenile. Grow up ! You live in the real world now, it doesn't matter if someone’s gay or bisexual, well it shouldn't not unless you're a small minded bigot that loves to talk about people.
For the record, I'm gay. I'm not in the least bit effeminate and neither are any of my gay mates. The idea that because someone is effeminate it means they are gay is about as outdated and as offensive as the ridiculous view that all black men are muggers.
It would appear that some of you are still stuck with your watchtower mentalities which is a shame because people like me had to leave family and friends behind to escape from such a thing and yet here I find it alive and kicking.
Get over yourselves and grow up.
i got a phone call from a person that i gave my phone # to.
and this person said that gays are not welcome here and this is not what this board was really about.
i told them that this is only one part of the crap that the wts did to people and that we are people too.
Dear Rag
I am not a drama queen or sporting any agenda, this person did not hurt my feelings and he expressed what he felt. He is entitled to that and his comments did not indicate violence just intolerance.
I know he is hurting and I guess he had to lash out thats ok I have broad shoulders.
Good ! Hamstring try to see this from his point of view though, the bloke has a small mind, hes a bigot. What you have done by exposing his twisted views is give him yet another reason to hate "gays" (lol yeah I'm thinking "so what !" too, but we should try to be better than him) You are a bigger better man than he will ever be. Rise above it and ignore him. Ben
i got a phone call from a person that i gave my phone # to.
and this person said that gays are not welcome here and this is not what this board was really about.
i told them that this is only one part of the crap that the wts did to people and that we are people too.
We fight over politics all the time and discussions last for weeks and nobody sees the dems run for cover. Nor does anyone stop joining because the Republicans have 'ol George in office.
No one ever got kicked out of the truth and lost their family and friends for being a dem or repuplican though. I did though for being a gay man.
My point was that this board is a support board for the likes of us and by posting a thread with a very scary title Hammy could scare Gay and Lesbian posters away. People should think a little about how something as simple as a thread title will effect other posters before posting.
i got a phone call from a person that i gave my phone # to.
and this person said that gays are not welcome here and this is not what this board was really about.
i told them that this is only one part of the crap that the wts did to people and that we are people too.
Gay bloke here!
I kind of agree with fleaman, Hamstring shouldn't have given this particular bigot the air of publicity and in sticking a thread on here saying "Gays Leave JWD!" and reporting this bigots twisted views he may well make other Gay Ex dubs think twice about posting here. Yes I know a lot of you have responded with affirmative views to this thread but it still creates a feeling of unease in a group that have already been rejected once.
Hamstring, stop being a drama queen and ignore it
Ben
some of you might remember my story from years ago - how i became an 'apostate' which effectively ended my marriage of 20 years.
how my wife subjected me to intense psychological abuse when i left 'the truth'.. my son ben, whom i love deeply, left when he was dragged into the back room and told he was being used by satan to corrupt the congregation (he was only15) because he was gay.. my dearest middle daughter charlotte, who has more common sense than all of us put together, 'left' on her 14th birthday.
she was dragged out of the house in her bare feet to be taken to the meeting, and because i intervened i spent the next year on a camp bed in the front room.. in the end, i could not stand the abuse and left.
I'll probably get shot down for saying this, even If I don't mean it, and I wouldn't want her kids to go back to the org but right now its the ex wife that needs help.
I have one word for her and anyone else feeling suicidal, The strongest word in the English language and one that gets forgotten when we really need it.
HOPE.
There is always hope, never forget it.
Ben - London
hi.. after lurking for a number of months i have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.
i left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which i knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters.
since then i have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site i can rectify that.
Wow, thanks for all the warm welcomes and replies
To answer a few questions...
Frankly if I wasn't gay, I'd probably still be a JW, have 3 or 4 kids by now and working at dead end job (judging from the outcome of many of my old JW friends). Therefore acting on my inherent sexuality was liberating for me in more ways than one.
I can relate to this. I was engaged to be married, I knew it was wrong, I loved her but didn't find her sexually attractive a bit. Thankfully matters were taken out of my hands when I fell foul of the Elders and she broke off the engagement and marked me. Had I not messed up I may well have gone through with it and ended up as an Elder in a sexless miserable marriage with a couple of kids. I was hurt but relieved when it ended.
Where do you stand on spirituality today? Have you found any group that accepts you without judgement?
Tough question. I left not because of spiritual reasons, I fell foul of the Organisation, I tried to help someone that had been DF'd and got done for it. I just thought "OK Jehovah knows I'm gay and wants me out of his organisation so has manipulated events to do that" and I left. Growing up in the truth and hearing constantly how organised religions have it wrong has turned me against them. I could never go to another church. That doesn't mean that I don't have a spiritual need, I do. I took all the good things from the truth and made them mine, I took all the bad destructive things and I binned them. Those good things have set me aside in the world, most people when asked about me will smile and say I'm a nice bloke.
Acceptance, that’s a different story. Growing up gay in the truth makes a liar of you, you become secretive and you keep people at arms length for fear of anyone getting too close and finding out the truth. Time and time again I would turn down trips to the swimming pool with brothers because of the communal changing rooms lol. Growing up with that fear of rejection and possible isolation has meant that I haven't been able to "come out" to family and friends. Similarly I haven't been able to "come out" to gay friends as an Ex JW. The one time I did the guy freaked and labelled me a religious nutcase and ran as fast as his legs would carry him lol. It is hard enough making gay friends without that stigma attached. So no I don't think I have ever been accepted for who I really am. Even my partner of 9 yrs refuses to talk about my jw past.
It would be nice to meet someone who actually accepted me as a gay man that used to be a JW.
PS: I wish you would have came onboard earlier, I was just in London this past September. We could have met for tea!
Damn, my timing has always been lousy, I could have shown you around London. Same goes for anyone else that's visiting.
Ben, I hope you don't think because you are gay that you must get caught up in the 'gay scene', and more than a single person must get caught up in the 'single scene'. There are lifestyle choices in the gay world, just as there are in the heterosexual world. The WT teachings would leave one to believe that everyone who leaves is some hedonist that attends orgies and shoots drugs all the time. (remember the pictures in the magazines?)
Oh how those pictures used to haunt me, I can remember coming down with colds the days when stuff like that would come up at the group book study
For me the gay scene is a means to an end, a way to meet people like me. Unfortunately I haven't found many. My upbringing has created a barrier between myself and my peers. One by one I have watched my gay mates give into peer pressure and succumb to that hedonistic lifestyle. The London gay scene is notorious for its drug misuse and everyone seems to be hell-bent on self destruction. I'm not like that, I know how to say no which is why I'm still here whereas a lot of the friends I made when I first went on it aren't. Thanks Shelly.
its worth it! it hurts to say goodbye more than you know....but i'm not gonna give up my happiness and someone i wanna spend my life with over beliefs and others beliefs including my own family. be who you are. dont let anyone change you. only you can make yourself happy! i had to leave the spiritual cover to finally say...this is who i am and i love it.
I agree with you 100%. You only get one stab at life, it’s not a dress rehearsal, this is it. The purpose of life is to live it and to deny yourself love is a major sin in my book. As with any type of growth you have to expect a bit of pain, we've both experienced that, loosing family and friends. It’s not easy, it hurts but It is worth it to be who you are and not a shallow loveless husk of a person who has given up his or her life on the basis of a promise.... Who wants to play with pandas and lions anyway !
Ben - London
hi.. after lurking for a number of months i have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.
i left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which i knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters.
since then i have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site i can rectify that.
BTW, do you still think it's "the truth?"
No, I learnt a long time ago that the "truth" is not the truth. However I was brought up in it, the man I am is based upon those bible principles we were taught as kids. Try having morals on the gay scene, its not easy and sets you apart from everyone else. I still try to treat people as I would like to be treated, hard when most in this world seem to follow the "do as though will" rule.
Ben - London
hi.. after lurking for a number of months i have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.
i left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which i knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters.
since then i have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site i can rectify that.
Hi.
After lurking for a number of months I have decided to join in and hopefully connect with a few people who will know what it has been like to grow up as me.
I left the truth a number of years ago for two reasons, one of which was my sexuality, which I knew to be unacceptable to my brothers and sisters. Since then I have alone in my isolation, hopefully through this site I can rectify that. I hope to be able to connect to people who can really understand what it is like in my head, to grow up gay and in the truth. The shame of having those feelings, the guilt, the loss of everyone you love as you have to leave, trying to fit into a hostile world and a gay scene that represents and is everything you have been taught to think of as bad. How did you do it?
Looking back on my time in the truth it wasn’t a bad time for me, unlike some on this site I did fit in and was a part of that big “family”. Losing that though was hard and I have never been able to replace that feeling of belonging out here in the world. I guess that is why I am here, I want to belong again.
Ben - London
