Posts by VanillaMocha73

58

So why

by bushido8000 in

it has become very apparent to me very quickly that this forum is dominated by ex-jws.

i have many questions and topics to present but i first want to know who i am presenting these questions and topics to so i have 2 questions that i would like as many of yall to answer as possible.. .

question 1: did you leave the organization out of the blue or were you first disfellowshipped?.

VanillaMocha73

I was in an abusive marriage for over a decade. The elders knew about this all along.

My husband continually accused me of cheating on him, if I so much as left the house. I got tired of it and told them I did. I was dying from the years of abuse and walking on eggshells.

They disfellowshipped me and spread rumors that I had gone to live with a boyfriend. I had gone to stay with my mother.

So, disfellowshipped after being a zealous pioneer, do it all the "right way" sister for over 3 decades.

The second level that you find on the board (and happened for me) was when I disfellowshipped myself. The elder's little meeting and shunning is one matter. The individual can still stand in shame at the KH for long enough and be back in. But I started reading the Bible. The real Bible, not the JW Bible. And actually reading it - not just the selected passages from the weekly Watchtower. Someone sent me "Truth or Consequences." My own mother (anointed JW at the time) told me to read "Crisis of Conscience." I just about had a heart attack. But realizing that my treatment was completely unloving, that this group of people accept lies rather than find out the truth, and that their actions did not represent the True God, nor were they in the Bible, I disfellowshipped myself.

I never, ever, ever want to go back!!! (And my mom is a Christian now - praise the Lord!) And to seal the JW fate for me - she disagreed with some of their teachings and is now disfellowshipped at the age of 74, having spent the last 40+ years in the "Truth". Separated from all of her friends, all of her support circle. Who would do that to a 70 year old lady? I've heard rumors spread about her as well - that she must have a boyfriend or something.....

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:35.

Conversely, by this alll men will know that you are NOT my disciples, if you hurt one another.

35

I just got my memorial invite

by twinkle toes in

well technically it is an anniversary invite/special talk invite.

the car group was just here.

i was home but hiding and my husband got the door.. i want to tell them exactly why i am not going , but i haven't got my head quite there yet.. i think i am gonna have to just decline!.

VanillaMocha73

No way I am ever going to a "reject Christ" event again... I have volunteered to suffer through so I could take my mother, when it didn't look like any of her "loving" congregation was going to follow through. But that isn't an issue anymore - she is out too!!!

Last one I went to was absolutely depressing... I would like an invite, just so I could use it for guinea pig litter..... (Somehow it would make me feel better.)

29

What drove you? Love or Fear?

by fade_away in

this has probably been discussed here before, but i'm new so sue me.. i think the religion of jehovah's witnesses has been an amazing but tragic social experiment proving that the mind is most vulnerable to brainwashing when it's in an unhealthy state.

it seems to attract the bipolar, schizophrenic, depressive, and the paranoid.

it preys on negative emotions like sorrow and fear.

VanillaMocha73

Fear...

You say "attracted the schizophrenics, bipolar, etc" ... rather a case of the chicken / egg. Does it attract or cause?

Anytime you are desperately trying to please someone, so that you might live, you will make yourself crazy. I remember reading that "Probably you may be concealed" verse ... and hearing about how you have to be in the middle of the hay bale to survive.... Dreaming about surviving Armageddon, afraid that my pets wouldn't make it, .....

Serving from love removes the desire to do wrong ... but gives permission to fail because you are human and can get up again. Assurance of love in return from God.

6

Menlo Park Cong.

by exwhyzee in

i recently got in touch with an old jw friend of mine (now of the annointed) who lives near menlo park ca.

i asked him about that congreagation there that got closed down or had some sort of uprising.

he didn't know anything about it and even sounded like he didn't believe it ever happened.

VanillaMocha73

http://ex-jw.com/takeover-in-menlo-park-part-one

22

Old JW Movie

by exwhyzee in

jw
friends

i thought this might be worth running again as there are new ones on here that may not have ever known about this.this movie was shown once a year at our hall during the 60's and into the 70's as well.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzfu_vcwqso.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odyuwezapme&feature=related.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlie8jiihd4&feature=related.

VanillaMocha73

That was depressing... Thankfully, I'm too young to have remembered that.

48

JW ADVANTAGES vs DISADVANTAGES

by DesirousOfChange in

jw
friends

this earlier topic [why do it feel bad about my children leaving jw religion?

] is what causes me to ask this question:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/208031/1/why-do-i-feel-bad-about-my-children-leaving-the-jw-religion.

VanillaMocha73

Expounding on the above....

I grew up in the JWs. The young people in the congregation I wasn't allowed to hang out with, nor did they want to hang out with me. I was invited to one of their parties. My father's rules was the he went to parties with me if they were not chaperoned by other parents. He went... he watched the young people sneaking off to the beach in pairs, the cops come because it was too loud... He asked me if I really wanted to be there. That was the end of my hanging with that group.

The morals of the youth was "don't get caught." It took a very rare young person who actually followed the moral guidelines out of love.

In my grown-up congregations, I was introduced to drinking parties .... Drinking parties that I have yet to find out here "in the world" .... Wife Swapping parties - they got drunk and who knows who went home with whom. I have yet to find those parties at my Christian church or even among the "worldly" adults I have hung out with. I met more men who ran off with women who were not their wives, and found some "sneaky" way to divorce, remarry.

When it is from fear, it is all about not getting caught and guilt trips. And it doesn't work. My kids are free to come home and say "So and so did this - it didn't feel right." There is no guilt trip that if they get pregnant they will be thrown in the trash. There is no lecturing about "don't smoke because God will kill you." They can come home and smoke ... funny thing is, they don't. They don't care about that stuff, because they don't need a fill-in for real joy and love. We don't have alcohol in the house because my husband is diabetic, so its not a good idea for him. But my kids have made the choice that they just don't want that stuff. It isn't prohibited from fear.

If someone in our church sleeps around, they just naturally don't fit among us. We don't shun them. We didn't gasp in horror when the young unmarried "shacking up" couple came to Sunday School. There was no guilt or "You better get married before we can accept you as serving God." Big deal - they got married later naturally - out of love for one another and the feeling of commitment to each other.

Yeah - sorry - I don't find any advantages to being a JW.

And uneducated uninvolved young people who take the bare minimum of high school because that is all that is encouraged - that aren't encouraged toward a career ... are prey to all the drugs, alcohol, and excitement they can find from elsewhere.

48

JW ADVANTAGES vs DISADVANTAGES

by DesirousOfChange in

jw
friends

this earlier topic [why do it feel bad about my children leaving jw religion?

] is what causes me to ask this question:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/208031/1/why-do-i-feel-bad-about-my-children-leaving-the-jw-religion.

VanillaMocha73

It encourages people to avoid things like smoking, drug use, alcohol abuse, "fornicating" and the risk of things associated with that (both physcial and emotional), dishonesty, and other bad behaviors that can cause one problems in life. Yes, positive peer pressure.

It provides a social network of (mostly) good associates for families, including a place for young people to meet other young people who also have higher than average morals and convictions.

=========================================================================================== Obviously you have not been a JW youth. Or a JW, I would bet. When you encourage people to avoid things out of FEAR, it doesn't work. I have met far more alcoholics among JWs than elsewhere. The only place I have met wife swapping has been among JWs. Dishonesty? How about every time they talk about Bible doctrine? Positive peer pressure? You mean knowing that your "friends" will turn on you if you so much as sneeze "cigarette"? Judge you for both real and supposed behaviours? Young people? I'd say the JW youth I grew up amongst were far MORE immoral - using drugs, wild parties, alcohol use - than the kids in our church, or the kids elsewhere. High than average morals? Not really. Convictions? How can they be strong convictions when they change every 15 minutes? Again, any group that operates on its members from fear is never beneficial in the long run.

52

what was the worst meeting you ever attended ?

by man in black in

here's mine :.

back in the early 90's we went to the sunday talk and wt study.. lo and behold, a friend from the 70's who was df'ed ( he had just been reinstated) was there along with his parents.

i had no idea that they would have been there.. one of my kids was getting sick, so my wife and i were up-down the entire meeting walking him around.

VanillaMocha73

The last Memorial I went to - we had to pick up my son after and so I drug the new husband in to see what it was like. I have never been so depressed - the monotone talk with no joy, and then the rejection of the blood and body of Jesus, and then another song with no joy, and then 95% of the people acting like they couldn't see me, or glaring at me. Never again ... never.

3

You are only Disfellowshipped when they don't want something . . .

by JRK in

jw
friends

i had a few interesting experiences this past year that i haven't shared on the board.. experience #1: in the fervor leading up to our worst snowstorm of the year, an elder asked my mother to ask me (yes, he was too pussy to ask me himself) if "the brothers" could use my generator and other equipment if someone in the congregation needed it.

i was put off by this for several reasons.

one, what if one of my "current" friends were without power?

VanillaMocha73

For experience 1) "Wouldn't you be afraid some demon from my house would come with it?"

Experience 2) That is a hard one - YOU are still supportive and loving of family, but she isn't. Mail the itinerary enveloped in some nice Bible tract about Jehovah's Witnesses?

26

It is truly a "Dog & Pony" Show !

by Pitchess Co-Gen in

my bother ( who i don't really talk too because of a different issue with him ) and i got disfellowshipped on the same day ( 2/28/09 ).

ive been pretty inconstant when it comes to meeting attendance ( i haven't been in more than six months ), while ever sence my brother and his wife had a baby he's been super regular at the meeting ( nine months straight without missing one meeting !).

when he turned in his reinstatement letter ( by the way he moved to a new congregation ).

VanillaMocha73

It depends on how much you sucked up to the elders before you were df'd. It depends on the phase of the moon and how much they have had to drink that day. It depends upon whether you came to the meetings thirty seconds before or thirty seconds after the opening song....

Biggest question: Why in the world would you WANT your life to be controlled by three men again?