I am glad to have the chance to talk to you guys. You all so far have been very kind and I hope to make friends with you guys also. Thanks again!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis
dissedsis
JoinedPosts by dissedsis
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22
Here is my sad but true story!!!
by dissedsis ini was born into a well off family in the wee year of 1979. my father was a water/oil well driller and worked days on end so i rarely ever got to see him.
by the time i was waking up in the mornings he was already at work and when he returned home at night i had already gone to bed, so most of my days where spent without him.
i had sister that was 14 years older than i was and she had severe brain damage and had to be placed in a state home when i was 18 months old, so i do not remember to much about home life with her, other than it was like we had a "big" baby at home with us.
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dissedsis
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22
Here is my sad but true story!!!
by dissedsis ini was born into a well off family in the wee year of 1979. my father was a water/oil well driller and worked days on end so i rarely ever got to see him.
by the time i was waking up in the mornings he was already at work and when he returned home at night i had already gone to bed, so most of my days where spent without him.
i had sister that was 14 years older than i was and she had severe brain damage and had to be placed in a state home when i was 18 months old, so i do not remember to much about home life with her, other than it was like we had a "big" baby at home with us.
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dissedsis
Thank you also cass. I read your story the other day and I bawled and bawled. I even read it to a friend of mine that is studing with the witnesses and she began to see why I shy away from it all so much. You are a very strong person and you seem to be awesome in every way. Thank you so much. Since I have started posting on this site I have felt so much happier with my life and also more healed because I now know that I am not the bad guy, or the only one!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
22
Here is my sad but true story!!!
by dissedsis ini was born into a well off family in the wee year of 1979. my father was a water/oil well driller and worked days on end so i rarely ever got to see him.
by the time i was waking up in the mornings he was already at work and when he returned home at night i had already gone to bed, so most of my days where spent without him.
i had sister that was 14 years older than i was and she had severe brain damage and had to be placed in a state home when i was 18 months old, so i do not remember to much about home life with her, other than it was like we had a "big" baby at home with us.
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dissedsis
Thank you six. LOL Yes I do have a different pic for every day. Just can't find the one that fits me the most. This is me, the true me though, so I think that I will keep this one!!! It was just taken today. Yes, he is really good, he helped me with my mother and flat out told her to loosen her grip on me cause I was not her and I needed to be free to make my own decisions. Thank you for taking the time to realize that I do change the pic though, most wouldnt even notice!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
22
Here is my sad but true story!!!
by dissedsis ini was born into a well off family in the wee year of 1979. my father was a water/oil well driller and worked days on end so i rarely ever got to see him.
by the time i was waking up in the mornings he was already at work and when he returned home at night i had already gone to bed, so most of my days where spent without him.
i had sister that was 14 years older than i was and she had severe brain damage and had to be placed in a state home when i was 18 months old, so i do not remember to much about home life with her, other than it was like we had a "big" baby at home with us.
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dissedsis
I was born into a well off family in the wee year of 1979. My father was a water/oil well driller and worked days on end so I rarely ever got to see him. By the time I was waking up in the mornings he was already at work and when he returned home at night I had already gone to bed, so most of my days where spent without him. I had sister that was 14 years older than I was and she had severe brain damage and had to be placed in a state home when I was 18 months old, so I do not remember to much about home life with her, other than it was like we had a "big" baby at home with us. I also have a brother 12 years my senior and a sister that is 9 1/2 years my senior. My brother always went to work with my father when he did not go to school so much of my days where spent with my mother and my sister, learning about the watchtower. Mother would wake us up and take us out in service with her and take us to the meetings with her every Thursday and Sunday and on Tues. we had bible study inside our home. Everything we did revolved around the witnesses!!!!
When I started school, all the kids in my school where very aware that I was a Jehovah's Witness and the parents all looked down on that. I even had problems with the teachers being cruel to me because of my faith. I never really understood why because all I had ever known was the "truth" and the way my mom would explain it was that we were just being persecuted for being a Witness and that was perfectly normal. I was also told not to hang around with "wordly" association, and I did not go to school with any witness children so that I was all I knew at school. Mother encouraged me to hang around with the "well rounded" witness kids. So as long as I was at the meetings or with the witness kids everything was great, but school life was hell!!!!
When I was 9 years old my mother, sister, and I took a trip to NYC to see Bethel with an elder, his wife, and two young girls. I remember the way the elder would always touch his crouch, it was like it was an uncontrolable impulse that he had. He would touch himself during conversation with anyone. Very odd for a young girl to see. My mother trusted this family very well and the elder and his wife had even served at bethel before their two daughters where born. When we went to stay in NYC we stayed with a family that this elder had been friends with during his stay. His girls were taking a bath and they suggested that I take a bath with them. I remember while we were taking the bath that the two girls(one was 2 years younger than I and the other 3 years younger)made a game out of touching each others genitals and washing each other, and they suggested that they wash mine and that I wash theirs. I had never done anything like that before in my life!!!! These girls were very experianced at giving and recieving pleasure, and even though I was only 9, I realized the strangeness of the situation. After we had played in the tub for about an hour the elder, yes I said the girls father, THE ELDER, came in and "washed" us all up. I then saw how the girls learned how to be so thuro in washing. Afer we were all good and clean I remember it was time for bed. The last thing that I remember was that the elder suggested I sleep with him and his wife. I do not remember anything after that, but I have had extensive therapy done on me(this will come later on in my story) and it is evident that I was molested as a child. Even though I cannot tell you exactly who it was, I have my reasons for believing that this "elder" may have been the culprit.
When I was in the sixth grade, alot of changes where going on at school as well as at home. My sister and my mother had started getting into severe fights and I was totally unaware of the reasons for this, but later I would find out. Also at school, I had made quiet a few "worldy" friends and I was finally fitting in because my mother was more interested in my sister by this time than who my friends were. I can remember getting clothes from other girls at school and changing clothes into something more popular when I got at school than what my mother chose for me to wear as of that day. I also would walk up to the local stop and go store for lunch. When my mother learned of these activities, I started seeing my mothers true colors come out.....
Up intil that time I could do no wrong. Mother was so proud of me for going to the meetings and going out in service with her that I was her dream child. She would always show so much love for me when I would show any interest in the witnesses or the meetings. But... whenever she found out about my little goings on at school all that stoped. The day that she found out about the clothes exchange and the walks to the store she took me home and beat me with a belt, and then when the belt broke, she moved on to a twig. I was black and blue and I could not understand why mother had done this to me. I thought I was her little girl.... I thought that she loved me...... What was going on???
My sister was disfellowshiped when I was 11. I was so hurt by all the misunderstandings in my life and I felt so much resentment for my mother and her frequent spakings( I should say beatings) that I just kind of got lost in my own world. I remember one time going to a pep rally and when my mother came and dragged me out by my hair I knew that she meant business. She had gone up to the school and had found letters from other girls from school(you know the usual preteen chit chat on what boys where cute and who we liked and school sucked stuff, nothing serious). She had also found a picture from one of the guys that I went to school with. When we got home she proceeded to spank me while my sister watched, belt on my back and back of my legs. Just when the spankings were over(or so I thought) a friend from school called. After she got off the phone with my friend, the spankings started again cause this girl had called. I could not walk for the pain was so bad, I had bruises up and down my legs and my back. The next day at school, one of my fellow classmates reported it to a teacher and told the teacher what had happened. When I was sent down to the counselers office there were several teachers in there along with the principal that told me I was lying about the whole incident cause my mother was "such a nice person, and would never do a thing like that" they also informed me that if I let another word like that slip from my mouth that they would call and tell my mother what was being said. None the less, I never spoke another word about it...
Wanting love and attention from my mother again I decided to get baptized(I was still going to the meetings every time my mother went), and when I announced this to my mother the love started flowing back to me like it had never stopped. Boy it was great feeling that love again. I was 12 years old, taking the first step into my most horrifying trip ever!!!!
When I was 13 years old I was raped by a guy that lived in our town. He was not a witness, but fearing that I would somehow be to blame, I never told my parents. I was terrified at what lay ahead of me and I already knew that I had made the wrong decision for getting baptized, because I felt I was doomed to die at Armagedon cause I felt the rape was my fault. I started hanging around with the trouble makers at school and doing the oddest things. I was known as the "weird" girl at school. The parents of the witness kids my age would not let their children hang around with me cause they were saying that I was going to end up just like my sister, disfellowshiped. At the middle of my eighth grade year my mother decided I had psychiatric problems and sent me to a Charter in Dallas Fort Worth that specialized in Witness help. That was the biggest mistake that my mother could have made(wonder where my dad is at do ya, well it is easy to see that my mother wore the pants in the family and if the witnesses said to do it, she did it. Dad did not speak up until later)
At charter I did the most of my turning. All the witness kids there were such a good influence. They taught me how to smoke and how to do drugs and they even taught me how to properly move my hips during intercourse!!!! I was loving this shit!!!! It was great. For once in my life I had made witness friends that could teach me all about the real world and I could have fun with!!!! Mother was ublivious to it all!!! She was so happy that I was hanging around with the witnesses. THANKS MOM!!!
That summer after we returned to our home town I started hanging out with a witness girl that was 2 yars older than I was. I was 14 and she was 16. WOW she had a car and mom trusted her. We did everything together. We even had boyfriends that were brothers and they were also witnesses, we were best friends!!!! Her boyfriend was 25 and mine was 22. We had older men, a car, and we looked good!!!! What else could we ask for!!! We used to sneak out at night and meet our boyfriends and then up to the local motel we would go. Or maybe would just stay in their truck for the night, you know, us in the cab, them in the bed....well you get the picture. While we were doing this we had so much FUN!!! We even learned of how much fun the other witness kids were having. Life was great!!!!!
Then, my conciense kicked in. I had to tell. I felt so guilty andI did not want to see my friends not get to go to paradise for what they had done. I wanted to live in paradise, I loved Jehovah and guilt was eating me alive. I just knew everyone else would understand what I was doing. So..... I told. I told my mom, I told the elders, and then I told them. They hated me.. All of them.. They all denied it except for me. Even my 22 year boyfriend that I thought loved me so much denied it. I was going to be disfellowshiped for slander unless I could prove it.... So I proved it. Remember the motels??? Well, motels keep record of who come and stay for the night, I knew the exact night, and that is what kept them from winning, I won. I had never felt better in my life getting that off my chest, until my judicial meeting was set.....
6 Elders from different congregations sat in on my JM. The reason for so many and from different congregations was because when I told most of what I had involved the elders children from the congregation that I attended so they could not be on my hearing. When the questions started I could not believe what they were asking. I told damn it I though I was repentive for telling, and now these perverts want to know if I had an orgasm or if he stuck his fingers up inside of me. And if he did, did I move??? Did I "buck" against him???? I was 14, my mother and my father were both in here. I was mortifid so I refused to tell the intamate details. I got disfellowshiped for not indulging it all, and I mean ALL. EVERY LAST DETAIL!!! My best friend and her boyfriend were also disfellowshiped. I had another friend that got disfellowshiped, but WTS rejected her disfellowshiping(she was an elders daughter) on not enough evidence. I was crushed. I just knew I was going to die at Armagedon. I had lost. I was the bad one in the situation. The elders also advised my dad not to go to the authoraties about my boyfriend and our sexual escapade cause I was willing. I was 14 and he was 22. Guess what.... Dad went to the law!!!!1 GO DAD!!!!
After I was dissed mom felt it nesassary to take me back to Charter!! What I learned this time at charter changed my life and the way I would think for as long as I live!!! You know what the counsler taught me that time???? He taught me to THINK FOR MYSELF. He also told my mom to back off and let me have my own mind. Thanks dr. P!!!
Well, life has had its ups and downs since that day of disfellowshiping. I automatically got rejected from my mother and then when she would think I was going to come back she would get so happy again. The turning point that I knew I would never go back was when my oldest sister died and the "king" elder gave her eulogy. When the time came to mention the family members surviving her death he proceeded to tell my whole family, shit even her cousins and her sister in law, left out two people, my sister and I, the only two that were officially disfellowshiped(my brother was never bapt.). Everyone there noticed it. I told my mother about it and how pissed I was about it so the elder came to my house to appologize(he said that we must have just slipped his mind,(yeah right, he was looking right at us with a smirk on his face when he omited us) Then he harped on me about going to the meetings again and how they had the truth. I told them to kiss my ass, lit up a cig., and then told them to leave. I think they fell in love with me that day. Damn apostate:)
What hurts these days is that mom will go and take vacations with these girls that I grew up with and talk about them constantly but she cannot even call to say she loves me. Mother has not told me she loves me in years.... but.... I can get by without hearing it cause I will never do what she wants me to do to win her love.
Dad has grown into my best friend and the greatest man since all this happened. At my JM he decked one of the elders for asking to many questions(GO DAD) and he has helped me with links to sites like these. Any time I need a friend I call dad, he is always here for me now. His biggest regret now is that after I was born that he did not grab me and my brothers and sisters and run. Mother thinks he is the biggest apostate, little does she know he just knows how to use his brain. They are still married though by the way(hey forty years is a long time with someone to just say goodbye) Mom is scared to be alone(dad is very wealthy)and dad is just used to her. Sad but true.
As for the ones that got by when I was disfellowshiped, only two still remain in the truth. My best friend that got dissed with me long with her boyfriend wound up marrying the guy and they had a child together. Earlier this year they got a divorce because she foud out that he had been molesting her brothers since before they were married. About two months ago she got dissed for fornication along with another married man in the congregation. Her husband got no legal charges pressed on him(hmmmm wonder why) and was dissed for adultry, not for pedophilia. Crazy huh. The others just seemed to drop out as the years went by.
It has been nine years since that terrible day, but I will never go back and I am so happy to be rid of those people and I just hope that many out there find what they are truely looking for...... I know I have....... But I still have a ways to go...... Maybe Tuesday tafter dateline airs I will feel that true justice will have been served!!!!!!!Sorry this has been so long. Just had to let it out!!!! Hope you all like it and anyone feel free to email me and talk about their own story. It is truely healing to let it all out!!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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Singer Van Morrison a Witness
by MarchOn inhi guys, .
do any of you know if van morrison was ever a jw or studied with the jws?
i was listening to howard stern the other day and his daughter was on the show.
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dissedsis
Never heard that about ol Van but my hubby came home the other day and said that he read in a (nonother) Penthouse that Prince was either a Witness or studing with the witnesses. Do you know any truth about that???
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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A question for the JW's
by dissedsis inwhy do you think that we are at war with you???
that is one of the things that make me the sickest of your ho dump inbred relegion because you always think that you guys get the butt end of the deal and that the jw's are always being persecuted for doing the right thing.
just a little history back during hitlers reign, the witnesses were not persecuted, in fact they were in good standing with him!!!!
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dissedsis
I mean that the witnesses only love when it is convenant for them. My mother is a witness and as long as I was going to the meetings with her she would come in my room at night and tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. Everything she did, she did for me. When I started having my own mind and going against the witnesses my mother started severly abusing me. She has even told me at times that she doesn't like me, but she has to love me. And now, when I try to talk to my mom the chit chat is low and she hasn't told me in years that she loves me. Huh, funny cause she tells Jo Ho girls my age that she loves them on a daily basis. One time mom even told me that she did love the witnesses more than she loved her own family. Very conditional. As long as momma is happy momma loves me, but make momma mad, and I am the devil. Also tell me how disfellowshiping isn't conditional love??? You are a witness one day chatting it up with all the others and taking trips with them and then the next when it comes out that you are disfellowshiped, not another word is spoken to you. Hell, it is even hard to get them to look at you after that!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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A question for the JW's
by dissedsis inwhy do you think that we are at war with you???
that is one of the things that make me the sickest of your ho dump inbred relegion because you always think that you guys get the butt end of the deal and that the jw's are always being persecuted for doing the right thing.
just a little history back during hitlers reign, the witnesses were not persecuted, in fact they were in good standing with him!!!!
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dissedsis
I agree with you so much justlittleoldme. I am so thankful that I am not with that "sect" anymore. and you know you hit something on the head... they DO have conditional love!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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A question for the JW's
by dissedsis inwhy do you think that we are at war with you???
that is one of the things that make me the sickest of your ho dump inbred relegion because you always think that you guys get the butt end of the deal and that the jw's are always being persecuted for doing the right thing.
just a little history back during hitlers reign, the witnesses were not persecuted, in fact they were in good standing with him!!!!
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dissedsis
Why do you think that we are at war with you??? That is one of the things that make me the sickest of your ho dump inbred relegion because you always think that you guys get the butt end of the deal and that the JW's are always being persecuted for doing the right thing. Just a little history back during Hitlers reign, the Witnesses were not persecuted, in fact they were in good standing with him!!!! During WWII there were only 1,000 witnesses that died compared to the thousands of other religions, and it isn't reported on how they died during those years, so it could have just been by natural causes. The Jo Ho's are constantly running down the "false" religions every time you turn around. If they weren't, then why is it "forbiden" to have wordly associates??? And..... if you aren't a witness you are worldly?? I learned everything that led to my disfellowshiping from the Witness'. I hear you guys cry and cry all the time about being put down and persecuted, but if you would leave others alone, then everyone else would leave you the fuck alone also. Nobody likes being told that they are superior to others do they???? I SPIT IN YOUR FACE!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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Any announcements on Sunday(Silentlambs)????
by closer2fine inthink there will be any announcements on sunday encouraging people not to watch any worldly news programs about jw's?????
hinting that some apostates & df'd ones are featured?
i'll be interested in hearing.. they'll probably try to tie in how this must be the beginning of the end - the governments picking on jw's & it must be like touching jehovah's eyeball.
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dissedsis
I believe they will make the whole talk on Sunday over to be careful what you watch and hear because the "world" is just trying to get them down blah blah blah blah.... You know how the story goes!!!
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis -
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Apostate warnings-WT 15 May, 2002.
by Nemesis ini just noticed some more anti apostate lessons in the latest watchtower.
here is a scan of the offending article, may 15, 2002, p. 27 .
looks like we are all now poisonous roots, and a fellow believer must not divulge confidential matters that might endanger them.
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dissedsis
I remember the first time I ever heard of an apostate and that was when I was 9 years old and my mother and another family and my sister and I went to bethel. There was a man that would stand on the corner yelling at everyone that walked around and into bethel telling of all the wrongs in bethel. We were told not to even look at him and that he used to serve on the GB and was thrown out for apostacy. At the time I thought it was the greatest sin ever to do that. Little did I know then that they were just trying to tell me that he used his own mind!!!! :)
Never leave the ones you love...but..Never love the ones that left. ;)
dissedsis