Welcome to the forum Winnie.
As someone who is actively "fading", I'd like to address your issues. I can't speak for others but I still attend some meetings, less each week and don't openly make waves because if I did I would lose my family. That's a price I will not willingly pay.
I do not shun DF'd ones. I don't "chat it up" with them at the KH but if I see them out and about I greet them. I even have a good friend whose son was recently DF'd and I called him up and offered my support.
The elders know I have serious concerns, particularly about the UN/ngo issue. I have not been in FS since June. I would love to shout from the rooftops what my deepest feeilgs are but if I do I will most certainly be DF'd. Not my rule - theirs.
I think most others who post here and are still to some extent associating with the WT have simlar reasons as mine.
Is that so hard to understand?
DO you realize that your black and white view of things is very similar to the WT? Maybe you have not been out long enough to overcome these harsh feelings.