Earlier this Summer, on my trusty old Honda 750.
Posts by dmouse
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81I will show you mine, show me your... motorcycle
by jayhawk1 in.
i hope i can get this picture to attach, but here is my motorcycle.
come on, and show me your's or your dream bike.
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46
Just wanted to say "Hi" to all and "Thank You"
by codeblue inhello to everyone of you on this forum.
i am new here...have been reading this site since january of this year.
i have been raised in the truth and published for 36 years...(yes, i have been very timid about posting...because i am new and because i feel i must have something of value to contribute).. since feb. i have seriously been reconsidering this org.
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dmouse
Hi and welcome Codeblue!
After all your shocks I hope you get some peace here, there's some really great folks to guide and help you.
(and I think Scully's especially great )
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
Hope today is better than yesterday
Thanks Scully. Well, I don't really know, I'm getting the silent treatment now, which I suppose is better than being screamed at (better for the kids too).
Only trouble is I don't know what's going through her head...what's she planning? I don't think she met anyone after all today (according to Chloe, who didn't go to school) even though she stayed off work. I think she's staying off work tomorrow too.
I approached my Head at school and found out that she is a 'Relate' counselor (marriage counselor)! So she was able to give me some good advice and allowed me some time to contact a lawyer. As the mortgage is in both our names and I've done nothing wrong I've got nothing to worry about on that score.
Legal issues aside it's just a horrible situation to be in. Our marriage is over, purely because I decided that her religion was no longer for me. I have done nothing to merit such treatment under 'normal' circumstances. Crazy.
Well, better get the airbed out. Last night I slept on the couch (she wouldn't let me into the bedroom), which isn't very comfy.
Thanks so much everyone for all the hugs and advice. It has really helped. I'll let you know if anything concrete happens.
Luv Dean.
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
To all those that have replied and pm'd me:
You guys rock.
Managed to get a few minutes with my daughter Charlotte, apparently my wife is having tomorrow off work to consult with some bigshot local JW lawyer.
Your collective advice to consult my own legal counsel seems most appropriate. Only trouble is as a teacher I've got 25 kids relying on me to turn up tomorrow; shit. Not only that but the school has got a big government inspection (OFSTED) in three weeks time and we are working all the hours God sends to get stuff sorted. This has come at a REALLY bad time, talk about stress!
Thanks to all your advice I'm feeling calmer and more collected. Something funny happened this afternoon...a police officer called just at the time when I didn't know where my kids were. I thought the worst, but he was just making routine enquiries about a burglary a few doors down.
Geez, it was my little girl's 14th birthday today. What a crap birthday she's had. Seems that in her own mind that she has decided that 14 is old enough to make her own decisions. I fully support her right to make her own spiritual way in life, shame her mum doesn't agree with that.
Again, thanks for all the love and support shown here, you folks are really special.
Dean
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
Update:
She's just come back, with the girls.
Once they are settled in the other room she came in and told me she can no longer bear to be in the same house as me and has asked that I leave! Her plan is to sell the house and split it fifty fifty, but she says it's easier for me to move out in the short term than her because she wants to take the kids. I told her no way. I'm not leaving the house and why the hell should SHE get the kids. So no progress yet.
Looks like it's getting messy, Geez what a bad Sunday!!!!
Thanks y'all for the moral support, will let you know if anything else happens
Dean
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
Phew! The car is outside her mother's (five minutes walk away) so at least I know they are somewhere safe.
Scully, I suggested to my wife about seeing a professional marriage counselor a few months ago but she didn't seem keen. She said she would think about it but we never mentioned it again. You know what JWs feel about such agencies; regular meeting attendance, field service and study solve ALL problems.
I agree with Minimus that she is terrified that she is losing control over the children. To her mind, it reflects on her own inadequacy to "bring them up in the discipline and mental regulating of Jehovah". Rather than admitting her own inadequacy or even worse to her way of thinking the inadequacy of the JW belief system to retain its youth, she chooses to use you as a scapegoat.
I think that's it, yes. Things were never the same between us after Ben left the religion. That was the turning point when our relationship just sort of stopped. I tried for ages to carry on with a normal marriage but she turned utterly cold towards me. No physical or emotional affection at all has been expressed towards me by her since about a year last Christmas.
It's Sunday, so I can't take any legal advice today.
I'm hoping that it won't come to that and it'll all blow over. I can hope can't I?
Wonder if I'll get a visit from the elders? I wonder what they will advise her?
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
Thanks so much for all the support friends, it means a lot to me.
Scully, I'm going to walk round to her mother's now and see if the car is there, so at least I know they are somewhere safe. If not then I'll have to get my bike out of mothballs and go up to the hall.
L8r
Dean
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95
I need advice quick...and a hug.
by dmouse ini'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...i don't know where.... ok, some of you long-timers may remember the problems i had with my son ben, who decided that the jw religion wasn't for him about a year ago.
i supported him as best i could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of christian churches in the area and finally settled on church of england, which he really likes now.. although no longer a christian myself i have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason).
that has been the case with all of my children: ben, 15, charlotte, 14 and chloe, 12. i have never attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although i have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion.
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dmouse
I'm in a bit of a state at the moment, my wife has just left me about 30 mins ago and took the kids...I don't know where...
OK, some of you long-timers may remember the problems I had with my son Ben, who decided that the JW religion wasn't for him about a year ago. I supported him as best I could through that and he's developed into a fine young man with a more healthy spiritual attitude, investigationg a number of Christian Churches in the area and finally settled on Church of England, which he really likes now.
Although no longer a Christian myself I have no objection to them pursuing whatever religious path they choose (obviously within reason). That has been the case with all of my children: Ben, 15, Charlotte, 14 and Chloe, 12. I have NEVER attempted to stop my wife taking them to the meetings although I have voiced to them privately my concerns about the religion. But I have had nowhere near the input into their spiritual development that my wife has.
She is a devout JW and this morning things came to a head. Charlotte has for some time been expressing to me that she doesn't believe the JW religion is the Truth anymore and really hates going. This morning, out of the blue, she told her mum that she will not go to anymore meetings. My wife got really angry. She was screaming and shouting at Charlotte, physically forcing her to get changed for the meeting, and shouting at me for 'killing the children' and how much of a bad father I was and she hated me.
I didn't know what to do
Eventually I could see that Charlotte was getting really distressed so I stepped in and told my wife that it was OK to take Cahrlotte to the meetings if she could be pursuaded through normal means but I was not going to allow her to be bullied, either through emotional blackmail or physical intervention.
My wife went ballistic and told me that if I didn't back down she would take legel action against me! She told me she had been recording things, writing them down!! (I don't know what). She was going to get me kicked out of the house.
Anyway, I stayed as calm as I could for the kids, I didn't even raise my voice even though my wife was screaming at me.
But I stuck to my guns and said that I would not let her force the children to go to a place they hated day after day week after week.
So she grabbed the girls, who were sobbing, and left in the car. Charlotte didn't even have any shoes on...
I haven't a clue where she's gone (I'm hoping her JW mother's), I didn't dare physically intervene, I just don't know where I stand on this and didn't want to make things worse.
So I'm left shaking and bewildered in an empty house wondering what the hell is going to happen and I don't know what to do.
Dean.
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93
My two week consulting trip to Bethel (the beginning of the end) part 2
by seven006 inas we entered a door of the administration building we did not head to the elevator to take us up the eight floors to the main administration floor.
i looked around the room and asked, "what's up with her?
i was going to work with the elder from hell who ran the photography department.
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dmouse
Great stuff Dave, does this bring back any memories of breakfast at bethel?:
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I've heard all about you!
by SM62 ini have heard about this forum from someone, but i won't say who as i don't want to expose them.
i am in the process of evaluating my life as a jw.
it has been a pretty sad life - without a real feeling of 'belonging'.
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dmouse
Hi SM62!!!!!
A very warm welcome to you Terri, from a fellow Englander
I felt scared too when I started posting but that will soon pass. Most folks on here are very nice, just the odd jerk to watch our for, but they are fewer and far between than they used to be.
DON'T WORRY - YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!!!
TTFN
Dean