Posts by LisaRose

28

For all still in.... fakers. Help.

by Sofia Lose in

am i alone in this feeling?

i wish i could muster the cojones needed to tell my husband "i want a divorce, move away, not be a jw anymore!".

i find myself screaming these same words over and loud inside my mind, several times a day, and yet on the outside my actions could not be more opposed to these inner feelings.. sometimes i worry that this internal conflict will cause me to go crazy.

LisaRose

Pay no attention to to Mr. Doubt Sofia, it seems he kept the holier than thou attitude of the JWs

Only you can know the right thing to do. Nobody here knows you or your husband, or what you are going through, so it's ridiculous to pass judgement. It's usually best to work on a marriage, especially if young children are involved, but ultimately it's your decision. Some marriages cannot be saved and no loving God would expect you to sacrifice any chance for happiness if that is the case. It's also not necessarily a good thing for your husband if you stay even though your feelings for him are gone. It's possible he would be happier with someone else, someone who loves him as you cannot. That is the hard part, knowing if it's possible to love him or not.

I realize I did my ex husband no favors by staying. In an attempt to be a submissive wife I let him get away with a lot of things that I shouldn't have. He only thought of himself and I enabled him by staying and taking it. Possibly the marriage might have been saved if I had stood up to him earlier on, but by the time I left I couldn't stand to look at him. There was nothing to save.

I didn't make that mistake with my second marriage. We have issues like anyone else, but we work them out because I learned to speak up if something bothered me. It's not perfect, but it is a marriage in a way my first one never was. My husband is my soul mate and best friend and I love him deeply.

31

has anyone seen vidio on youtube about why they changed cover of songbook search youtube jw.org embarrassment

by poopie in

jw
friends

any thoughts.

LisaRose

There is a picture circulating on the internet right now of a woman announcing the news. Many people think the shape of her chest area not covered by her sweater looks like a penis. It's obviously unintentional, I doubt the woman picked that sweater that day because it made her chest area look like a penis.

I have read that men think about sex more often during the day than women and are more visually stimulated when it comes to sexual images. It's seems they are just "hard wired" (pun intended) to see the shape of a penis (or breasts, etc.)

I read the book "subliminal seduction" back in the seventies and believed the premise that it was possible to be influenced by images that were not consciously perceived. The book gave an example of an image of popcorn that was inserted into a movie preview for a fraction of a second. Supposedly it caused people to go buy more popcorn, even though they didn't notice the popcorn on a conscious level. The only problem is that it's a total urban legend, the is no record of such a test ever being done.

The image could have been placed there deliberately, but either way I don't see what difference it makes, it's a total non issue to me. There have been several threads about this already, time to give it a rest.

28

For all still in.... fakers. Help.

by Sofia Lose in

am i alone in this feeling?

i wish i could muster the cojones needed to tell my husband "i want a divorce, move away, not be a jw anymore!".

i find myself screaming these same words over and loud inside my mind, several times a day, and yet on the outside my actions could not be more opposed to these inner feelings.. sometimes i worry that this internal conflict will cause me to go crazy.

LisaRose

I was right where you are now. stuck in a bad marriage and struggling to take the next step. A chance connection to a friend from high school gave me the motivation I needed to make the break. I had no idea if the relationship would work out, but it made me realize I had to move forward with a divorce, as the marriage was killing my soul.

I did move forward and have no regrets. I have been happily married for fifteen years, but even if I was alone I would be happy I ended the bad marriage. Listen to your heart, trust your instincts. Do not feel guilty for wanting to be happy, it's not a crime, but essential to be your best self.

26

Please help me figure out my dreams

by Socrateswannabe in

jw
friends

hi everyone, this may be the stupidest post ever.

i am stumped for an answer and would love to hear your opinions, though.

every week or two for the last couple of years, i have a dream--or at least that's what i'm calling it--that consists of me waking up or thinking that i've waked up, and seeing the ceiling of my darkened bedroom filled with algebraic equations.

LisaRose

My guess is that you have some anxiety about education, the board and equations could just represent things you don't know about but wish you did or think you should. Have you considered taking a class or exploring an interest? It's not necessarily math, it could be anything. Many who leave the JWs find they can now do things like that, may be your subconscious is trying to tell you something.

Or it could be meaningless, who knows?

85

jw.org cart days numbered?

by jookbeard in

reading a report of an elder in a friends cong has been hiding and spying on the pioneers who seem to have a practise of dumping the cart and finding a local coffee shop, i've noticed that they do this in my local high street as well but this week they seemed to be all huddled around the cart, they've clearly been warned, a vast percentage of the time i see they seem to be more interested in fiddling with their mobile phones and gossiping, is just seems these carts are a means for the pioneers to turn in "easy time" i wonder what sort of figures show how much literature is being taken by the public?

i bet its very minimal.

naturally the gb would say they are a phenomenal success , we clearly know they are not.

LisaRose

Regarding the original topic, the literature carts, I doubt the organization will do away with them. I don't think they care if the people manning them are looking at their cellphone or going to Starbucks, anymore than they care if the average JW only knocks on three doors, talks to no one and then goes for donuts every Saturday. It's all about appearances, hours reported and keeping the flock busy. The average JW makes a pretence of preaching, and the Watchtower doesn't care because they no longer make money from it.

The literature carts give the illusion that they are progressing and moving ahead, and that's enough to keep people contributing, at least for now. The slackers manning the carts probably feel slightly guilty for getting away with easy hours, and guilty people are easier to manipulate.

91

Epic Discussion ( Confrontation ) with JW Cart People about WT Child Abuse

by flipper in

so i had about had enough of reading jw's excuses online about wt child abuse and the candace conti nightline abc video about her case.

this is a really deep burning topic to me as i'm sure it is to many of you.

so today the gloves came off.

LisaRose

Excellent job! They are used to going to people's homes, interrupting them and attempting to force their putrid religion on them, now they have to sit and take it when you turn the tables.

61

KH 1st timer, could use some advice

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hey people, .

i am soon going into a kh for the first time and i could use some advice around etiquette etc.

i know next to nothing besides the fundamental beliefs of jws, i personally dont believe in any religion, and that stance isnt ever going to change, however i don't want to come across as rude or disrespectful.

LisaRose

As to the memorial, the only important thing to remember is NOT TO drink the wine or eat the bread. It's a major faux pas, as this is a privilege for only a few people who believe they are in a special group of 144,000 people who will go to heaven. Everybody else will live the earth, so they are supposed to simply pass the wine and bread around while not drinking it. It's their only real celebration all year, so people tend to get dressed up a bit more, but other than that it's as boring as the other meetings. It opens with a prayer and song, there is a talk, which emphasizes that you SHOULD NOT drink the wine or eat the bread. Then there is a prayer over the wine, then it gets passed around so most can refuse it. Everyone tries to see if anyone actually does drink the wine, so they can gossip about them and speculate on their mental health. This is because the religion taught for years that the number of the 144,000 were all ready picked, but they keep getting more partakers so after various other explanations, they started hinting that those people have mental issues. The same thing happens with the bread, then another song and prayer and the ritual refusal to celebrate the sacrifice of Jesus is over.

I think you should go, as it's an insight into how irrational the religion is, but do go to a regular meeting as well, it will help you better understand why your wife is the way she is.

34

ABCNews Nightline: Segment on JW absuse cases here......

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

here is the segment on the conti abuse case in california and jehovah's witness's response as reported on by the abcnews nightline broadcast which was shown early this morning.

it really displays some absolutely shocking behavior from not only her abuser and his (supportive) wife, but also the jw attorneys and elders via video.

i am just blown away by the audacity displayed by these monsters.. we can now understand why governing body member stephen lett slipped in his comments a couple of weeks ago about "untrue reports of child abuse" in one of his talks which can viewed on the cult's website.

LisaRose

Wow. What kind of a woman would stay with a man who molested her grandchild? Shameful and disgusting, and that from people who claim to be Christian.

35

Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.

i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.

if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.

LisaRose

My mother was the same way. I was never a good enough JW to suit her, it actually was a bit of relief that she shunned me towards the end of her life. I believe she loved me in her own way, but she was too brainwashed to ever really accept me as I was and that was her loss. It was sad, but her choice. Sometimes peace comes with accepting that things are what they are. I looked at it the same as if she was mentally ill and so not quite responsible for what she said, which I think is true to a certain extent.

5

Socially awkward

by tamagotchi in

jw
friends

growing up a jw has made me some what socially awkward.

i would often push people away due to my weird traits.

this was made worse by surrounding myself with certain people within the congregation who didn't have my best interest at heart, who now i know where trying to bring me down, this has invoked in me trust issues with people i meet.

LisaRose

Yes, I think many of us have these issues. I think it's partially due to that fact that being in a high control religion makes social interactions very different. You are in a group that all believes the same things and conforms to the same schedule of meetings and field service. It means it's quite easy to have many acquaintes, but sometimes harder to find real friends. It also means you cannot be your true and honest self if that self deviates in any way from the expected.

Of course we are all unique individuals, but it can mean we don't quite know how to interact with those outside the organization, especially when we first leave. This is compounded if you have a more introverted nature.

The solution is to just get on with it, the more you do it the easier it gets. Social awkwardness usually stems from being very self aware and being afraid that others will judge you. The more you worry, the more you are likely to do something wrong, which just makes things worse. Somebody once said that you shouldn't really care what people think about you, because they aren't really thinking about you that much. Most people just think about themselves mostly. The huge social blunder that seems so huge to you is probably just a minor blip to everyone else, by the next day they won't remember it.

It does get easier as you get older and are exposed to more social situations and different people. People do like to talk about themselves, so asking questions (nothing to personal though) is always a good strategy and takes the focus off of you. When all else fails, talk about the weather.