Posts by LisaRose

37

I'm a coward.

by cappytan in

jw
friends

since the move, it has been so enjoyable to not have jw's breathing down our necks asking why we didn't make the meeting, or having to pretend to be "spiritual" in front of family all the time.. 90% of my week is virtually stress free.

then, my mom calls or texts wanting to talk to her grandkids.

every dang call, she asks about the new congregation, if we went to the meeting, etc.. why can't i tell her to fk off?

LisaRose

This is hard for everyone, so don't feel bad. My mom would ask nosy questions like that, she knew my heart wasn't in it and I wasn't going to all the meetings. It was just annoying and exhausting, you want just to tell them that yes, you aren't going to the meetings, and you don't want to ever again, but that kind of honesty is hard after years of not talking about anything real, and you know it will get ugly. When I left for good I told my mom in a letter, that's how much of a coward I was. But that's what happens when their approval is strictly based in you being a good little JW just like they are.

I am going through a similar, but non JW related issue right now. I have a friend who is super needy and seems to like much more than I have ever liked her. It's gotten to the point I don't want to be friends more, she is always pressuring me to come over, but she is exhausting, I have health problems and and I suspect she is just using me. I have been avoiding her calls, talking to her less and less, but she calls freaking every day. I finally turned the answering machine off, but she still hasn't taken the hint. I was hoping to dial back the friendship to an every so often kind of thing, but it's clear she will just keep pushing and I am going to have to end it. I am horrible at this kind of thing, so I just keep putting it off.

22

If you don't enjoy working with the public choose another career.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

i'am sure you have come across someone with that type of personality, working in sales, clerk, waitress or waiter.

most are nice but once in a while you come across that person that needs to choose a different career.. this morning i met that person, she just screwed up my day.

i'm thinking maybe her day wasn't a good start,a fight with her husband, bills or children but don't screw up my day.

LisaRose

The worst customer service is the DMV. I moved from Colorado back to my home state of California. On the form I was asked if I had had a California Drivers License WITHIN the last ten years. I answered no, since it had been ten and a half years since I left. At the counter the clerk says: "You mean you've NEVER had a California DL???"

I said "Well, I have had one, but it's been longer than ten years"

She looks at the computer and gives an aggrieved sigh, then barks at me "You are in the system! This is wrong, you have to fix it! cross it out and say yes, that you HAVE had a DL in the last ten years, then initial"

WTF? I was wrong for stating the truth, now I have to sign something that is not true. Whatever, it wouldn't bother me if she hadn't acted like I did something wrong and been so rude. The only good thing about it was that was when I knew I was really back in California.

124

My Mom Is Dying

by minimus in

jw
friends

i just wanted to say that my dear 89 year old mom is terminally ill and will soon pass.

she is on morphine and hanging on.

she has been a devout witness for about 60 years and a wonderful mother.

LisaRose

You were very lucky to have had a close and loving relationship for so many years. Although that doesn't take away the pain of losing her, it means you will always have those memories, and that's a lot.

98

My Opinions on whats going on in WT land - Insider Information

by thedepressedsoul in

first off, i'd like to state that i currently have "privileges" in the congregation and volunteer at bethel on and off throughout the year.

that's as much information as i will currently give about myself.. starting off, i think something big is coming in the form of lawsuits and bad pr.

they seem to be batting down the hatches in preparation for something the last few years and even more so the last few months.

LisaRose

They are crazy if they think volunteer, JW lawyers will help them in any significant way. There are not likely many of them out there and most of those are not stupid enough to give their labor away for nothing. Even if they could find some, what are the odds they have the kind of expertise that would help them? It's just another indication that they have no idea what they are doing.

12

Are You A Thinker And A Lurker?

by konceptual99 in

jw
friends

if you are a lurker then you are probably a thinker.

you will already be wondering about a number of aspects of jw doctrine and how they stack up against reason, logic and modern scientific evidence.

if so, then i appeal to you to meditate and reason on one implication arising from the latest news that the next publication will be a simplified version of an already simplified book.

LisaRose

Very well written post, I don't think you sound bitter at all Konceptual, just determined to make a case for reason and logic. It's,a plea to think, to not accept the easy answers. If any JW are visiting here it means they already have doubts and are not going to blindly accept the Watchtower "all apostates are bitter" argument.

12

WT Failure To Engage In Charitable Works

by Joe Grundy in

i never was a jw.. wtbts and its hydra-headed organisations world wide has charitable status.

yet, as far as i can see, it carries out little or no real charitable works.. last weekend my son and his friends did a 420 km cycle ride and mountain walk in aid of a local hospice at home charity.

they've raised (so far) 5,000. this charity makes a real difference.. this a video of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ijr7ipvrek&feature=youtu.be.

LisaRose

In my last few years as a JW I couldn't shake the feeling that field service was completely futile and an inefficient waste of time. It hit me that I would have felt much better spending that time volunteering and doing something that would help people in a more immediate, concrete way.

For all the emphasis put on the door to door work, the JWs aren't growing any more than any other religion, and not as much as some. Most JWs know this and are only engaging in it because it's required, they don't enjoy it and are not good at it. Most time supposedly spent in door to door work is wasted going to the meeting for field service, driving to and from the territory, driving around aimlessly going to return visits, and stopping for coffee.

Just think what they could have done if those hours had been spent in actual, productive work of some sort. A church I visited did the following in one month:

Organized an Easter egg hunt for low income children, along with some candy eggs the children found cans of tuna and other food for their families.

Got together and made sandwiches, which they handed out along with protein bars to guys waiting to be hired for day labor.

Took the money earmarked for Easter flowers for the church and contributed to the local food bank.

Many church members play musical instruments, they all practice during the week so they can have good music at every service, which included a five piece band, a choir, and a hand bell group. Other church members volunteer to make food for fellowship after services.

Any of those things are better use of time than field service. The Watchtower knows they this, but they don't care, because it keeps people too busy to think about any of this, and because no amount of time spend in field service is ever enough for "mother", it keeps them feeling guilty for not doing more and for not really liking it and not being good at it.

71

Any thoughts on the real reasons for droppng the 'school"

by sparrowdown in

jw
friends

my thoughts are.

1. they want to avoid being made to comply with any laws that come with anything classed as a "school" especially a school with children enrolled.. 2. the mid-week meeting has been dying in the ass for years and needs a revival.

i predict happy -clappy-sing-a-longs to be included in the program.. anyone else have any thoughts ??

LisaRose

I haven't been in a kingdom hall in fifteen years, so I don't know if my speculation is worth anything, but I can't sleep tonight and I thought of some possibilities. My guess would be they are having a hard time getting and keeping enough qualified elders, so the ones they do have are struggling with the demands of being an elder while also maintaining a full time job and having a family. Think how many parts the the elders have to do each week, conducting, reading, talks, service meeting parts, etc. Maybe they are getting burned out and stepping down or leaving the religion all together, leaving fewer elders, thus making the problem worse. Young men are not reaching out as much (and why would they considering what they have to do?), current elders are aging out, they had to do something.

This may be simply a way to take some of the workload off of the elders, and make the meeting more relevant to everyone else. Video presentations will take up some of the time, sisters can give door to door demonstrations, possibly the new "our Christian life and ministry" will be beefed up so there is less for the elders to prepare, possibly a lot of question and answer parts.

Another factor is that the the TMS was a failure anyway, it's not obligatory, so some don't even join, people often forget they have a talk or get sick. And for all that, most JWs can't even do a decent presentation. They should have gotten rid of it twenty years ago and focused on making sure everyone can at least do a decent magazine presentation.

Really, they should just cut the meeting down to an hour or give it up entirely, but they can't let that happen, it's a cult and they need to keep everyone running on the theocratic hamster wheel, busy, busy, busy. I doubt all this will help much though, they are just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

5

Shock belt to control defendant?

by little_Socrates in

skeen also ordered a shock device be placed on calvert for security reasons because of his unpredictable behavior, legal officials said.

on sept. 15, when calvert did not stand up at the judge's request, skeen had an electric shock administered on the defendant that caused him to twist in pain before the jury, local tv broadcaster kltv reported.. .

http://news.yahoo.com/questions-raised-shock-belt-used-texas-murder-trial-112021293.html.

LisaRose

It sounds like torture to me.. It's not a requirement that the defendant be present for his trial, if he isn't behaving he should be sent back to jail, not shocked. I've seen them used on dogs, it's only effective when the collar is on, once the collar is off the dog is worse, not better, and I wouldn't even use it on a dog, much less a person.

14

help me to readjust my thinking about my hypocritical ex....

by losingit in

i am really struggling with this particular situation in my life, and i really need your help to readjust my thinking.

i am recently divorced from my ex-jw husband.

we were both disfellowshipped at around the same time about 2-3years ago.

LisaRose

I don't know why he refused to do things with you that he now does by himself, but this religion does strange things to people. You often get this dynamic when people are struggling with the harsh requirements of JW life, hot one day, cold the next as the cult personality waxes and wanes. Maybe you wanting to do things outside of the religion aroused his cult mind control and he wasn't ready to go there yet. Maybe he wanted you to be the good little JW wife so he could be the bad boy. Maybe he is a narcissistic, selfish jerk who cares nothing about anyone but himself. hard to say, maybe he doesn't even know

For whatever reason he has abandoned all restrictions and is now doing whatever he feels like without the burdens of marriage and fatherhood. Even though you are loney you are better off without him, trust me on that. You can now meet someone without the JW baggage. But don't be in a hurry, focus on your children and your job, figure out who you are, then you will know what you want in a partner.

447

Does Anyone Still Believe in God?

by LaurenM in

do any of you ex-jw's still believe in god?

even with the new rebranding/softening of this religion, i still don't see how people can believe in him.

the god of the old testimate is an angry murderer who approved rapes and slavery and killed thousands of men, women and children.

LisaRose

I lost faith in the God of Jehovah's Witnesses when I left them, but still thought there was a possibility that some kind of God did exist. I was content to leave it like that for about eight years at which point I found JWN. After reading many posts by atheists and others I stopped believing in him or her altogether.

For a while it seemed a bit of a loss, I envied those who still believed, as it seemed to help them get through life somehow, even if God was only in their imagination. I missed spirituality and even attended a liberal church for a few months in hopes of finding it there. Gradually I came to prefer the uncomfortable truth rather than the comfortable lie. Now I feel I have gained back my spirituality, but a better spirituality based on truth not fantasy. I have hope for the future and am enjoying my life very much. For me spirituality is in every moment of connection between two souls, in every beautiful sunset, in every thing I create, in every great meal I cook. I don't need anything more than that.