Posts by LisaRose

16

Any African in here?

by sankara23 in

jw
friends

hello guys, i've been an off and on reader of the various discussion threads here.

i'm sankara (obviously not my real name), a third generation born-in, currently an m.s, and yeah, writing from nigeria.

discovered ttatt a couple of years back while i was in college.

Welcome. We here in the U.S. have noticed the growth slow down no matter how many hours are spent in field service, people are just more aware of things, the internet is everywhere, they are not getting new recruits, except in the foreign language congregations.

We have noticed growth still continues in areas that don't have as much access to the internet and higher education.

Don't be discouraged, maybe you can be helpful into letting interested people know that the Watchtower is not what they claim. You may not be able to do so openly, but a well placed letter to bible studies to make them aware of the lies the Watchtower tells might do a lot of good.

You could be the double agent/spy.

10

Mandatory Reporters of Child Abuse

by Dissonant15 in

all states in the us mandate health care workers and teachers to report suspected child abuse to law enforcement.

this year our commonwealth expanded the law to include clergy, and to include a mandatory two hour training on what to look for and how to report, required for all mandatory reporters.. my coworker at the hospital said she and her husband did the training together, because her husband volunteers in the sunday school at the church, they required him to take it too.

i asked several witnesses when this law came into effect if all the elders and ms are going to be taking the training and everyone looked at me like i was an alien and they had no idea what the heck i was talking about.

LisaRose

The clergy usually only get an exemption when it is a confessional type of arrangement, one priest, on confessor. Since the JWs do not have this arrangement the courts have usually ruled pentinent privilege does not apply to them. A JC cannot claim pertinent privilege because three elders are involved. All mandatory reporting laws in force do apply.

The clergy-penitent privilege, clergy privilege, confessional privilege, priest-penitent privilege, clergyman-communicant privilege, or ecclesiastical privilege is an application of the principle ofprivileged communication that protects the contents of communications between a member of the clergy of any religious faith (a “clergy” is a minister, priest, rabbi, or other similar functionary of a religious organization, or an individual reasonably believed to be so by the person consulting him) and a penitent, who shares information in confidence. It stems from the principle of confessional privilege. It is a distinct concept from that of confidentiality (see non-disclosure agreement).

34

heartbroken and not sure what to do...

by Khaleesi in

i don't know what to do.... i married last year and things have been very rocky.

we dated for 4 years and did have normal issues but always had a lingering doubt something was just not right in our relationship-behavior to be more specific, he is not a jw, but i am.

yes i know i married outside the "lord" but after my first marriage to a jw ended in divorce for physical abuse, i was glad i didn't married another jw.

LisaRose

Sabin, OP is the original post. Sometimes people hit the dislike button by mistake, I've done that, some days I have fat fingers. I try to leave a post explaining that, but someone could have done that and not noticed.

34

heartbroken and not sure what to do...

by Khaleesi in

i don't know what to do.... i married last year and things have been very rocky.

we dated for 4 years and did have normal issues but always had a lingering doubt something was just not right in our relationship-behavior to be more specific, he is not a jw, but i am.

yes i know i married outside the "lord" but after my first marriage to a jw ended in divorce for physical abuse, i was glad i didn't married another jw.

LisaRose

Forget the anniversary stuff, lack of intimacy would be the deal breaker for me. I am lucky to have that in my marriage, even though we are older. Sex and Intimcy is the glue that kind of holds things together, I can't imagine being married without that. What is the point then? Just to have someone to go out to dinner with once a week? You might as well be single, get a cat and make friends with your vibrator, and not have to put up with his issues. It's a major red flag this early in a relationship that he is just not feeling it.

Maybe it's time for a separation while you think things through. If he doesn't see it's a problem and is not willing to deal with it are you ready to have a marriage without that?

34

heartbroken and not sure what to do...

by Khaleesi in

i don't know what to do.... i married last year and things have been very rocky.

we dated for 4 years and did have normal issues but always had a lingering doubt something was just not right in our relationship-behavior to be more specific, he is not a jw, but i am.

yes i know i married outside the "lord" but after my first marriage to a jw ended in divorce for physical abuse, i was glad i didn't married another jw.

LisaRose

very difficult and i am on a breaking point, I guess if he doesn't give much thought into our anniversary that is my sign...

I don't think you are being fair to him to make this a make or break issue. You know Aspies don't pick up on social niceties, this is something even regular guys have problems with, so what chance does he have of knowing this is important to you?
Don't get me wrong, I think you have a right to decide that life with someone with these issues is not what you want, but if you do decide to stay you need to spell out those things that are deal breakers, then learn to live with those things that are just petty annoyances.
So tell him your anniversary is coming up and that it's important to you that he do something romantic for you that shows his commiment. One good thing about Aspergers is that once you do get through to him he will probably never forget it, this is a discussion you only need to have once, lol. Yes, it takes some of the romance away, but it's can be a good example of adjustment s you can make to have a successful marriage with someone who is different.

And whatever he does, don't criticize him for it. If he thinks getting a vacuum cleaner is a romantic gesture, don't tell him otherwise. As they say, it's the thought that counts. I had an Aspie co-worker, I said something that hurt his feelings and he didn't talk to me for months.

33

A new member

by Kurteousmaximus in

hi... i am new and after nearly 20 years after being disassociated at 15 i would like to make contact with others who have similar difficulties.

my mother was disfellowshipped shortly after my rebellion and had all ties with both her mother and brother cut and that remains the case.. just really hacked off with not being able to put things in the proper place in my life after all these years.

for the record i don't know if i believe in god but am searching for some peace as i seem to self destruct on a regular basis.. any ideas anyone?.

LisaRose

Good morning and welcome!

It's not uncommon forpeople to still be influenced in a negative way even years after leaving a destructive religion like the JWs, so you are not alone in that. It's hard for those who have never been involved with a cult to understand why your problems don't just go away because you left. It's good to be around others who have gone through the same thing who understand why it's just not that simple.

Thereus a lot of good information here, also support and friendship, so pull up a chair, sit down and stay a while.

Lisa 🌹

7

How intelligent people get recruited and psychologically trapped in manipulative groups like Jehovah's Witnesses.

by Island Man in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iauhr-trkhy

LisaRose

This is great, it explains so much. It's similar to a book I am reading right now. It explains so much about why it's possible to recruit otherwise intelligent people into a cult and why it's so hard to get cult members to leave.

14

The sound of a train...

by LevelThePlayingField in

jw
friends

i remember hearing the sounds of the train horn blowing on january 1st 2015 and remembering, "another year and no armagedon".

and i was so disappointed.

i hated to hear that train whistle blow.

LisaRose

I live near an Amtrack rail, the trains pass through several times a day. I love the sound of the horn and the soft rumble of the train. It makes me feel safe, the trains are running, life is going on as it should, right on schedule, all is well.

It's nice to not have to think as about doom and gloom isn't it?

34

heartbroken and not sure what to do...

by Khaleesi in

i don't know what to do.... i married last year and things have been very rocky.

we dated for 4 years and did have normal issues but always had a lingering doubt something was just not right in our relationship-behavior to be more specific, he is not a jw, but i am.

yes i know i married outside the "lord" but after my first marriage to a jw ended in divorce for physical abuse, i was glad i didn't married another jw.

LisaRose

Asbergers can be a problem, but it doesn't mean you cannot have a successful relationship. You need to sit down and have an honest discussion with him about your needs and his willingness to try to meet those needs. Does he feel sex is a problem? Does he see he needs to change anything? In my limited experience with Asbergers, he may need to have things spelled out, they typically do not pick up on social subtleties.

Think about the future and what you might expect going forward. Do you see yourself having children? Do you think he is capable of being a good father?

Do not let that fact that you failed in a relationship previously affect your decision. This relationship either works or it doesn't. If this cannot work, it's better to find out now than five years from now, when you have even more time invested. Think long and hard about what you want and what he is capable of.

28

Candace Conti

by Pubsinger in

so we know that wt settled out of court for an undisclosed sum and that presumably there was a 'gagging order' attached to the settlement.. not having really thought about what a 'confidentiality clause' meant before, i assumed in the past that it meant that you weren't allowed to disclose the amount of the settlement or any details about it.

but from the total and absolute silence once the settlement was made, i can only assume that it is a total gagging order.. how can the courts allow such a restriction to be put on a victim?

protecting the abusers and allowing the institution to cover up the lengths they go to to avoid admitting their guilt?

LisaRose

If they settled out of court, it was the choice of the parties involved, the courts cannot prevent a person from reaching a settlement.

And her name is Candace Conti, not Conte.

And what she probably agreed to was not a "gagging order", but a non disclosure clause. A gag order (not gagging) is usually issued by a judge during a trial to prevent people from talking about it. Again, it was an agreement between the two parties in the case, the courts cannot (and should not) prevent two parties from reaching such an agreement.