Posts by LisaRose

34

My boyfriend is thinking of becoming reinstated

by gypsyvine in

i'm not really sure where to post this.. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and i've really never been happier.

i was brought up in the church of christ with an elder father and i really believe in my religion, although i will admit to being a lousy christian at times due to sheer laziness (not wanting to get out of bed on sunday).

my boyfriend essentially lives with me.

LisaRose

It's possible that it could all work out, but it's not going to be easy.

The big question is, does he believe this religion is the truth or not? This is a cult, plain and simple, they use mind control to manipulate people, it's a hard thing to overcome. If he has researched this religion and doesn't believe it's "The Truth", and is only going back for his mom that would be one thing. But if he is just having a detour, engaging in conduct he believes to be wrong out of weakness, then the outlook for the future is not good for the both of you. Very often young JWs will have a rebellion, but later go back out of guilt, because they never understood how much they had been manipulated, and still think this is the one true religion. Of course he would never believe or accept that it is a cult, that is the nature of cults.

I would hate for you to invest a lot of time in a relationship only to be disappointed when he decides to marry a JW. Even if you got married, the JW life is to be quite involved in the preaching work, hours of meetings every week and lots of study. Are you prepared if he decides to embrace that life? What if you had children, are you OK with them going to the Kingdom Hall on a regular basis? How would you feel if your husband taught them that you will be destroyed at Armageddon because you were not a JW? This is what they actually believe. You have seen for yourself the awful practice of shunning, is that what you want in your life? I have seen hundreds of families torn apart by this, including my own, it's not pretty.

If I were you I would ask your boyfriend to do some research on the history of his religion. Most Jehovah's Witnesses have been taught to fear anything written by former members, we are considered "mentally diseased apostates". It's a sort of phobia, the fear makes them reject anything we say, that's why it's so hard to get them to mentally break free. But if he is willing to look into it you might have a chance. I suggest JWfacts.com as a start, or to read the book "crisis of conscience". If he refuses to consider "apostate" sites, then it's going to be harder, but you could suggest he research some of the main teachings from a neutral source. He could research early leaders like Charles Russel, or Rutherford on Wikipedia, do a search on sex abuse and Jehovah's Witnesses or the Australian Commission and Jehovah's Witnesses. Also, have him research one of the churches main teachings, which is the end times chronology based on the fall of Jerusalem in 607 (hint, it didn't actually fall in 607). If you are willing to do some research, I suggest "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan. He has good info on how to help someone in someone in a cult to break free.

Good luck.

18

DF'ed arrival/departure times at meetings

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i didn't want to derail another thread, but something said made me wonder.

i know that i noticed df'ed people come in right when the meeting started and leave right when it left most of the time.

is that some sort of actual rule?

LisaRose

It's awkward for every one involved to have a disfellowshipped person sitting in the Kingdom Hall *NOT* being talked to. It's not normal human behavior to shun another human who you know. It's especially excruciating for the disfellowshipped person, so why would they get there any earlier than they had to?

21

Thoughts during the meeting today

by stephanie61092 in

while i'm politely sitting during the meeting today, restraining myself from rolling my eyes as the brother drones on about how "having an independent spirit is devilish in nature" and "independence from gods organization only results in pain and strife", i only have one thought going through my mind over and over.

"what would happen if i pulled out a gun and blew my brains out in this kingdom hall?".

would anyone notice or care?

LisaRose

I am sure it must painful sitting there as an outcast, and of course that is the point. They want it to hurt, they want to break you so that you bend to their will and never have an independent thought ever again, that's how cults work. it's how they maintain control, not just of you but of the others as well. If you can make people be deliberately cruel to another person you have made them more likely to stay in the cult, as people will then have to justify their cruel behavior to themselves, they Then must believe there was a good reason.

I am sure the others would be shocked and saddened if you did something like that, but they would find a way to justify the cruelty in their mind, they would have to in order to live with themselves. Cognitive dissonance would not allow them to see their culpability.

I know it was just a passing thought, but I can't help but be concerned for you well being. I hope you have a support system of people that can help you get through this. While shunning is considered normal in the JW world, it's not normal behavior, it's one of the most hurtful things you can do to a person. Perhaps there is a support group you can join? You shouldn't have to go through this alone. I also highly recommend meditation. it's something you can do while sitting at the Kingdom Hall and could help you get through the next few months (you do not have to close your eyes to meditate, so no one would know).

I am always available via PM if you need to vent.

36

I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....

by Muddy Waters in

some areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.

and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.

and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.

LisaRose

I move about every ten years, it sort of forces you to purge. My husband's parents had to move after living sixty years in the same place, it was awful. My father in law didn't get rid of anything, and put off every decision to the last minute. Just keep reminding yourself that it's only THINGS, and things are not important, your relationships and freedom to have an orderly life are far important than any material possession. If it isn't usefor and doesn't bring you joy, get rid of it, no matter how much you paid for it or who gave it to you.

I like Blondie's four box method, simple and doable. Another resource is the fly lady, http://flylady.net/. It's a forum for people that have trouble cleaning and organizing. She recommends something called the 27 fling boogie. You get a trash bag and pick out 27 things to throw away. You just keep doing that, a bit at a time so you don't get overwhelmed.

30

Do you think JWN members would be surprised if they got to know you in real life?

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

i don't think you'd recognise me much at all.

i'm a royal mail postman, i love my job for the early starts and midday finish, the outdoors and the exercise.. i get on with people but i'm quite insular and don't enjoy crowds.

i'm happiest when i've fired up the charcoal and i'm making souvlaki or adana kebabs for my family and a few close friends.

LisaRose

I am not much different in real life, although some might be surprised that on any given day I am often covered in paint. I have a small business fixing up old furniture and making things out of reclaimed wood, it's pretty messy, I have a workshop in my garage where I assemble and paint. I also buy and sell some antiques, I have space at an antique mall. I don't make a lot of money but it keeps me off the streets, lol.

My husbandand and I enjoy going to the movies, eating out and gardening. I enjoy sudoku, spider solitare and reading. I have a cat, Lizzie, she got sick this week, I thought she was a goner. Apparently she had a gallbladder attack, stopped eating and drinking, I had to force feed her. Fortunately she pulled through and seems fine now. Being as I don't have an outside job, she keeps me company, so I don't know what I would do without her. She enjoys music, stealing things and makes up games to keep herself amused, her favorite thing is to find ways to punk mom. She lays in wait to grab my ankles from under the bed, sneaks up behind the couch to smack me on the head, etc.

That my life, pretty boring.

107

Stephen Lett at our assembly today

by StarTrekAngel in

he delivered the most cultic piece of propaganda i've ever seen in an assembly.

wife typed up the whole thing.

i will be posting when i get a chance.

LisaRose

Moses had a speech impediment. God doesnt choose what we think he should choose. His advice was sound.

Yes, Jehovah doesn't choose what we think he should choose, but does that mean we abandon all critical thinking? There is a huge difference between a speech impediment, which doesn't affect your thinking processes, and whatever is going on with Lett. There are a number of very good leaders and speakers in the organization, intelligent and well spoken, true believers (even if mislead, in my opinion), so why would Jehovah choose this clown over them?

There are many people joining lately who are here directly as a result of these videos, they can no longer believe in an organization that would choose this person as a leader, as there is obviously something very wrong with him. Seriously, what would it take for you to lose faith in the governing body if these videos do not do so? Does his overly animated expressions and simplistic speaking skills not bother you at all? What would it take to make you question things?

14

Time Machine

by HB in

caveat 1: those who believe jesus is truly the son of god may wish to avoid this post.

although my thoughts are only proposed for mild amusement and interest and in no way intended to offend, for some, the concept behind the idea may be an affront to preciously held beliefs.

if that’s likely to be the case, kindly just don’t read.

LisaRose

I have ever avoided theological comments here. But, Jesus doing tricks? Like healing the blind the lame and the bleeding?
No comments please but I feel you are going heavy on the guy.

Is it really that much of a stretch to imagine Jesus was more like a Pentecostal faith healer than someone who could actually do miracles? You have never played the game telephone? People from a line and person one whispers something to person two, who whispers to person three, etc. By the end, the first statement bears no resemblance to what is understood by the last person. People have fluid memories, we are not tape recorders, and people of that time were far less sophisticated than now, easily manipulated into believing they were seeing something extraordinary. It wouldn't have been been very difficult for someone to fool them into believing they saw a miracle, which could have easily been exaggerated in the retelling.

If I wanted to be the alternate Jesus, I would bring a big batch of antibiotics, to make people believe I could heal the sick. I would carry a few books containing a list of (for them) of future events, which I could sell to the highest bidder once I proved it was accurately predicting the future. I would have books on modern medicine, electricity and other scientific advances, but using solar power. I would throw in a few magicians sleight of hand trick to impress the masses. Then, when I had amassed enough power and influence and built up an organization I would have told them about evolution and the scientific method and told them to top believing in fairy tales. I would have told them to stop treating women as property and stop using slavery.

107

Stephen Lett at our assembly today

by StarTrekAngel in

he delivered the most cultic piece of propaganda i've ever seen in an assembly.

wife typed up the whole thing.

i will be posting when i get a chance.

LisaRose

The fact that Letto the clown became the leader of any religion continues to astound me, I would not have voted for him for dog catcher. His exaggerated facial expressions make me uncomfortable, I have a hard time forcing myself to look. I can't decide if he is a simpleton, or evil incarnate, his rubber face a result of an unsuccessful attempt to hide a deficit of the soul. Either way he scares me. Had I still been a JW when he started making these videos I would have had to start asking myself some hard questions.

25

Is a piano inevitable?

by slimboyfat in

i was at a concert last night and the presence and stature of the piano struck me.

and i thought: if the piano wasn't invented when it was, would it have been invented by someone else instead?

or if there was a world the same as our, except with a different history, would it have pianos now too or would it be modern world, similar in many respects, only without pianos?

LisaRose

I was watching a movie the other night that had a plot line about the glass harp, a kind of musical instrument I had never heard of. It has bands of glass of different sizes or sometimes just wine glass of various sizes, which are played with a moistened finger. The sound is quite pretty, very ethereal.

I think the piano would have been invented no matter what, it's just such a versatile instrument. On the other hand we may or may not have had a glass harp, although the sound is beautiful, it has limited applications.

But then again maybe everything is inevitable, given enough time. There may be instruments yet to be invented, just waiting for the right person to come along to think of it.

29

Gay advice from the Governing Body

by Listener in

according to them you are not gay if you are attracted to the same sex, it's just hormones and you might grow out of it.. i wonder what hormones in particular they are talking about and if they feel that a female who goes through menopause is in danger of turning gay or even if taking hormones will adjust your thinking?.

this is from the wt org website.

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/pressure-to-be-gay/.

LisaRose

That would be funny if it weren't so tragic. There is zero evidence that being gay is a passing thing, this is horrible advice. I really feel for the gay JWs that might actually believe this nonsense.