LisaRose

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Posts by LisaRose

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  41

  Disfellowshipped for celebrating Xmas?

  by Theburstbubble in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i could really do with some advice on what's acceptable when you leave.

  we have left of our own accord about 6 months ago.

  we didn't celebrate xmas this year but have just celebrated my daughters birthday.. a friend of mine who is still a witness told me that an elder had approached her and asked if we had celebrated xmas and that if we did it was a df offence as is classed as apostasy!

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  LisaRose

  Yes, you can be disfellowshipped for celebrating Christmas. I don't know if there is a time frame.
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  45

  OK - I've had it - My letter to the KH

  by LisaRose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the whole time i lived in colorado, i had the dubs come by once and leave a tract.

  but since moving to california, they are at my door so often i asked them to put me on the "do not call" list.

  this did not stop them, in fact i have asked four times, plus once i called the kingdom hall and left a message, they still come, the last time this past saturday.

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  LisaRose

  Wow, this is an old thread.

  After a few more visits where I gave them an earful and told them I would call the police, they finally stopped knocking at my door, they haven't been by in more than a year.
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  105

  Does anyone think Jehovah is protecting the org. despite all the talk about THE ARC ?

  by tor1500 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been thinking this for a while.

  even before the arc scandal.

  it seems no matter what, the org.

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  LisaRose

  I must admit that thought never crossed my mind. I think they have gotten away with their abuse because they are a cult and keep people in the dark as they have so much control.

  The government doesn't do anything because religion is a sacred cow and most governments do not want to get involved, as it's very hard to prove anything when most everyone involved is afraid to say anything.

  I do think eventually it will catch up to them if they don't reform.
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  51

  Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

  an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

  survival is at the core of what belief is about.

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  LisaRose

  I agree, but we seem to be going the other way lately, away from rational thought, not towards it.
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  51

  Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

  an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

  survival is at the core of what belief is about.

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  LisaRose

  YOU are a very special Feeler/Perceiver. Of course there is much more to personality types, and each type has its strengths and weaknesses. The data only suggests correlations over large populations. If the survey had been taken 15,000 years ago, the Feeler/Perceivers would have ruled!!!!I

  Actually I am fairly close to the middle when it comes to feeler/thinker. But I don't agree that being a feeler makes you necessarily unable to use logic, nor are people who are very far to the thinking side make better decisions in my experience, and I have known a few. At the very least, their extreme lack of attention to the feelings of others make them very difficult to work with. I worked with an ISTJ who was extreme in all four qualities. Her communication skills were terrible and she sometimes missed huge red flags because she was so focused on productivity, she didn't see the forest for the trees. She was also pretty annoying to be around.

  But most people are not extremely one side or the other, and I believe the ideal is to use the thinking side of your brain when it's required, but to temper that with attention to emotions, when that is needed. I do think feelers can learn to be more logical, and thinkers can learn some emotional intelligence and culture and education can have a big influence.

  I do think there will always be a place for feelers, even as the world skews towards and rewards more rational types. Even if religion fades away, and I think it will, we still need artists, musicians and healers, and I think we feelers will always be drawn to those professions.
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  51

  Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

  an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

  survival is at the core of what belief is about.

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  LisaRose

  Heeyyyy, don't knock us feelers DJS, we have our uses, lol.

  But even I don't get fisherman's points. Like just because someone write down that a horse talked thousands of years ago it must be true and that is evidence of God? Come on. How many JWs believe they have experienced demonic activity, when even what happened was quite easily explained by a more rational person? Sadly, people are quite easily fooled.

  People believe what they want to believe, what fits their need to believe, they don't let pesky facts get in the way, that's why logic on its own will never convince a believer.
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  23

  Where do I start telling a psychologist about the mental trauma I feel as a fading jw?

  by Simple Minds in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i am on a pension, so i could not afford to pay for a psychologist, but my good doctor referred me to a free clinic for people on a low income, for my anxiety and depression, so i have finally got my first appointment with a psychologist since i started my fade, so where do i start trying to explain the mental trauma i feel as a fading jw?

  i would appreciate your advice.

  simple .

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  LisaRose

  I also recommend two things for dealing with difficult emotions, journaling and meditation. Sitting down every day to write a few pages can be very helpful. It doesn't matter what you write, just write. If you do this consistently it will help you start getting your thoughts up and out. This will make it easier when you do sit down with a therapist. Years of being a JW makes it almost automatic to bottle up your thoughts and feelings, that takes time to undo, journaling will speed up the process and make your therapy more productive.

  Meditation is very helpful in dealing with negative emotions, it has proven health benefits and has been life changing for me. It costs nothing and only takes a few minutes a day.
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  30

  Control - Whose worse, the JWs or the traditional churches?

  by fulltimestudent in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we once experienced, the "you'll die at armegeddon," fear instilled into us as jw's.. was that worse or better than the fear of eternal torment instilled by more conventional religions?.

  john spong gives his view.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkah3hemv3m.

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  LisaRose

  Granted, the hell fire doctrine is abhorrent, but to me there is a big difference between teaching that something bad will happen to you when you die and teaching that at any time (and soon) God is going to destroy the vast majority of the world's population. And salvation for churches happens based on belief in Jesus Christ, where the Watchtower teaches that you must be "whole souled", which means basically that you must do everything they say or you don't have a chance. It's just a whole different level of ugliness.
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  23

  Where do I start telling a psychologist about the mental trauma I feel as a fading jw?

  by Simple Minds in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  i am on a pension, so i could not afford to pay for a psychologist, but my good doctor referred me to a free clinic for people on a low income, for my anxiety and depression, so i have finally got my first appointment with a psychologist since i started my fade, so where do i start trying to explain the mental trauma i feel as a fading jw?

  i would appreciate your advice.

  simple .

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  LisaRose

  It's important that you tell them that you were in a cult. Most psychologists don't know much about cults, and fewer know that the JWs are a cult. I recommend reading Combating Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan, as he gives a few tips on what to tell mental health professionals about your cult experience.
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  42

  Something isnt quite right.

  by atomant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  l was wondering if others get the feeling that the world we live in seems not quite right.l can not pin point anything specific but since childhood days l often get the feeling something isn;t correct.you know the feeling of deja vu.

  am l the only one to feel this way?ld love to hear from others and any storys they may have.having been raised in the jdubs maybe lm just suffering mild bouts of paranoia .

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  LisaRose

  I think some people just have a natural tendency to be more sensitive to the evil that exists in the world, It can be hard sometimes not to become convinced that it's hopeless and of course some of us are just more naturally pessimistic. Religious groups like the JWs use that to manipulate you. When all seems bleak it can be tempting to believe that God is going to fix everything and all you have to do is to give up your autonomy and do everything they say. When you find out the Watchtower lied about so much it can be hard, because the comfort of believing there is a plan is suddenly taken away.

  Unfortunately there is no easy answer, no quick fix and anyone saying otherwise is lying. But it doesn't mean it's hopeless, it just means you have to find a way to go on without the false sense of security provided by the religion. There is good in the world, and things are not as bad as you would think if all you do is read the news. There are no headlines that say "crime rates go down" or " not as many people went hungry last year".

  We all make choices every day about what to focus on and what to do with our lives. You can choose to focus on the evil in the world while doing nothing about it, or you can choose to focus on the positive, while at the same time doing what you reasonably can to make the world a better place for you having been in it, it's entirely up to you.

  The JWs tend to focus on the bad, because it validates their belief that everything is hopeless and that we need God to fix everything. Especially if you tend towards such negativity and black and white thinking in the first place , that habit can be hard to overcome. Constantly reading bad news is like a junk food diet for the mind, it's not healthy. But you can choose to focus on more positive things. Maybe you stop watching the news for a while, or at least cut back. Maybe instead you seek out things that have a more positive spin. It's important also to value friendships and family relationships, because those bonds will help you combat negativity.

  Instead of thinking about how bad the world is, take some small step every day to make it less so. Do things fit in with your values, or that address concerns you have. I am concerned with the environment, so I try to do things that reflect that. I actually have a business turning reclaimed wood into vintage style signs, turning unwanted junk into something useful. I compost, turning my kitchen scraps and yard waste into garden amendments, reducing the need for fertilizer. I reduce, reuse and recycle whenever possible. I know that my actions are a drop in the bucket, that there has to be a massive shift in the world if we are to stop greenhouse gas from altering the climate, but I do what I can, which is as all any one can do.

  I also have a tendency to focus on the negative. I have found that regular physical exercise is really important to keep a positive mood. For those of us with a tendency to internalize, to dwell on problems, physical exercise is a way to turn that focus around, out towards action, other people, towards the positive not the negative. Finally, I also highly recommend meditation, as it has been life changing for me. Meditation has proven health benefits, lowers blood pressure and improves mood.Your sense of doom could be your mind trying to deal with your fears and unresolved emotions. Meditation is a way to deal with those feelings and help you see a way forward.

  Lisa 🌹