Don't assume your husband would make your life miserable if you simply disassociated, maybe he would and maybe he wouldn't, but don't let his bad behavior control you. He doesn't like it and he will do whatever he can to stop it, but what can he realistically do to you if you actually did it? Sometimes the threat of something is more scary to people than the actual fact if it, he might calm down once he realizes that you are going to do what you are going to do. It's your life and marriage of course, but I can say I lived too long in a bad situation because my first husband made things difficult and threatened all kinds of things that I realize now he would never have done, he was just afraid of losing me. If I had it to do over again I would have left years earlier and gotten on with my life.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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LifesNotOver - Part Four
by LifesNotOver inso ... i don't know if any of this is even of interest any more, i know i'm getting kinda bored with it :) so many other more interesting stories out there.
anyway, limped my way through 17 years being a jw until now.
not a good jw mind you.
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JW Acumen & Education = NO VALUE IN THE REAL WORLD
by Black Man inhaving been out of the cult for a few years now, i can finally sit back and accurately access the good, bad and the ugly, especially as it relates to education and having a sense of self-worth and realizing your potential.
in my opinion, religion is a total crock, but at least in some religions there is at least some value that you can translate your experiences and education gained in such into the real world.
for example, the mormons have their own accredited university where you can obtain a degree and you can actually put that down on your resume and use it in the real world.
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LisaRose
It's so true, all that time we spent bored to tears at the meetings was totally wasted. You might say the ministry gives you some experience in dealing with the public, but these days you never really get to talk to anybody, so that doesn't hold true. At one time it did benefit them to a certain extent, because there was some growth and they made money on the literature, but that isn't even true anymore, it's all now just busy work, knocking at not at homes, driving around to return visits (that are rarely home) and standing by the literature carts. And the meeting are just repeating the same tired information, while most JWs still couldn't explain anything other than the most basic teachings.
It's all just a big waste. Think of what all those people could be doing with their time; doing real volunteer work or getting a real education.
To quote Donald Stump: Sad!
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Chelmsford is green-lighted
by Saltheart Foamfollower inlooks like chelmsford is going ahead after all.
here is the text of a letter to be read out this week:.
to all congregations in britain and irelandre: branch relocation project updatedear brothers:we rejoice to inform you that in june of this year, the governing body gave approval for thebritain branch to relocate to new facilities that will be constructed just south of chelmsford.
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LisaRose
Good to know that Armageddon won't be for at least another four years. I guess it's a little early to start heading for the basement and bunkers.
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Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go
by Sevan inhey all, .
so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.
some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.
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LisaRose
oh good grief. Get over yourself DJS.
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Hello Everyone
by Mozzie inhoping this is the right section..... my story so far,,,.
hello everyone, i have been reading a lot on what most jws would say apostate websites, but i have been asking myself, how much of this s true and considering a lot of these are run by ex jw elders, bethalites and one who was with the gb at one stage, overseers and the like.
i was an unbaptized publisher many years ago but never got to the point of baptism as i fell into sin, that pretty much ended my attending meetings again.
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LisaRose
Mozzie,
Welcome! I am sorry you are so stressed out by all of this right now. First of all, take a deep breath and relax. The Watchtower has been saying Armageddon is coming for over a hundred years now. They originally thought Armageddon was going to be in 1897, then 1914, 1935, 1975. They have a 100% failure rate in date predictions, so why believe them now?
The world is not as horrible as they paint it, in fact there has never been a better time to be alive. You have a better chance of living a long healthy life than you have ever had. So don't panic, OK?
You only keep thinking about this religion because of your early experience with it, it's not based on logic, it's based on the mind control techniques they used. They use fear, obligation and guilt to control people, that is why you have a hard time letting go of it. The more logical part of your brain tells you that an organization that does the things they do could not be approved by God. Do you think God want you to make decisions based on fear, or decisions based on truth and logic? Investigate the religion some more and trust yourself to make the right decisions. Look at JWfacts.com for the truth about "the truth".
You obviously have a good heart, you know it would be wrong to leave your family, so trust that. After twenty years I am sure in your heart you are married, so who cares that you don't have a piece of paper? Your wife sounds like a really good woman, so why would you hurt her by leaving? No religion is good if it tells you to do something that would hurt others, and leaving would hurt your family.
Don't jump into anything, take the time you need to make the right decisions.
Lisa🌹
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Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go
by Sevan inhey all, .
so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.
some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.
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LisaRose
I am an atheist, but I fully support your right to believe what you want. I look at the atheist/believer debates as more of an intellectual exercise, not an attempt by atheists to convert anyone to their way of thinking. Yes, it does get heated at times and I can see where it might be hard if you have recently left or are still in the religion, because people are not a allowed to disagree. It might seem kind of out of control, or that people are being mean, but the reality is most of these people have been debating each other for years, so they actually aren't getting that upset about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, just stay out of those threads.
What is important to me here on JWN is mutual support for those who have been harmed by the Watchtower and bringing attention the the negative aspects of the religion. I think that is something we can all agree upon.
BT W, I was at a family gathering recently and was raked over the coals by a cousin because I admitted I was an Atheist. I didn't bring it up, she did, and I felt very uncomfortable, so it does go both ways. I wouldn't in a million years done the same to her.
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Fb pages
by Drwho inim not a jw and never was but had a bad encounter with one , ie my gf was one .
anyway , i was wondering if fb pages are actually allowed , i thought the wt frowned upon them ?
here is one i discus in regularly , maybe take a look and leave a comment on the tripe they write , it looks very well done and presented ,https://www.facebook.com/honor.jehovah/.
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LisaRose
Dr.Who,
I left because I started changing and growing as a person and started to see some of the hypocrisy and lack of love in the congregations, especially as I was married to a disfellowshipped person (they practice shunning of former members). I was basically treated as somewhat tainted myself, so I was very loney. I also was in a very bad marriage that I was not allowed to leave even though he was disellowshipped (they only allow divorce on the grounds of adultery). Basically, I just could not do it anymore. My physical and mental health began to suffer and I came to the point that I just didn't see how any lovinng God could possibly want me to live like that, and if he was not a loving God, then why was I suffering for him? I left and have never been happier.
I was still so brainwashed that I thought they were closer to what the bible taught than other religions, but I just didn't care anymore. Since then I have learned how very wrong they are on many things, and how they manipulate the scriptures to justify their beliefs and how they hide their history of doctrine changes, bad date predictions and flip flops. It's not hard to prove they are wrong to any objective person, it's just that they use mind control to keep people from questioning their belief, so it's really hard to get a believing JW to question anything.
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Fb pages
by Drwho inim not a jw and never was but had a bad encounter with one , ie my gf was one .
anyway , i was wondering if fb pages are actually allowed , i thought the wt frowned upon them ?
here is one i discus in regularly , maybe take a look and leave a comment on the tripe they write , it looks very well done and presented ,https://www.facebook.com/honor.jehovah/.
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LisaRose
If your girlfriend has been a JW for forty years, then she has believed the end was close for forty years and it has not once occurred to her that they were wrong forty years ago, so it's unlikely anything you say will make any difference. I was told I would never have time for a career "in this system of things" (in the Awake magazine), I am 61, yet they still tell young people the same thing. Mostly JWs become defensive when challenged, then shut down, so that hardly ever works.
As for apostates, JWs have been so conditioned to fear them that it is unlikely you will ever make her listen to anything we have to say. You could try the tactic that truth should stand up to scrutiny, and that if what she believes is logical and make sense then she should not be afraid of her beliefs being challenged, but don't hold your breath. I was so afraid of apostates that it wasn't until eight years after I left the religion that I came here, it took that long for the brain washing to wear off, the fear is that deeply rooted. Keep in mind that she has been attending hours of
meetingsbrainwashing sessions for forty years. -
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Part One of what could be a long introduction
by LifesNotOver inhello - let me try to explain.
a couple of months ago or so i joined this forum, then shortly after checked out jwrecovery which seemed a better fit personally and joined them.
started to feel comfortable there and they closed, and i pouted for a while.
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LisaRose
Welcome. I look forward to reading more of your story, when and if you are able to share, until then know that you are among friends.
Lisa 🌹
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here i am
by notalone ini was a 4th gen born in.my adult children were the 5th.
my mother was one of the newly'anointed' we have all left.
i have been lurking since october.i was really too terrified someone would find out who i was and what would happen.well we are out now so here is a part of my story.
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LisaRose
Welcome. I am so sorry you had to find out the truth about the truth in such a painful way, but glad you were able to see through the lies and find your way to freedom, especially since you were able to get your whole family out as well.
Welcome also to your new life, I hope you enjoy every minute of your newfound freedoms.
Lisa🌹