Posts by LisaRose

19

What is your story?

by HereIgo in

i thought it would be fun to get to know each other's background a little better.. what brought you into the "truth"?

were you born in?.

what caused you to have doubts?.

I was converted, along with my parents, when I was thirteen years old, back in 1968, at the time the thinking was that Armageddon was going to come in 1975. I was influenced by my ten years older sister who was the first in the family to be converted.

I left in 1999 after 28 years in a bad marriage (my ex husband was disfellowshipped early on). I could no longer see any reason I should have to suffer, nor any reason God would want me to stay in a destructive relationship, and I had lost faith in the organization due to its failed teachings. I walked away, moved and never looked back, although my JW family treats me as if I am disfellowshpped.

I have been out for seventeen years now, happily remarried to the love of my life, a guy I wouldn't date in high school because he wasn't a JW. Life is good.

Lisa 🌹

26

Finding out that jws are not what they make out to be

by nomorepain13 in

*warning this is long* it all started on the last day of the "remain loyal to jehovah" convention.

a little background story, i've been raised as a jw, been in and out of the religon, never baptised but was made an unbaptized publisher about 3 years ago, always felt out of place in the congregation, blamed myself for this because if i had just went to meetings and did all the right things then i would have friends and not be in the mess that i was.

right after becoming an unbaptized publisher i met my now fiance, end up leaving my mother's house to live with him, elders haven't contacted me about my situation even though i'm sure they know as my step father is an elder...but anyway on the last day of the convention my fiance came with me as i was visiting my mother and had planned to go with her and her husband to the convention.

LisaRose

Trust your instincts, you are asking all the right questions.

What did it for me was the fact that the Watchtower has predicted the end of the world many times, always incorrectly, but still act as if they possess special knowledge about the end and still pretend that Armageddon is just around the corner.

I was told as a young person in 1969 that I would never have time for a career in this system. This was in the Awake, not some individual. I am 61 and they still tell people not to go to college because the end is so close. What's worse, they pretend they never said 1897, 1914, 1925 and 1975 would be the end of the world. That is the very definition of a false prophet.

41

I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i know i will get a lot of backslash on this forum for saying this, but as it looks like, i won't ever be able to escape the jws.

i have been a born in, third generation jw and awoken in one way or another (i joined this forum 15 years ago) for a very long time.

but i have adapted to the jw lifestyle to a point where it does not bother me anymore.

LisaRose

It's your life, if you want to stay in a religion because it makes it easier to meet girls, nobody is going to stop you. Having been in this religion for thirty years I know how hard it is to break away, but I can tell you that you won't know how much it is limiting your life until you leave. If I knew then what I know now I would have left a lot sooner that's for sure.

It's hard to go into the unknown, hard to leave the familiar for something new, but confronting our fears and taking a risk is also the only way to improve your life and grow as a person. Don't believe the Watchtower bull that all "worldly" girls are promiscuous, that's silly. And so what if they do have experience? Don't let your fears dictate your life.

17

Anybody else having trouble walking away?

by JW-Matrix in

jw
friends

ok...so i'm a 19 year old fifth generation jw.

mentality, i've been out of the "truth" since i was 16(woke up after i was baptized ironically), but on the outside i'm a model jw.

my parents are really devoted, my grandparents are super devoted, and so are my ants and uncles.

LisaRose

This is something I learned the hard way: You can't live your life doing something that is not you because you are afraid of letting others down. I tried that and it didn't make them happy, because I could never be the kind of JW they wanted me to be, and it made me miserable, because I was still living a lie.

Live your life. People will be disappointed, but they will adjust.

33

Introduction

by robrog8999 in

jw
friends

hello all.... i am new here so i figured i'd make a quick post introducing myself and giving a brief intro as to who i am and what i'm here for... as well as to hopefully meet others.. so, i made a profile and in it i gave a pretty detailed explanation as to my intent here and exactly why i decided to participate in the boards.

in case you don't read it, i'll give a brief summary.

the name is robert.

LisaRose

I have come to believe that what is important in a religion is not necessarily doctrine, but whether that religion meets the spiritual needs of the people. You could argue the trinity all day, but what good does it do to find a religion that teaches the correct (in your mind) teaching, if it doesn't meet your needs and treats you poorly? That is what the JWs are to me, a religion that completely fails in supporting it's members. I was a member for thirty years, trust me when I say that they are not good to their people.

They put way too much emphasis on meeting a set of strict and rigid requirements and far too little emphasis on shepherding and supporting the individual. People are often disfellowshiped and shunned for simple human mistakes, even one time mistakes, even when they do express repentance. Their interpretation of the bible may hit the mark in a few areas, but they also add a lot of questionable beliefs as well, things that are not supported by the bible or are a twisting of the intent.

They also have incorrectly predicted the end of the world many times, each time claiming that they had special knowledge, and then each time later pretending that they had done no such thing. When I was young they claimed someone my age would have no time for a career in this system of things. I am almost 62, and it saddens me that they are still giving young people this bad advice. The bible has a name for people that do this, they are called false prophets.

21

Struggling a bit, guess it's to be expected...........

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

throughout this process since my wife and i disassociated just over a year ago i've been pretty positive.

focusing on my new life, new friends, having fun, and living a good life.

it's been great.

LisaRose

These things you are struggling with are very normal for someone leaving the religion. Cult mind control does not disappear just because you lost faith in the cult, it takes time. These fears were planted deep, on an emotional, not intellectual level, and you will have to work at teasing out and uprooting them. Be assured that reason and logic will win out eventually, although it may take a few years.

In the meantime, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. A lot of people don't necessarily like dressing up for Halloween, so you won't stand out because you don't. Let your wife enjoy it and just be an observer for now, hand out candy, if you feel like it, and just enjoy the simple pleasure of seeing the children in their costumes.

It's a huge deal in my neighborhood, we get over 600 trick or treaters and we go all out, but that wasn't always the case. At first I was just happy to not have to turn out all the lights and hide out in a back room hoping no one would ring the doorbell like a good JW, I didn't start dressing up for five or six years. You may never get to that point and that's OK too, we all have different personalities after all.

At least you understand why you feel uncomfortable with it, and that puts you ahead of the game. I am sure you will eventually come to terms with it all and make choices on current realities, not past conditioning. Some people seem to stay in a kind of limbo, not believing in the religion, but not fully embracing their new life either, and that is kind of sad, don't let that happen to you.

37

Just curious - is apostasy grounds for divorce?

by LifesNotOver in

i know only adultery is supposed to be grounds for "scriptural" divorce.

i'm a wicked apostate in their eyes, but my believing husband and i still can't get a divorce that would allow him to remarry.

we currently are separated - i have left him.

LisaRose

Apostasy is not grounds for divorce, but many times people will lie and say their spouse confessed to adultery when they did not. Especially if it is a man they can and do get away with it. I know of a case where a man claimed his invalid wife confessed to an affair many years previously. He got divorced and married his wife's much younger caretaker. There was a lot of gossip, but he was a powerful elder so he got away with it.

I say get on with your life and let him do what he wants. Don't lie or say you did anything you didn't, but if he wants to claim you cheated, don't go out of your way to contradict him, it's not worth the bother.

19

LEAKED Talk - Depression Is A Part Of This Life

by pale.emperor in

another leak from my collection of talks that i was ordered not to share.

an elder gave me a ton of talks from bethel and special assembleys to put on his ipod.

of course i copied them to my computer and will share them for all of us.. depression is a part of this life by brother nathan fuel.. this talk also touches on the subject of family members being disfellowshipped, feel depressed?

LisaRose

Depression is a part of ~~this~~ life as a Jehovah's Witness.

There, I fixed it.

23

Hey everyone

by coffee_black in

jw
friends

popping in to say hi.... been away from the forum for a long time.... had some serious health issues starting at the beginning of this year.

on the mend now, and getting back into the swing of things.... great to be alive!.

LisaRose

I'm glad you are doing better. I've been doing better with my health issues as well.

7

Post Election GoP: I Predict ...

by Simon in

... a riot, i predict a riot !

(great song).

the republican party allowed themselves to be taken over.

LisaRose

I think it's possible Trump will start his own party. He has has been pretty soundly rejected by main stream republicans, but the fame and adulation is a drug he will not willingly give up.

He will be a problem for republicans for years to come.