i remember hearing the sounds of the train horn blowing on january 1st 2015 and remembering, "another year and no armagedon".
and i was so disappointed.
i hated to hear that train whistle blow.
I live near an Amtrack rail, the trains pass through several times a day. I love the sound of the horn and the soft rumble of the train. It makes me feel safe, the trains are running, life is going on as it should, right on schedule, all is well.
It's nice to not have to think as about doom and gloom isn't it?
i don't know what to do.... i married last year and things have been very rocky.
we dated for 4 years and did have normal issues but always had a lingering doubt something was just not right in our relationship-behavior to be more specific, he is not a jw, but i am.
yes i know i married outside the "lord" but after my first marriage to a jw ended in divorce for physical abuse, i was glad i didn't married another jw.
Asbergers can be a problem, but it doesn't mean you cannot have a successful relationship. You need to sit down and have an honest discussion with him about your needs and his willingness to try to meet those needs. Does he feel sex is a problem? Does he see he needs to change anything? In my limited experience with Asbergers, he may need to have things spelled out, they typically do not pick up on social subtleties.
Think about the future and what you might expect going forward. Do you see yourself having children? Do you think he is capable of being a good father?
Do not let that fact that you failed in a relationship previously affect your decision. This relationship either works or it doesn't. If this cannot work, it's better to find out now than five years from now, when you have even more time invested. Think long and hard about what you want and what he is capable of.
so we know that wt settled out of court for an undisclosed sum and that presumably there was a 'gagging order' attached to the settlement.. not having really thought about what a 'confidentiality clause' meant before, i assumed in the past that it meant that you weren't allowed to disclose the amount of the settlement or any details about it.
but from the total and absolute silence once the settlement was made, i can only assume that it is a total gagging order.. how can the courts allow such a restriction to be put on a victim?
protecting the abusers and allowing the institution to cover up the lengths they go to to avoid admitting their guilt?
If they settled out of court, it was the choice of the parties involved, the courts cannot prevent a person from reaching a settlement.
And her name is Candace Conti, not Conte.
And what she probably agreed to was not a "gagging order", but a non disclosure clause. A gag order (not gagging) is usually issued by a judge during a trial to prevent people from talking about it. Again, it was an agreement between the two parties in the case, the courts cannot (and should not) prevent two parties from reaching such an agreement.
i wanted to introduce myself.
like many of you i was born-in, am married with one child.
after 36 years of this cycle: doubts-thought stopping- suppression- indoctrination-cult mode i realised enough was enough.
Welcome!
I am so happy your daughter will not have to live the guilt ridden life of a Jehovah's Witness. Good for you for giving her that precious gift.
Lisa 🌹
i won't make this long.
i went out again and found him.
got in through the back door, pushed him to wake up, got him out, fed him, watered him and said he was family and i have a plan.. we talked all day, i let him do what he does, in order not to scare him about the future change that could happen for him.
She cannot admit that she might not have done the best for him, so she makes you into the villain so she can feel good about herself. It's pretty predictable with JWs, with most people really.
Good for you for doing what needed to be done and putting up with her abuse. I am sure your nephew will be grateful, although if he gets better she will hate you all the more.
many people are understandably upset and angry at the notion that jws have the right to shun people.
it seems such an obvious "no brainer" cruel and inhuman thing to do - it must be wrong ... surely?.
of course we look at things from the perspective of those hurt and harmed by shunning.
You cannot legislate to force people to talk to one another, it violates the basic rights of individuals.
I don't think any attempt by government to restrict a religion from teaching their members to shun will work either, but itwould be nice to see an educational campaign that would shine a light on this hateful practice. How many people would join a religion if they knew that they would be expected to shun their own child in some circumstances? It's not something they talk about much before baptism, if at all, they pretend it's only in cases of very willful sin, and only if someone is completely unrepentant. It's one of the biggest lies they tell.
Broken families, suicide, and great personal anguish are the end result of this hateful practice, yet most people know nothing about it.
what is a cult and what is a religion?
its open to debate.
who has the authority to say for certain what is a cult and what is a religion?
I think people have forgot what an actual cult is.
Not all cults have a charismatic leader, although the Watchtower was originally led by Charles take Russel, who was considered a charismatic leader in his time.
I think you need to educate yourself on what a cult is. Absolute isolation and control describes some cults, but not all, what makes a cult is the things they do to control their members as described in my post above, and you can't deny the Watchtower uses control, deception, intimidation, relationship control and a clear reporting structure.
No member of a cult believes they are in a cult, that is part of the deception. But if a group teaches that they are the only path to salvation, tells you who you can talk to, encourages members to report bad behavior and hides their history and practices, then they are a cult, no matter if they have a single leader, or a body of leaders, or what clothes they wear. Those are surface trivialities.
If it walks like a duck.......
today at work i had an interesting set of co workers.
one was telling us about her side job selling sex toys(also a l&d nurse).
the other one, very beautiful, intelligent woman told us of her 2 kids.
I have identified a few even though they were not in field service or cart witnessing. There is just something about them, nice, but sort of uptight, like they are filtering every thing you say to make sure you don't contaminate them. I was talking with a couple at a restaurant, they had a hyperactive toddler. I said, don't worry my grandson was just like that, now he is wants to go school to be a minister. She looked uncomfortable and kind of nodded vacantly, so I guessed then. Later I over heard them mention going to "the meeting".
Yup, J-dar
that's right folks time to kick back , pour a cold one and in take in some tunes.. what are you listening to right now ?
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu87294pvx8.
I have Pandora on my Kindle, I usually listen to meditation type music in the evening, it's very relaxing. My favorite artist is Dueter. Last night I hit my Avett brothers station by mistake. I guess the cat has been bored by my meditation music, when she heard the Avett brothers she immediately hopped in my lap and listened attentively, turning her hears back and forth for a good twenty minutes. She likes music and will sit behind the TV with her head on the speakers if there is background music that interests her, but she has been ignoring music on Pandora recently, I guess I need to mix things up a little more.
long time lurker here.
i'm a fifth gen born-in baptized jw.
to say i've been struggling with doubts is an understatement.
Welcome Heartsafire! Great opening post. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to seek the truth and go where the evidence lead you. It seems so simple, but the reality is people just don't often do that.
I would encourage you to read "Mistakes were made ( but not by me)" by Carol Travris, to learn about cognitive dissonance and why as humans we tend to discount information that does not confirm our previously held beliefs. It might make you more aware of what will work when talking to your husband. Getting an indoctrinated spouse to see the truth is not easy, some marriages break up, some continue on but divided, a few have gotten a loved one out, you may be able to also. As I am sure you already know, the direct approach does not work.
Lisa 🌹
