Posts by LisaRose

133

The new service meeting

by John Aquila in

i wanted to relate an experience that happened this morning.

it is regarding the new format for the meeting on thursdays in my area.

its not word for word but im summarizing what i heard, the best i can remember.

I actually believed this at first, but in hindsight I have to say it's one of those things that sounds too good to be true, and things that sound too good to be true usually aren't true. I wonder if JA is playing a game here, saying something that would be nice to believe actually happened to see how many buy it. We all accuse the JWs of confirmation bias, maybe he wants to see how many in the ex JW world are just as guilty of it. It's like those silly modern urban legend stories they tell as actual experiences at the conventions.

While it wouldn't be surprising that a few long time JWs are having doubts about the organization because of the many changes going on right now, would they really openly acknowledge those doubts to others in a group, when saying the GB doesn't speak for God could get you disfellowshipped for apostasy? You might say something to a close friend, but not to a group, ladies of this age would know where that could lead. And how likely are long time dubs going to question things that much anyway? They have a lifetime of suppressing doubts and accepting whatever the Watchtower says no matter how ridiculous, why would they really start questioning things now? Maybe a few here and there, but not that many and not all at once. The part about the wills especially sounds ridiculous.

The other nonsense about the ladies attempting to set him up with an attractive sister just seems like wishful thinking on his part. The whole thing doesn't smell right.

27

Had the C.O visit this week...went out on service and Wow

by MrsR-Awaken in

this is my first post here (not being comments) but i still have to tell my story but for that i need to get my mind together in other to give as much detail as possible to be able to share it.

will do in a future post.. anyway i had to share this.. so i went out on service this morning (i never do i always end up excusing myself because i hate field service) reason i did was to see what the new c.o had to say and he sure did say something.

he was saying what we had to present and he went over the watchtower magazine.

LisaRose

Did he smile at you all before he gave you that advice?

76

What is your relationship with ALCOHOL?

by nicolaou in

here in the uk new drinking guidelines have been issued which suggest "no more than 14 units a week - equivalent to six pints of beer or seven glasses of wine.".

another piece of the advice which is getting a lot of attention is that "if people drink, it should be moderately over three or more days and that some days should be alcohol-free.".

already people are making cries of "nanny state!

LisaRose

I was a heavy drinker the last few years of my JW life, it was a coping mechanism of a sort I guess. I've cut down gradually over the years, I'm down to maybe 3 to five drinks a week. It feels good to have control and just enjoy it and be able to stop.

39

Hello, I'm new here too!

by redpilltwice in

jw
friends

hi everybody, 1st post here.

20 years jw, elder for 6 years, regular pioneer for 3 years, have always been following the 2012 candace conti abuse case with much interest, especially since the case suddenly disappeared from www.watchtower.com's news section (thanks brother j. r. brown, office of public information, because it led me to "worldly" websites for more info), leading to more and more dissatisfaction , leading to jwfacts, jwsurvey, ad1914, wtdocuments etc., leading to my awakening about 4 months ago, now fading faster and faster to zero meetings and zero field service...and you know what?

it feels good!.

LisaRose

Welcome!

49

Slightly different approach - JW my tradition

by closed in

hello everybody :) i have been visiting this forum for some time.

i noticed that many can't really free from the past in the org despite many years outside of jw.

i was awaken with a bang.

LisaRose

Welcome, thanks for your experience. Everyone has to weigh the pros and cons and do what they think best, everyone has different circumstances and there are no easy ways out of this organization, as we all know too well.

Just food for thought, as someone who has been totally out for many years, I think I have perspective that someone who is still in could not have.

You and your family may be suffering in ways you don't realize, just because you are so used to it. I slogged along for years, not really believing in it whole heartedly, but thinking it was still a good way of life. It was only after I left that I realized how much it was affecting me in a very negative way, how toxic it all was. You say your children have been shunned through no fault of their own, do you think that didn't hurt them?

While you may feel that, on the whole, this religion is a good deal for you, it is not the same for others. Many have been abused and are suffering due to hidden child sex abuse, abusive marriages, depression, missing out on educational opportunities, etc. The person sitting next to you in the Kingdom Hall may want to leave, but they look at you and think "brother Closed keeps going and he is a nice person, so it must be the right thing to do". I know because I used to be that person, looking at good people like you who managed to keep going and thinking the problem was only with me.

Your being a part of this organization, even if it's to a lesser degree than before, validates it and gives it power and authority. You are helping to maintain the status quo of an organization you know to be corrupt, because it suits you to stay at this time. This is not a criticism, I was in for thirty years myself, but it is was it is.

There are other religions out there that offer guidance and spirituality without the negative baggage of a cult. This religion harshly criticizes other religions, but a lot of what they say is exaggerated or false. I have been to a few that were great. Not all religions believe in a literal hell, some have no doctrine, leaving it to the individual to decide and letting the bible speak for itself, their purpose is spiritual and moral support in a Christian way of life. I found it quite refreshing. They don't tell you what to think, say and do, what a concept! No burdensome requirements, just love and support.

You might consider whether you are staying because there is good in this religion, or because to change now would be very, very hard. I get it, change is scary, the path through is uncertain, and leaving will be horrible, at least for a while. It's monumental, a way of life, and you must be certain it's the right choice. But it is a choice people have made, so it is possible.

Lisa 🌹

47

Hello, this is my first post

by noralee in

jw
friends

hello, this is my first post, i would like to introduce myself and say thank you to every one on this forum, you have been a lifeline to me these last few years.. i had been a jw for 30 years when i walked away a few years ago disgusted by the treatment victims of child abuse, domestic abuse and rape receive from the wtbts.. at first i thought it was a local problem, elders personal opinions, the way they handled the situations, imperfect men etc., until i checked out jehovahs witnesses and child abuse/domestic abuse online.

that's when i realized they had the same modus operandi worldwide.

that led me here, tbuo this forum, and then to crisis of conscience, jw facts, watchtower documents, jw survey, old watchtower literature and cd s, reading a couple of steve hassans books, and more recently exiting the jw cult.. the feelings of shock, betrayal, anger at the wtbts, angry with myself for being so gullible, depression, reflection, loneliness, have taken their toll.

LisaRose

Welcome Noralee, I am happy to see another new person here. I am sorry you feel you can never forgive yourself, I have struggled with this feeling myself, seeing my adult children deal with life's problems and wondering if they would have an easier time if I hadn't raised them in a soul sucking cult. How can you not feel guilty about that? But you must forgive yourself, you really must. Not just for yourself, although that is important, but for you family and so that this sick religion doesn't steal another minute of your precious time and energy, don't let them win.

We were manipulated and used and it was NOT your fault. It has happened to a lot of good, intelligent people, and you and I are no better, but also no more at fault than they. Keep remembering that you did find your way out, while many others are still stuck inside, so give yourself some credit. Guilt can be a useful emotion, it's what tells us that we did something wrong, but once you have done all you can to fix your mistake and make amends it can become a negative thing, it keeps you from fully embracing your life as it is now and holds you back from being your best self. If your children had joined this cult instead of you, would you want them to feel guilty about it for the rest of their lives? Of course not, you would want them to move on and heal and you should want the same thing for yourself.

One long lasting effect of being in a toxic religion like the JWs is how worthless they make you feel. You were told for years that you were never good enough, your own desires are suspect, your own needs are not important, you only exist to fill the needs of Jehovah (but in reality the needs of the borg). Well, here is a secret it took me a while to figure out; sometimes it's good to be selfish! Sometimes you need to be a little selfish to take care of your own needs and do what you have to do to live your best life.

I highly recommend two things for those struggling with difficult emotions, meditation and journaling. Journaling is useful for getting your thoughts up and out. Just sit down every day and write, no filters, no purpose, just write, write write. Julia Cameron, in her book The Artists Way, recommends this for unlocking the creativity we all have in us, and even if you are not an artist, we all need to be creative to be our best self, don't we? I like to do a page a day, after a time you will see a pattern emerge, and start seeing why and how these guilt feeling pop up, and it will help you stop that negative thinking.

Meditation is also very good at calming the mind and learning to think in more positive ways. It also offers serious, proven health benefits, I have been able to keep my blood pressure under control without medication, simply by meditating for a few minutes every day. I also find it makes me more organized and productive for the rest of the day, so it's time well spent and has been life changing for me.

Lisa 🌹

21

CoBE Joins those Elders Deserting the Sinking Ship

by The Searcher in

from a reliable source:.

a young cobe - late thirties, maybe forty - has resigned in december 2015, both as the cobe and as an elder.

word is that he is a man with a young family who is stressed out and has had enough.

LisaRose

Stress is often given as a reason for elders stepping down, it's fairly socially acceptable, and it could be true. It could also be he is tired of begging for money for the governing body when he knows people are already giving as much as they can, I can't imagine it's a very pleasant experience. But he wouldn't be able to give that as a reason, could he?

7

Star Wars VS Caleb and Sophia

by PaintedToeNail in

jw
friends

i took my girls to star wars last night, their inebriated father came along.

the girls absolutely loved it.

all the way home they were asking questions about the force and leia and han, luke and so on.

LisaRose

Smart kid, sometimes children are better at spotting the lies. When my daughter was four she urged me to divorce her dad and marry a rich man so I could quit work and stay home with her. Too bad I didn't follow that advice, lol.

27

New Years Resolutions

by cognac in

jw
friends

mine are:.

1. move.

2. lose a little weight .

LisaRose

My resolutions

Loose ten pounds

Stop posting on JWN

Get off all prescription medications. At one time I was in four, down to one, would likto get off of it. t

10

Merry Christmas!

by lambsbottom in

jw
friends

wow, 4 years!

it has been a real journey.

going from a devout jw, to having a close call with a loved one possibly needing a transfusion, to researching the heck out of everything, to letting it rest and go back to sleep for a while, to moving states and almost going crazy knowing all the bs they were speaking from the platform.

LisaRose

I am so happy for you, glad things are going well, thanks for letting us know. So many times people come here in a crisis, get support, then move on in their lives. That's really what should happen, but it's nice to get confirmation sometimes.

Felix Navidad!