LisaRose

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Posts by LisaRose

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  24

  Just handed in my Disassociation letter

  by Thirteenth tribe in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  tonight my dl was posted by hand by my husband (a worldly guy).

  i had the luxury of being at work distracted whilst he posted it.

  i have been baptised for just over 2 years and studied since 2010. i couldn't take it anymore, not just the zealous dislike/disgust for 'people in the world' (this includes my husband and 99% of my family btw) but the obvious.... the investigations into child sexual abuse.

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  LisaRose

  Congratulations on seeing through the lies, you dodged a bullet.

  Welcome to the rest of your life.

  Lisa 🌹
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  18

  Finding love as a witness

  by RawrSaysTheLion in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  hi i'm new.. i'm going on 2yrs as a baptized witness although i've just received a reproval on the grounds of living with a wordly man unmarried for 6 months.

  long story short it ended messy and i ran straight back to the witnesses because i do love jehovah and i missed my family.

  my issues were only with the actual organization.. i desperately want to find someone to share my world with but i feel like i'm too tainted to be loved by anyone worthy in the truth and my morals are to high to love another boy from the world.

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  LisaRose

  You have painted yourself in a nice little corner haven't you?

  You are making several incorrect assumptions and your black and white thinking is making you see very limited options.

  I desperately want to find someone to share my world with but I feel like I'm too tainted to be loved by anyone worthy in the truth

  That is ridiculous. Many, many Jehovah's Witnesses have been reproved or disfellowshipped and then gone on to find acceptable marriage mates. It might take time, but you could repair your reputation, if that's what you truly wanted to do. You are probably young and six months or a year seems like forever, but it's not.

  and my morals are to high to love another boy from the world.

  Well, no offence, but actually you have proven your morals aren't actually that high. It's not the end of the world, we all make mistakes, but why make an assumption that every boy "in the world" has low morals and that every JW guy has good morals? The reality is the JWs do not have a lock on morality. Many JWs do immoral things and just don't get caught and many people outside your religion have good morals, they just don't go on about it all the time.

  If your Christian beliefs are important to you and you want to find a moral husband who shares your belief in Christ, then focus on that. The bible says you should marry a fellow believer, it doesn't say you have to marry a Jehovah's Witnesss, just a fellow believer in Christ. It's not actually Christian to judge a fellow Christian because their interpretation of the scriptures differs from yours. The early Christians had differing views, they were not ostracized for it. There are other good religions out there, and good people in them. You could probably still remain a JW if that is important to you, it's not a disfellowshipping offence to marry a non JW, you would just not be able to have pre marital sex.

  If, on the other hand, you really want to live the JW life, and only see happiness with a JW husband, then you will probably have to compromise on some of your wishes. Maybe you find a guy who is good, but not good looking, or maybe you find a guy who also made mistakes in the past. At the end of the day you might also not find a mate, that is the reality, but you are a long way from knowing for sure you can't find a JW guy.

  But before you do anything, I would urge you to investigate your own religion. The Watchtower is not what you think it is, so before you make painful choices that will limit your future, why not see if you are actually in the right religion in the first place?
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  51

  Why facts fail to reach the faithful, (even the intelligent ones)

  by done4good in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i posted this on another thread, and decided it deserves its own...thoughts?.

  an unfortunate artifact of evolution is that belief can, and often does trump fact.

  survival is at the core of what belief is about.

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  LisaRose

  I believe we are hard wired by evolution to go by out "gut beliefs" rather than objective facts. It may have helped us survive when we had to decide to fight or run from that wolf stalking us, but doesn't serve is well in our increasingly complex society.

  I read an actual comment posted bysomeone who thought the idea that the earth was round was just plain silly, because if that were true then tall buildings would be tilted. The earth looked flat to her and her gut feeling that it must actually be flat was not affected by the objective truth, proven by a mountain of evidence. This is an extreme example by a real dim bulb, but it's not far off from things many people believe.
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  70

  When is a theory 'just a theory'?

  by HB in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the titles of cofty's excellent recent posts are all preceeded by the words "evolution is a fact...".

  richard dawkins is encouraging people to use the term 'fact' in relation to evolution, especially when debating with creationists as the word 'theory' is confusing to many, and the latter often takes the discussion off on an often unproductive tangent.

  the following may be of interest, it's from the bbc website - part of a regular series of articles called 'the vocabularist', discussing the origin and meaning of words: .

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  LisaRose

  
  

  
  

  1. the·o·ry
     [ˈTHirē]

     NOUN

  A coherent group of tested general propositions, commonly regarded as correct, that can be used as principles of explanations and predictions for a class of phenomena.

  Einstein's theory of relativity.

  Synonyms: principle, law, doctrine.

  
  
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  21

  Last Day of Chemo

  by azor in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  today is the end of my son's 3 -1/2 year treatment for leukemia.

  we had a small party at the hospital with nursing staff and a few friends.

  it has been a great day with the exception of getting walking pnemonia from his sister.

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  LisaRose

  That's great news, I am very happy for you.
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  23

  So I had a conversation with an older brother...

  by My Name is of No Consequence in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  recently, i was speaking with an older brother who is well into his 80's and is a widower.

  he explained to me that it is tough getting old and that "nothing works right anymore".

  he told me that he was able to get through his 70's with few problems.

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  LisaRose

  I think older people are just as aware of the failures of the Watchtower as others, if not more so. They were around in 1975, they know, at least on some level, that their predictions were just plain wrong, they expected to be in the new system 40 years ago. They don't leave because at that stage in life it's too hard to start over with no friends and/or family. The organization obviously doesn't care about them, as their is no support or effort extended to those who gave their life for the organization and now don't have anything left to give. I am glad I got out when I was young enough to start over.
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  34

  My boyfriend is thinking of becoming reinstated

  by gypsyvine in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm not really sure where to post this.. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and i've really never been happier.

  i was brought up in the church of christ with an elder father and i really believe in my religion, although i will admit to being a lousy christian at times due to sheer laziness (not wanting to get out of bed on sunday).

  my boyfriend essentially lives with me.

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  LisaRose

  It's possible that it could all work out, but it's not going to be easy.

  The big question is, does he believe this religion is the truth or not? This is a cult, plain and simple, they use mind control to manipulate people, it's a hard thing to overcome. If he has researched this religion and doesn't believe it's "The Truth", and is only going back for his mom that would be one thing. But if he is just having a detour, engaging in conduct he believes to be wrong out of weakness, then the outlook for the future is not good for the both of you. Very often young JWs will have a rebellion, but later go back out of guilt, because they never understood how much they had been manipulated, and still think this is the one true religion. Of course he would never believe or accept that it is a cult, that is the nature of cults.

  I would hate for you to invest a lot of time in a relationship only to be disappointed when he decides to marry a JW. Even if you got married, the JW life is to be quite involved in the preaching work, hours of meetings every week and lots of study. Are you prepared if he decides to embrace that life? What if you had children, are you OK with them going to the Kingdom Hall on a regular basis? How would you feel if your husband taught them that you will be destroyed at Armageddon because you were not a JW? This is what they actually believe. You have seen for yourself the awful practice of shunning, is that what you want in your life? I have seen hundreds of families torn apart by this, including my own, it's not pretty.

  If I were you I would ask your boyfriend to do some research on the history of his religion. Most Jehovah's Witnesses have been taught to fear anything written by former members, we are considered "mentally diseased apostates". It's a sort of phobia, the fear makes them reject anything we say, that's why it's so hard to get them to mentally break free. But if he is willing to look into it you might have a chance. I suggest JWfacts.com as a start, or to read the book "crisis of conscience". If he refuses to consider "apostate" sites, then it's going to be harder, but you could suggest he research some of the main teachings from a neutral source. He could research early leaders like Charles Russel, or Rutherford on Wikipedia, do a search on sex abuse and Jehovah's Witnesses or the Australian Commission and Jehovah's Witnesses. Also, have him research one of the churches main teachings, which is the end times chronology based on the fall of Jerusalem in 607 (hint, it didn't actually fall in 607). If you are willing to do some research, I suggest "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan. He has good info on how to help someone in someone in a cult to break free.

  Good luck.
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  18

  DF'ed arrival/departure times at meetings

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i didn't want to derail another thread, but something said made me wonder.

  i know that i noticed df'ed people come in right when the meeting started and leave right when it left most of the time.

  is that some sort of actual rule?

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  LisaRose

  It's awkward for every one involved to have a disfellowshipped person sitting in the Kingdom Hall *NOT* being talked to. It's not normal human behavior to shun another human who you know. It's especially excruciating for the disfellowshipped person, so why would they get there any earlier than they had to?
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  21

  Thoughts during the meeting today

  by stephanie61092 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  while i'm politely sitting during the meeting today, restraining myself from rolling my eyes as the brother drones on about how "having an independent spirit is devilish in nature" and "independence from gods organization only results in pain and strife", i only have one thought going through my mind over and over.

  "what would happen if i pulled out a gun and blew my brains out in this kingdom hall?".

  would anyone notice or care?

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  LisaRose

  I am sure it must painful sitting there as an outcast, and of course that is the point. They want it to hurt, they want to break you so that you bend to their will and never have an independent thought ever again, that's how cults work. it's how they maintain control, not just of you but of the others as well. If you can make people be deliberately cruel to another person you have made them more likely to stay in the cult, as people will then have to justify their cruel behavior to themselves, they Then must believe there was a good reason.

  I am sure the others would be shocked and saddened if you did something like that, but they would find a way to justify the cruelty in their mind, they would have to in order to live with themselves. Cognitive dissonance would not allow them to see their culpability.

  I know it was just a passing thought, but I can't help but be concerned for you well being. I hope you have a support system of people that can help you get through this. While shunning is considered normal in the JW world, it's not normal behavior, it's one of the most hurtful things you can do to a person. Perhaps there is a support group you can join? You shouldn't have to go through this alone. I also highly recommend meditation. it's something you can do while sitting at the Kingdom Hall and could help you get through the next few months (you do not have to close your eyes to meditate, so no one would know).

  I am always available via PM if you need to vent.
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  36

  I have too much crap!! How to declutter/dehoard.....

  by Muddy Waters in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  some areas of our home are very nice, tidy, clean.

  and other rooms are just junk and clutter and clothes and papers.... omg.

  and now that we are getting older, we realize that we face a time of transition -- and this is hard to cope with too, as we believed the lie that we would never get old, etc.

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  LisaRose

  I move about every ten years, it sort of forces you to purge. My husband's parents had to move after living sixty years in the same place, it was awful. My father in law didn't get rid of anything, and put off every decision to the last minute. Just keep reminding yourself that it's only THINGS, and things are not important, your relationships and freedom to have an orderly life are far important than any material possession. If it isn't usefor and doesn't bring you joy, get rid of it, no matter how much you paid for it or who gave it to you.

  I like Blondie's four box method, simple and doable. Another resource is the fly lady, http://flylady.net/. It's a forum for people that have trouble cleaning and organizing. She recommends something called the 27 fling boogie. You get a trash bag and pick out 27 things to throw away. You just keep doing that, a bit at a time so you don't get overwhelmed.