Mozzie,
Welcome! I am sorry you are so stressed out by all of this right now. First of all, take a deep breath and relax. The Watchtower has been saying Armageddon is coming for over a hundred years now. They originally thought Armageddon was going to be in 1897, then 1914, 1935, 1975. They have a 100% failure rate in date predictions, so why believe them now?
The world is not as horrible as they paint it, in fact there has never been a better time to be alive. You have a better chance of living a long healthy life than you have ever had. So don't panic, OK?
You only keep thinking about this religion because of your early experience with it, it's not based on logic, it's based on the mind control techniques they used. They use fear, obligation and guilt to control people, that is why you have a hard time letting go of it. The more logical part of your brain tells you that an organization that does the things they do could not be approved by God. Do you think God want you to make decisions based on fear, or decisions based on truth and logic? Investigate the religion some more and trust yourself to make the right decisions. Look at JWfacts.com for the truth about "the truth".
You obviously have a good heart, you know it would be wrong to leave your family, so trust that. After twenty years I am sure in your heart you are married, so who cares that you don't have a piece of paper? Your wife sounds like a really good woman, so why would you hurt her by leaving? No religion is good if it tells you to do something that would hurt others, and leaving would hurt your family.
Don't jump into anything, take the time you need to make the right decisions.
Lisa🌹