You should consider yourself as having gone through a traumatic event and may suffer from PTSD, just as anyone who has suffered a traumatic event, especially since you have family that continues to perpetrate the abuse. Give yourself permission to do whatever it takes to deal with this and move on.
Not to criticize you, but referring to this sham of a religion as "the truth" tells me that you may be still internalizing some of the Watchtower ideology. These are loaded words that they use to keep people mentally enslaved. There is nothing about this religion that has anything to do with truth. I get it, old habits die hard, it took years for me to root out this mindset, but just be aware that is part of the reason it's so hard to break free