Posts by goldenshell

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

Baptized/still baptized/getting baptized

Unfortunately he Actively attends meetings 3 times a week

Going out in field service :i dont really know what that means but 4 the whole month of July he had appointments with people interested to read the Scriptures and he told me that he forgot about it so we had to delay meeting to another ''unknown''time .

Raising his hand during the watch tower study <-----dont know about that ,can you tell me what is it?

Giving sermons/talks/ministry school assignments <-------he mentioned that they teach how to talk and give sermons

Jgnat:

txs 4 the advices !

men are not the only interest in my life by the way .I dont know why you assumed so. And by the way this is a forum where people exchange opinions .I dont agree when u say why bother investigating Jw any further .Why bother writing or answering then ?I want to know with who am i dealing with (BF)i want to understand what i cannot , and this will benefit not just me but my son too when he will ever deal with someone from JW faith so for me to talk to you and to know as much as i can is not a waiste of time .I definitely know more now so i can find out if is gonna lie or not .

TXS

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

Hi plmkrzy

what do you mean by active?

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

God bless u littlerockguy ..

i think the same (that he applies to the rules that suits him most !!! )Agapa dont worry i dont want to judge anybody i actually appreciate ur honesty and please enlight me more with as much infos as u can that will help me to understand ...i would like actually to know from you how and when u started to see ur faith in the way u described above....i believe you have a strong personality and judgment ....and i wish i would be able to talk with him in the same way i talk with you guys ...not that i dont do with him but is like i ask :hello how are you today ?and he answers :i still have to do some shopping ...you know what i mean

NOW U TELL ME WHAT U THINK ABOUT IT (i hope he will never have the chance to read that or to go by mistake to this site )

i started to write:i really dont understand what is going on i
just want to know if ure ok...?give a sign if u really care

his reply :( tried calling you but I couldn't get through
No need to worry
Very busy here
Im preparing now for my holidays trying to find a flight Hope u r enjoying yourselves
Will write more when I get more time >>>>>>> he never rang

me:dont know if u got the previous message ...am ok trying to enjoy and
save
money(impossible)...good ure gonna go on holidays ...will try to top up
soon
..where r u planning 2 go?

him:Hi there ,got the message but is very busy here at work so couldn't
answer
Nice u r enjoying yourself
I will be going to France for 16 days
Will try writing more when I get the chance today But just try to enjoy yourself
As much as possible
Take care >>>>>>>>>> he never rang

Me:

well done ...how can u
>say dont worry ...r u planning to keep like that till saturday ?..and
>then come back from holidays as nothing happened ?i dont know what is
>ur problem ...when u want ,you know how to communicate ...but seems that is a
>big effort ....can u explain? ..4 me nothing is fine ure not single..unless
>if u want to be alone or ure doing ur best to tease me...not even
sorry couldnt write for this or that reason

>..u dont care anymore and is a fact ...so please dont tell me that
>everything is fine

Him:

Everything is fine,I was on a training yesterday and today.so that's why

>I am not in MSN.
>I am not doing anything on purpose to tease you >I don't understand why you presume so?
>Maybe sometimes I could communcate better, but its not because Im
>teasing or something. Its maybe because I'm busy , on traing, not
>topping up mobile cos makes no sense to spend money just before >journey, I don't have internet at home I have to work and it gets busy
>here. I see your point , but you have to understand the other side
too.

Me:

i tell u something ...u dont think is important to top up to talk to
me ..thank you ..very much
i care too much and i think too much while ure the opposite is true..no point to top up before travelling ...so
why do i bother myself to ring you ?to txt you? ...say exactly what is the problem..ure
cold ....Maybe sometimes I could communicate better!!!!is a
joke????Lucky who remember ur voice .u never had a girlfriend but now is different ..u dont need to have a girlfriend to show to
someone that u care ...
I don't have internet at home I have to work and it gets busy here>i
dont have internet either !
i have to work 2 and is busy here too

seems like ure bothered that someone cares about you

so please dont tell me that everything is ok
am making sacrifices 4 u ..4
what?what are u sacrificing?
why i have always to understand the other side ?i think is selfish
and u use excuses ..talk clear cause we have one life only
remember !what ure doing is wrong and u know it
am tired of people playing games ,am tired of giving too much and get
nothing back,am tired of sacrifice always myself and to be always the
one that has 2 understand...where do u live?

Him:

I don't agree , Im not cold . Nothing is the matter!
What do you want me to say?
Im not going to say you are right when I don't feel you are.Im not going
to lie.Not sure what you mean by:
am making sacrifices 4 u ..4
what?what are u sacrificing? >>>>(i never specified but i meant:Resist Temptation is a sacrifice 4 me !!!!!!!!and if is gonna be for 3 years how do you call it???)

me:no answer

him:think you shouldn't go home angry today
Im not going to write much because it doesn't make sense.
Take care

him:

You are obviously very angry.
you aren't appearing online means that
Either you are busy, not at work or angry( hurt)
Anyway, I'm traveling tomorrow. I don't know if you will want to write back, perhaps not I don't know
but I will be writing

him from holidays after 6 days :

Im in a internet cafe right now.Its ver hot and there is no air conditioning in here at all. I hope you are doing fine, but its obvious that you are still angry at me. Look Im sorry, thats all I can say.I didnt behave that way on purpose ok. Take care of yourself, Since then one attempt of call that i missed ..... WAITING 4 ENLIGHTMENTS

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

Agapa ure answer is very wise and u touched one important point:he actually asked me more than once if i was leaving my husband for him or if i would have done it anyway?

My answer was :i would have left him anyway but maybe it would have take longer

i saw in him what i didnt see in my husband

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

sorry again this is the correct one:

i converted so i shouldnt date someone from another faith

txs

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

sorry again,thats the right one:

i converted so i shouldnt date someone from another faith

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

What i mean is that i converted and i shouldnt !

i will explain cause i made a mistake in writing>i converted so i should date someone from another faith

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

I will reply to everybody :

I agree when u say that my BF wasnt honest from the beginning with me because he went that far . I also agree that his desire and curiosity was strong .What i am concerned about is that he expect me to be the only one to understand When u say that i am suppose to date only from my faith ure right .What i mean is that i converted and i shouldnt ! but my love is stronger than that and maybe i expect the same from him !!!Am breaking rules and thats why maybe am so angry @him cause am doing what am not supposed to .Am also holding myself from touching him...he knows he is a great effort but ...which sacrifices is he doing?which compromises?

He is not married but extra ,over carefull with his brothers that live in the same apartment with him.If i ring him and he is brothers are with him he would send me a txt back.Before i decided to live my husband he was very close to me ,he gave me good advices and he even predicted my husband next moves(hitting me ).My experience was very close to his mom experience when she was married to his dad and wanted to live him then JW approached them and i feel that the mother found help in them (one of the members helped them to leave the house).He tells me that many good things happened to them since they started to get closer to the ''faith''(his mother found answers that nobody could find and if there was no food in the house ,after praying suddendly they would find food or neighbours would have bring them something to eat ....pls c'mon my question for you guys is :are u ex JW Or still JW?and if ure not how did u come out?

I will definitely buy the book one of you adviced me to

My other question is :Why he told me that if i want to leave he wont stop me or blame me he will understand ?Cant he leave me?if he really loves me and care about me and stop seeing me suffering he should talk clear ,or because he cares :he thinks i will suffer more if he leaves?(also he proves he is not a man)

If it might help to understand better my Bf i will copy and paste his recent conversation trying to convince me that everything is ok !

What do you think guys?

Believe me that i think about my son and i want the best for him and thats why am so concerned and thats why i will definitely seek professional help (help me to give the right answers to my son that ignore why his dad left :he is too young)

Maybe i lost confidence (txs to my husband)and i think that is gonna be really hard 4 me to find someone else ....ever ....

i will have to wait 3 years to be able to marry again because am in Europe and because my bf he is not from my religion (if he would have been muslim :i can marry even tomorrow ,and i think is the same for him ...if he wants to marry from his religion it can happen even tomorrow...

the idea of the vasectomy was already in him from the beginning(he says because he wants to be a perfect father and he is scared to fail he cannot afford to fail and i also think that is related to his experience as a child that suffered :his dad wasnt great ,he says that he doesnt like teenagers )he doesnt know many things :How to explain to him what is missing?(child/sex)

Txs

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

Hi again Megan,

i forgot to mention that his brothers dont know about us ,so i guess he spoke with other people or he is just following what he think is best .

Txs to Dave again !Believe me that am doing my best !Sometimes is easier to give advices for the people that are outside of the circle then from the people that are already involved ...believe me ..i know that to end it should be the best solution and i might reach that stage ...is just a matter of time ....do u think that JW have strong or weak minds?

50

Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell in

is the 1st time i write in here .

am really confused about my jw boyfriend attitude .. am separated and with a child .i went through a really bad time after separation (7 months ago)and one of the reasons the relashionship wth my husband ended is because i fell in love with my actual boyfriend ..was love @1st sight ...we didnt make love 4 obvious reasons related to his faith but @the beginning things were much easier :he allowed me to touch him in his intimate parts ,we touched each other (we saw each other naked without making love once)and was very exciting...but the more we were getting involved the accraction was growing more and more and even if i am from a different belief (converted to islam)we agreed that nobody should try to change the other or impose anything ,,,but now i feel he is a bit selfish >he doesnt allow me to touch him under the belt (telling me that recently he discovered he is not allowed to do that )he doesnt even touch my breast because he is not supposed to(after he did before)he is 30 years old ,very good looking man and he keeps telling me when he sees me (once a month :which is even too much)that he cant resist me !but is actually the opposite !!

!he is resisting me ...before i will be able to committ to him i will have to wait 3 years which means also have sex >i dont know and i dont think i will be able to resist after 5 years of marriage and ''regular'' sex life //i am tired of seeing him once a month because his family doesnt know about us (he tells me that if they knew they would tell him to stop helping them with money and to stay with me :but he doesnt wantto make that choice,since he was young he supported the family //on top of that after marriage he doesnt want to have children and he tells me that i have already 1 child (we spoke many times bout that and to make sure he wont have children he wants to do an operation that will sterilize him ).

goldenshell

Txs to the nice words Megan.

I want to say to Linda:he got baptized 5 years ago but he is Jw since he is 10.

His mother approached the faith 1st .He says that no one forced him .I believe that when ure young you dont have same judgment of an adult to understand what is best for you .I will never change religion again cause i converted to Islam 5 years ago .I feel that Megan came closer to what my bf felt eventhough he really used a bad excuse .He told me recently that he knows i am not happy and that i suffered a lot and that if i want to leave him,is not gonna blame me but he will understand!!!!!!!For me this answer gave me no hope and i felt really bad :as if he doesnt care whatever i do (cause for him is fine ,he is not loosing anything)...am not desperate 4 sex but i want to feel happy ,loved completely and dont feel like a14 years old girl when i am not ...I would like to have as much information i can to reply to him and prove that he is wrong ,but i can only be myself ,simple as i am ,direct and sometimes i feel he is annoyed that someone cares that much or worry about him.

Txs again